WINTER BREAKout! -- "Even I Get Boreded"

HA! Betcha thought I wouldn’t come back and actually DO one of these, didja?

Y’know, back when I wrote the first “Even I get Boreded” somewhere back in, I dunno, let’s go with June, I thought it would be a semi-regularly recurring part of the Kingdom. Seemed easy enough, I have random thoughts all the time. Then I realized the biggest problem with random thoughts: they’re random. If you don’t write them down, you forget them.

So I tried to carry around a little notebook I could write random thoughts in. You know, the GOOD ones, that when you have them, you’re like “I’ll NEVER forget that, I don’t need to write it—it’s too good.” So many really great poems have died that way, I assure you. So the problem is, I’d still not write them down. My cell phone has a ‘record’ function perfect for these little snippets- yet I never use it. So maybe my New Year’s Resolution (even though I don’t believe in them) will be to write more of these columns, which will mean I have to record more random thoughts more often. Who knows?

Of course, there’s also the fact that I got absolutely ZERO feedback on the first edition of this stuff.. so there’s that. Maybe my random thoughts aren’t that interesting? That would sadden me. It really would. If that’s the case—please don’t tell me. I don’t want this column to end up with the other dead-end failure ideas from the Kingdom, like the mailbag that never was. How sad. All I wanted was stupid mail to answer. Speaking of which—I’ve got a brand new email address. If you want it, email the old one, and I’ll tell you the new one. Ha!

Now, without further ado (and what IS ado?),

• I DIDN'T FORGET, I chose not to mention that The Team That Will Not be Named was AVENGED against the Team Full of Thugs and Murderers on Sunday. Thus, Screw You, Baltimore. Screw You. I can't wait 'till Pizz wears a Team That Will Not be Named t-shirt through the Aquarium in Baltymore on Saturday. Can't. Wait.

• I've been sitting on this for a LONG time, but I'm convinced that there's not a cooler food in the world to eat than an apple. Meaning, there's no food that you look cooler while eating. Think Danny Kaffe meeting Jo DemiMoore in her office for the first time. You just look COOL while eating an apple. It's like a prop. I'm certain red is best.

• I found some notes I took during the Boston trip I never wrote about, which included this classic quote, "I'm gonna be on that chocolate bunny like... .... ... LIKE A FAT KID ON A CHOCOLATE BUNNY!" and the words "champagne in a coffee mug." Good times.

• Okay, Bogna Calda- traditional Italian dipping sauce consisting of like, 126 lbs. melted butter, 300 garlic cloves, and anchovies. Perfect for dipping breads, vegetable (celery! yum) and seafood, especially shirmp. PURE. HEAVEN. Mom makes it every year on Christmas Eve. Adam ingests 6-10 stomach tablets every Christmas Day. Totally worth it.

• Lara recently informed me that lamb is baby sheep. I didn't care. It's good.

• Think about this for a minute: I was reading ESPN.com today, and some baseball GM noted that "it was the perfect storm of market conditions" which has led to a rash of really stupidly long/expensive free agent signings this year. My point is this. Did anyone EVER refer to a coalescing series of events amounting to a major situation as a "perfect storm" before the movie The Perfect Storm? I didn't think so. But has anyone even SEEN The Perfect Storm? Didn't think so, either. So how does everyone know this terminology? FROM THE TRAILER-- Shooter McGavin sits in front of a radar or something, and says, "blah blah blah..it's all coming together and combining..it's the Perfect Storm" So I submit to you: NO OTHER pop culture-influenced piece of the English language comes from a MOVIE TRAILER. That blows me away. Thanks, Shooter McGavin. Thanks.

• Christmas Eve, during the day, I watched, I shit you not: Jingle All the Way and Bring it On! Jingle on the Way: Vastly Underrated Christmas Movie that's clever and fun and funny. Bring it On!: Christmas present to Adam, from Adam. God blesses, Eliza Dushku.

• Allow me the honour of starting the Battlestar Galactica hype as of now. The series is getting MONSTER reviews (it's playing in the UK now) but doesn't come to SciFi until January. Be prepared for me to love this show. I adore the oldschool series, and the new movie from last winter was a great update of the old stuff. High geek coolness.

• Tonight, my Uncle Cary, Aunt Nancy, and their two kids Josiah and Grace (5 &2) come to visit. And they're living in my house for a few days. KIDS! in my house. Yikes. Hide the Playboys. (Which coincidentally, I already did.) Should be lots of fun, though.

• Do you think ANY TWO snowflakes, in the history of the WORLD have taken the exact same course from the sky to the ground? I think the law of averages somewhere like Greenland or Everest says 'yes.' Jeanie thinks 'no.' Thoughts?

• Finally, since I've not mentioned Bill Simmons in quite some time, allow me to give a shout out to 'the intern' who runs his ESPN website, and provides me with Daily Links every day. Here's the thing, he tells stories from time to time, and mentioned today that "This is my Space Camp" referring to something he'll only get one opportunity ever to do. My point? How many of you know that yours truly actually went to SpaceCamp during the sixth grade? No, really. I have a VHS tape of the experience and a blue astronaut suit and everything. Still have the t-shirt, too.
  

Okay, that oughta do it for now. Everybody take care, I'll talk to yinz tomorrow, I hope.

-apk