CAPITOL CHAOS! Part 1: "Oh, that's Humpty Dance...by Brooks and Dunn"

Before we get started, check THIS out. Does anyone else find it odd that Satan would take the time to save a turtle? And what about the snakes? One would think he owes serpents a favour or four, right?

Okay, on to the show. Your Song of the Day is “Float On” by Modest Mouse, off of my “Songs from Kujo” CD. The song, in actuality, is kinda dumb, but God Damn if it don’t get stuck in your head. This is the epitome of Perfectly Harmless Music.

This past weekend was particularly humdrum. I spent Friday recovering from a general feeling of exhaustion, watching the always-good Battlestar Galactica, as well as my just-purchased DVD of The Incredibles. Since buying the movie, I’ve watched “100 Mile Dash” about 10 times. God Bless Scene Selection. Saturday was a day to accomplish nothing, as I spent it on my couch eating pizza and watching movies with Aunt PK. Then I headed off to hang with Sprout and his alumni-friends, which was the usual good times/great oldies. Though it did lack chicken-cheesesteak goodness at the end of the night. Instead, I had to opt for my first-ever corndog. Odd that it’s taken me so long to eat one, based on my love of hotdogs and cornbread. I was not disappointed.

So, instead of boring you with more MVP 2005 virtual Pirates updates (though I just lost Mackowiak for 37 days with an arm fracture, DAMN YOU, GAMECUBE!), I’m finally going to talk about my trip to DC last weekend.

I had planned for some time to head to the nation’s capital towards the end of spring break, mainly because I haven’t really had much quality time hanging out with Kup since he moved out. Lucky for me (and my pocketbook), Pizz agreed to take advantage of his day off, as well, and we loaded up the Trail-Rated, Hem-Powered ‘Tus on Thursday afternoon.

The ride down was uneventful, though I learned that Kris has an uncanny knack for knowing the lyrics to basically every song in the universe. Years of driving delivery for his parents’ dental lab meant years of car-radio time, making him a two-legged cornucopia of nu-metal lyrics. One funny story, though. We were flipping through channels when we came across a country music station with a Deliliah-sounding lady taking requests. At this point, Kris decided that his disdain for country music was not overmatched by inherent hilarity of him calling and requesting a song. After formulating a plan together, he made the call. The actual phone conversation proceeded as follows:

Kris: Hi, I’d like to request a song, but I don’t know what it’s called…all I know is that it goes (singing obnoxiously) GET down, TURN AROUND, GO TO TOWN! Boot-Scoot-Boogie!

Perplexed Girl on the Line: Umm..that’s “Boot Scoot Boogie” by Brooks and Dunn…

Kris: Oh! Really, that’s great dear- can you play that for me?

Though the humour was probably just lost in translation, it was a pretty funny moment, that was compounded by the fact that the girl ASKED HIM IF HE WANTED TO TALK ABOUT BASEBALL WITH THE DJ ON THE AIR! Never wasting an opportunity, Kris quickly took advantage of the situation, and began telling the DJ lady how we were en route from PGH, and how his dad used to play for the Pirates….

..when his cell phone cut out.

Which sucked. But the entire shebang did kill about 20 minutes of the most boring drive in America. Oh..and it also spawned the weekend's first (of many) running gags. Namely, that from now on, when you don't know who sings a song, just pick four lyrics out of it, and say it's by...Brooks and Dunn. Another game that works much better in practise than in cyber-space. Give 'er a try!

When we finally arrived in Arlington, I parked the Stratus (where it would eventually be towed) and we finally met up with Kup in his dorm. His apartment complex was not unlike the Dickinson Law Dorms, if you’ve seen them, though his actual room was pretty nice and cozy. That night we met up Erin and Rob, two other PGH-Expatriots who I’ve not seen in a year, and missed quite a bit. We hung out, ate some chilli, and we watched “The Apprentice” for the first time. Though I was not impressed by the show, they apparently make a habit out of getting together for food and The Donald every Thursday. Who am I to Judge? I set my schedule around Enterprise and Battlestar Galactica. One humorous moment included The Donald incredulously talking about the utter-amazingness that it would be to spend a week on tour…With MOBY! If you’ve seen the episode in question, you probably laughed, too. If you haven’t. Your loss. Unintentional Comedy at it’s near-best.

Shortly thereafter, Kup, Pizz, and I grabbed a few brews, then headed to bed. It had been a long day for Pizz and I of school and driving, and Kup had to work in the morn. That’s seems like a good place to pause for station identification… I’ll be back sooner or later after a word from our sponsors.

In the meantime, take it easy, and if it’s easy—take it twice.

-apk