DAILY DOSE: "My Mind is Just a Crutch, and I Still Hope that You Will Miss Me When I'm Gone"

Good morning boys and girls, and welcome to the weekend. There’s a pretty good chance I might even step up today, and write you a “Weekend Pregame.” I know, I know, this is the Kingdom, Land of Broken Promises. I tried to write the Wal*Mart op-ed piece yesterday, but it really was just sort of falling apart at the seams. Methinks I need to re-draft. Which is odd, because I rarely do anything but write to you all through the magic of stream-of-conscious.

Anyhow, I think I’m going to actively work to keep the DOSEs shorter, so that I stop using them as an alternative/excuse to keep from writing for real. So here’s a quick story, and then YOUR Link (a DOOZY) and Song of the Day.

It’s 11am, and today is already frickin’ gangbusters (insert sarcasm here). Not only has one early-morning salutation of “have a good weekend” pretty much turned me against Friday in general, but I had to dress up for work today, and I feel old. You see, I stopped by the Seven-Eleven on Liberty Ave. today (gametime temperature: 29degrees + high winds.. wasn’t it 70 when I left work yesterday?) for some Wild Berry Poptarts and a Black Cherry Propel (both Officially Sanctioned Snack Foods of the Kingdom), when I noticed the “old enough to buy tobacco sign” is now ALL the way up to 1987. Hence, I feel old. In fact, I don’t know if there’s anything else I routinely encounter that makes me feel older.

Except, perhaps, for Rob. Rob is my boss’s son, and he’s a great kid. I think he’s 14 or 15, which means he was actually born in 1989 or 90. He’s a HS Sophomore, and it made me feel VERY old to realize that I was a HS Sophomore the last time the Team That Will Not Be Named made it to the Big Game at the End. Creepy. Plus, he was what, THREE, the last time the Pirates finished over .500. Again: Me = Old.

On the bright side, between Sam and Steve, the boys I babysat two summers ago, and now Rob, I find that I relate particularly well with adolescent boys. I think it has something to do with my affinity for ESPN, video games, and cartoons. Since I’ll never be married/ have kids, at least I can stand tall knowing full well that I’m pretty much going to be the best uncle of all time.

Okay, Link of the Day is AWESOME. Prepare to lose your jobs if you go there, because the game is so much fun, you’ll never stop playing. Warning, though- it has sound, so keep those speakers turned DOWN.

Your Song of the Day is the “The Last Song” by the All-American Rejects, because it woke me from my bus slumber. I was surprised to find a young woman sitting next to me there too! But was, of course, disappointed to find that I was not attracted to her. When her nose ring is her best feature, we’re struggling.

Back to work, and back to my search for my next ex-girlfriend. Perhaps I’ll post a questionnaire or something… would anyone find that even remotely entertaining? No one makes fun of me better than I do, right? I could have that up by the end of the day, if there’s enough (read: 1 request) demand for it.

So much for short Doses, eh?

If I’m not back later (but I probably will be with that questionnaire) have a great weekend, y’all, and enjoy the divisional playoffs. If anyone is interested in having fun tonight, you know how to reach me.

In the meantime, let the rain in Spain fall mainly on the plain
-apk