"Now I swear...the next one of you PRIMATES, even TOUCHES ME..."
Alright, you prmitive screw-heads, listen up! See this? This..is my BOOMSTICK! ...It's a twelve-gauge, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95, it's got a walnut stock, cobalt-blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right...shop smart. Shop, S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT??
-Ash
"Army of Darkness"
I am a dangerous man. Hit the trap-shooting range at Nemacolin yesterday with some co-workers and had a great time. Though my shoulder hurts like a bitch today, it was worth it, for I went 40-100, making me the Ted Williams of trap shooting. Considering my shooting experience is just a smidge about "nil" and is generally limited to a pump-action Daisy and Duck Hunt, I feel very strongly that I'm a natural sharpshooter. These are the cool things you occasionally get to do as a lawyer. Awesome, no?
If that doesn't suit your fancy, then perhaps you'll be interested in the A-M-A-Z-I-N-G dinner I had at Pittsburgh's swankiest good ol' boys club during a Bar Association dinner on Wednesday. It involved shrimp, filet, vegetables, and a double-baked potato that was filled with cheese and bacon. Incredible. It wasn't quite as good as the meal Chef Topshelf made for me at New York's Republican Club, but it was pretty damn close. The coolest part was during the "mingle" phase of the evening, where I started trading lines from, of all things, Wayne's World 2 with a young plaintiff's attorney. Goes to show you that lines like "Keith [Richards] cannot be killed by conventional weapons" can come in handy anywhere.
Though my billable requirements start in earnest on Monday, I think I'll stick to this lawyer-gig for a while.
Hail to king, baby.
-apk
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