BEANTOWN HIJINX: Chapter 1--
And now, time for something a little bit different. Let me know what you think: I'm feeling pretty strong, and pretty good about myself today, so it looks like YOU, my intrepid readers, will be rewarded with a little outburst of creativity. On to the show!
"You're all set," he said, as he led them away from the cramped confines of the office, outside to the curb. A few weeks back, when they first planned to drive to Boston for Kevin and Julia’s wedding, there was little discussion as to which car would be chosen. Adam’s Stratus is a few years younger than Kup’s Camry, not to mention the Camry had been struggling of late—chancing a16 hour round-trip through autumnal New England probably wasn’t the best of ideas. However, as the best laid plans of mice and men are one to do, this final road trip between two best friends was sidetracked before it ever got started, for Adam’s parents had other plans. For one reason or another (none which ever had actually become clear to him) his normally laid back and worry-free folks were totally shaken by the thought of their middle child traversing a thousand miles of interstate in a car barely five years old. They offered to fly him to Boston, but like a good little frat boy, he couldn’t leave his comrade behind to make the journey alone. As an alternative, then, they actually rented him a car. Though he knew the very notion of renting a car that would probably be older than the one he would drive otherwise was absurd, if there’s one thing Adam had learned about his parents, it was how to pick his battles. Which brought him to Enterprise with Kup that morning.
The tall, young, obviously bored man behind the counter ran Adam’s credit card, and checked both of their licenses (apparently so they couldn’t run off to Canada with the Honda P.O.S. they were about to be awarded), before leading them outside to meet the chariot awaiting them. Though tension wasn’t necessarily in the air, curiosity surely was. What kind of car would they get? Would it run well? Would it look cool? Would it have a CD player? While Kup knew nothing could beat the Audi he rented the month before for the Autobahn, Adam really didn’t care what kind of car they were awarded, just so long as it wasn’t a Ford Focus. In actuality, he sort of hoped for a 2000 Dodge Stratus, just so he could call his dad and laugh at the irony of it all. Little did either of them know, they were about to meet Tony, the Cadillac of Kias.
Yes. A Kia. Specifically, something called an “Amanti.” When the tall bored man presented it to them, Adam was dumbfounded, and like Luke Skywalker laying his eyes on the Millennium Falcon for the first time, Kup was less than impressed. Styled to look like a European luxury sedan, the blue four-door featured an all-pleather interior and fwood (as in “fake wood”) paneling, six-CD changer, seven Infinity speakers, power everything, sun roof, heated seats, V-6 engine, and a price tag of just under $30,000. Truly the American Eagle to Jaguar’s Abercrombie & Fitch, Tony Amanti, as he would affectionately come to be known, begged the question, “who buys a luxury Kia?” It was equipped with upwards of 278 air bags because as someone noted “it probably crumples like a tin can as soon as it hits anything.” Though skeptical at first, the Adams would come to love Tony, and his ability to make rushes “up ice” to catch cars on the highway. Though his 18 gallon gas tank lacked efficiency, and the sunroof refused to open, he handled magnificently on stretches of some very foreboding highway, like Route 22 through Central Pennsylvania. Tony Amanti could have been re-christened Tony Eusabio, for he was the epitome of a True Champion.
Locked and loaded with a half-tank of gas (Thanks! Enterprise!) the duo were finally on their way to Boston. Kup had been there before, but Adam had waited most of his life for a chance to visit a city he would surely love. Would the Red Sox and Patriots sour his taste for the city and its people? Or would the overwhelming brotherhood-induced fun of the weekend prevail? Whatever the future held at the end of the road to Massachusetts, they were about to find out. That is, once they picked up Jamie, and found Bromberg’s house…
Stay tuned, as we bring you Jack the Sailor, the Buff, and the Best Damn Wedding Speech Period. With special guest stars Jamison Bedison and the Chicken Ranch Rapper. Table 9 for Life!
"You're all set," he said, as he led them away from the cramped confines of the office, outside to the curb. A few weeks back, when they first planned to drive to Boston for Kevin and Julia’s wedding, there was little discussion as to which car would be chosen. Adam’s Stratus is a few years younger than Kup’s Camry, not to mention the Camry had been struggling of late—chancing a16 hour round-trip through autumnal New England probably wasn’t the best of ideas. However, as the best laid plans of mice and men are one to do, this final road trip between two best friends was sidetracked before it ever got started, for Adam’s parents had other plans. For one reason or another (none which ever had actually become clear to him) his normally laid back and worry-free folks were totally shaken by the thought of their middle child traversing a thousand miles of interstate in a car barely five years old. They offered to fly him to Boston, but like a good little frat boy, he couldn’t leave his comrade behind to make the journey alone. As an alternative, then, they actually rented him a car. Though he knew the very notion of renting a car that would probably be older than the one he would drive otherwise was absurd, if there’s one thing Adam had learned about his parents, it was how to pick his battles. Which brought him to Enterprise with Kup that morning.
The tall, young, obviously bored man behind the counter ran Adam’s credit card, and checked both of their licenses (apparently so they couldn’t run off to Canada with the Honda P.O.S. they were about to be awarded), before leading them outside to meet the chariot awaiting them. Though tension wasn’t necessarily in the air, curiosity surely was. What kind of car would they get? Would it run well? Would it look cool? Would it have a CD player? While Kup knew nothing could beat the Audi he rented the month before for the Autobahn, Adam really didn’t care what kind of car they were awarded, just so long as it wasn’t a Ford Focus. In actuality, he sort of hoped for a 2000 Dodge Stratus, just so he could call his dad and laugh at the irony of it all. Little did either of them know, they were about to meet Tony, the Cadillac of Kias.
Yes. A Kia. Specifically, something called an “Amanti.” When the tall bored man presented it to them, Adam was dumbfounded, and like Luke Skywalker laying his eyes on the Millennium Falcon for the first time, Kup was less than impressed. Styled to look like a European luxury sedan, the blue four-door featured an all-pleather interior and fwood (as in “fake wood”) paneling, six-CD changer, seven Infinity speakers, power everything, sun roof, heated seats, V-6 engine, and a price tag of just under $30,000. Truly the American Eagle to Jaguar’s Abercrombie & Fitch, Tony Amanti, as he would affectionately come to be known, begged the question, “who buys a luxury Kia?” It was equipped with upwards of 278 air bags because as someone noted “it probably crumples like a tin can as soon as it hits anything.” Though skeptical at first, the Adams would come to love Tony, and his ability to make rushes “up ice” to catch cars on the highway. Though his 18 gallon gas tank lacked efficiency, and the sunroof refused to open, he handled magnificently on stretches of some very foreboding highway, like Route 22 through Central Pennsylvania. Tony Amanti could have been re-christened Tony Eusabio, for he was the epitome of a True Champion.
Locked and loaded with a half-tank of gas (Thanks! Enterprise!) the duo were finally on their way to Boston. Kup had been there before, but Adam had waited most of his life for a chance to visit a city he would surely love. Would the Red Sox and Patriots sour his taste for the city and its people? Or would the overwhelming brotherhood-induced fun of the weekend prevail? Whatever the future held at the end of the road to Massachusetts, they were about to find out. That is, once they picked up Jamie, and found Bromberg’s house…
Stay tuned, as we bring you Jack the Sailor, the Buff, and the Best Damn Wedding Speech Period. With special guest stars Jamison Bedison and the Chicken Ranch Rapper. Table 9 for Life!
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home