DAILY DOSE: "It Never Leaves..."
Mills, one of my Little Brothers, runs this exceedingly lame "contest" on his IM profile where you have to name the sports movie quote. Though it's dorky as the day is long, I'll admit that my competitive side takes over every time I read a new quote, so in its own way, I guess it's a fun little game. I'm currently in second place. Anyway, last night he quoted from the DeNiro/Snipes suckfest known as The Fan. I can't say that I even remotely like this movie (even in a "guilty pleasure" kind of way), but I will admit that there are two lines that I find notoriously memorable, "I just stopped caring..." and "Hey, Bobby! Now do you care?" My point, and how this deals with Valentine's Day? Bear with me for another second or two...
Valentine's Day is, traditionally, one of those holidays that just happens for me. Crammed between my parents' anniversary (35 years strong, yesterday) and Z's birthday (26 years young, tomorrow), I always realize its coming, but rarely have anything to celebrate. In fact, I have only ever had what could very loosely be described as a "Valentine" on one solitary occasion. Hence, it's not one of my favorite holidays. (and let us not forget that it's an incredibly fake/manufactured holiday. why someone should need a special day to tell the person he loves that he loves him/her is beyond me, but, as usual, I digress).
Oddly enough though, this year, I never even saw it coming. It just sort of jumped up on me, as though I were searching for an In-and-Out Burger in Sacremento (yes, that was a fraternity inside joke). I'd like to say it was because the Stillers have just taken up so much of my attention that the last six weeks feel like they've flown by, but I know that's not the truth.
I think I've "just stopped caring."
Like Bobby Rayburn (Snipes in The Fan) before me, I've just stopped caring about relationships and love and all that jazz. To mix my sports movie similies, I'm like Ivan Drago, I fight " for me...FOR ME!" I'm thoroughly enjoying the single life these days. Though, like all people, I have my lonely moments, I'm more than busy enough to keep from thinking about it. Work takes up about a trillion hours a week, and then there's always something going on afterwards. (For instance, I live for Monday nights with Jerry and Nat, now). I must confess, though, that what I do miss is full, all-out companionship. Someone to watch 24 DVDs, go to the movies, talk comics/baseball, or just call up at a random hour and say, "wanna have a beer?" Partly because we're all so busy, but mostly because I moved too far outside the city, lack single friends, or lost my best friends, I'm just missing those "Go-to-People" that I thrive off of. And I guess that's kind of what I'll regret most about this Valentine's Day. Since this is the first time it hasn't bothered me to be single on V-Day, it'd be nice to have a krew to roll along and enjoy the day with. Perhaps next year.
All of that being said, I must honestly confess two more things: 1) I have no interest in trying for a girl right now. She's pretty much going to have to come to me, and make it the easiest sell for a relationship ever. And even then, I'll probably be too disinterested to put in much effort. Unless, of course, she's extraordinary. 2) Well, I'd love to try to say it cryptically, so I could at least convince myself I wasn't being "that guy," or even generally pathetic, but, really, who cares? I miss her. Terribly. Think about her every day.
I'm still fighting the good fight, to be certain. I'm still trying to keep my ducks in a row and keep heading in the right direction-- forward. But I find myself looking over my shoulder, so-to-speak, a little bit more every day. Maybe by finally saying something about it, I'll stop. Who knows?
The important thing is that now that Valentine's Day has arrived, I must fulfill the promise I made myself to invest in an XBox 360. It'll have to wait, though. I've got to get a new TV first, otherwise it's a waste; I've got three GameCube games to beat first; and I've got insurance and club bills to pay. Perhaps its time to find a Sugar Mama.
Anyway, that's about all I've got for you on Valentine's Day 2006. If you want something introspective or lovey-dovey, work your way over and Link to last year's post. I had a muse back then, and things were good. If you came looking for 24 Things I Think I Thought About Last Night's barnburner of 24, you'll have to come back later. My notes are back in the apartment. Song of the Day is "Waiting Game" by Yellowcard, which sounds and feels like the unofficial sequel to "Only One." Which today, seems to make sense.
For those of you lucky enough to have Valentine's Day plans, much love to you all. For the rest of you, no big deal. Cook yourself a nice dinner, drink some wine, and watch your favorite movie. Me? I'm probably going to pack for Scranton and watch 24 Season 2.
And maybe I'll start caring again sometime soon.
Happy Valentine's Day
-apk
two days until Pitchers & Catchers
Valentine's Day is, traditionally, one of those holidays that just happens for me. Crammed between my parents' anniversary (35 years strong, yesterday) and Z's birthday (26 years young, tomorrow), I always realize its coming, but rarely have anything to celebrate. In fact, I have only ever had what could very loosely be described as a "Valentine" on one solitary occasion. Hence, it's not one of my favorite holidays. (and let us not forget that it's an incredibly fake/manufactured holiday. why someone should need a special day to tell the person he loves that he loves him/her is beyond me, but, as usual, I digress).
Oddly enough though, this year, I never even saw it coming. It just sort of jumped up on me, as though I were searching for an In-and-Out Burger in Sacremento (yes, that was a fraternity inside joke). I'd like to say it was because the Stillers have just taken up so much of my attention that the last six weeks feel like they've flown by, but I know that's not the truth.
I think I've "just stopped caring."
Like Bobby Rayburn (Snipes in The Fan) before me, I've just stopped caring about relationships and love and all that jazz. To mix my sports movie similies, I'm like Ivan Drago, I fight " for me...FOR ME!" I'm thoroughly enjoying the single life these days. Though, like all people, I have my lonely moments, I'm more than busy enough to keep from thinking about it. Work takes up about a trillion hours a week, and then there's always something going on afterwards. (For instance, I live for Monday nights with Jerry and Nat, now). I must confess, though, that what I do miss is full, all-out companionship. Someone to watch 24 DVDs, go to the movies, talk comics/baseball, or just call up at a random hour and say, "wanna have a beer?" Partly because we're all so busy, but mostly because I moved too far outside the city, lack single friends, or lost my best friends, I'm just missing those "Go-to-People" that I thrive off of. And I guess that's kind of what I'll regret most about this Valentine's Day. Since this is the first time it hasn't bothered me to be single on V-Day, it'd be nice to have a krew to roll along and enjoy the day with. Perhaps next year.
All of that being said, I must honestly confess two more things: 1) I have no interest in trying for a girl right now. She's pretty much going to have to come to me, and make it the easiest sell for a relationship ever. And even then, I'll probably be too disinterested to put in much effort. Unless, of course, she's extraordinary. 2) Well, I'd love to try to say it cryptically, so I could at least convince myself I wasn't being "that guy," or even generally pathetic, but, really, who cares? I miss her. Terribly. Think about her every day.
I'm still fighting the good fight, to be certain. I'm still trying to keep my ducks in a row and keep heading in the right direction-- forward. But I find myself looking over my shoulder, so-to-speak, a little bit more every day. Maybe by finally saying something about it, I'll stop. Who knows?
The important thing is that now that Valentine's Day has arrived, I must fulfill the promise I made myself to invest in an XBox 360. It'll have to wait, though. I've got to get a new TV first, otherwise it's a waste; I've got three GameCube games to beat first; and I've got insurance and club bills to pay. Perhaps its time to find a Sugar Mama.
Anyway, that's about all I've got for you on Valentine's Day 2006. If you want something introspective or lovey-dovey, work your way over and Link to last year's post. I had a muse back then, and things were good. If you came looking for 24 Things I Think I Thought About Last Night's barnburner of 24, you'll have to come back later. My notes are back in the apartment. Song of the Day is "Waiting Game" by Yellowcard, which sounds and feels like the unofficial sequel to "Only One." Which today, seems to make sense.
For those of you lucky enough to have Valentine's Day plans, much love to you all. For the rest of you, no big deal. Cook yourself a nice dinner, drink some wine, and watch your favorite movie. Me? I'm probably going to pack for Scranton and watch 24 Season 2.
And maybe I'll start caring again sometime soon.
Happy Valentine's Day
-apk
two days until Pitchers & Catchers
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