24 Seconds about 24 (7:00pm -- 8:00pm)
Sorry that this one's late, I was putting it together when the last 48 hours just became One. Big. Distraction. Let's just say my first day in court is tomorrow. One other side story. On the way to a deposition yesterday north of the city, I drove past a block where in succession, I shit you not, was a Harley dealer, a Bar, and a Gun store. I love Pittsburgh.
Now, let's get it up:
24 Things I'm Pretty Sure I Considered While Trying to Decide If a Gael Could Beat a Saluki for my Annual Mascot Bracket
1) What's with the loudspeaker voice in CTU? Who the hell is talking to them? Is it the alarm? How does he have such good information? Not since Spaceballs has an alarm had such attitude. This guy was like, "Attention CTU, THIS IS THE VOICE OF GOD...they're DEAD-- they're ALL DEAD...and y'all are screwed."
2) Bill's by himself in the director's office? How didn't I notice this last week? Crap. He's dead. He's so dead. TC McQueen is dead, and I'm going to cry. This is worse than Starbuck's long hair.
3) The Big Centox Hocker of DOOM dripping down Deadgar's cadaver's chin is G.R.O.S.S.
4) No Virtual Nits game this week. (I know you are all heartbroken). Instead, Jerry and I were busy taking over the galaxy in the extremely awesome Star Wars: Battlefront II for the XBOX. I am incapable of explaining the awesomeness of this game in words. Maybe next week.
5) Just an observation: Every time Kim Bauer goes to CTU, something terrible happens. Let's recap:
Season 1: Terri Bauer dies.
Season 2: A bomb blows the living shit out of the office.
Season 3: I've not seen it. But I know that while working there, Rian Chappelle dies and Her Boyfriend Chase has his arm cut off. I blame Kim
Season 4: No Kim. Oddly, nothing bad happens to CTU, other than that crazy daughter committing suicide. No big loss.
Season 5: Centox gas kills everybody.
Thanks for being awesome, Kim.
6) Time to play everybody's favorite game show! (presumably for the last time)
WHO'S THE BIGGER P*$$# ??
Contestant No. 1: POTUS: consistently bitched by his own wife, can't handle pressure.
Contestant No. 2: Linn McGill: bitched by a redshirt? redshirts don't talk!
it's Linn with the early lead!
7) YES! Anthony T. Almeida, Toughnuts with SDK's own DEEP. BOLIVIAN. SLUMBER! Time to Exact Bloody Vengeance!
8) damn. great writing-- Jack to Tony "I know how you feel".
even. better. directing-- that cool unfocus/focus! shot of Kim looking over to Jack as he said it. tremendous.
9) Woah. If that's really the logo for the Dep. of Homeland Security, it's AWESOME. Go Bromberg.
10) Ahh, President Exposition, why don't you catch everyone up: "There are terrorists with nerve gas!" "That was their deal!" "We've got nerve gas all over the city and we don't know where they are!" ...thanks for clearing that all up. dork.
11) Anyone ever "swallow some salt water" like the VP suggests? I've only been to the ocean a handful of times, and I can attest that swallowing salt water sucks.
12) Jack: PLEASE. KILL .THE SHRINK. He's earned it.
13) YES! Is Jack Bauer gonna have to choke a bitch?
14) I am BEYOND TIRED of this President/First Lady/ Vice President/ Mike Novick Merry-Go-Round of boringness. It's so tedious, it makes me want to root for the terrorists.
15) Sweet. If I've said it once, I've said it 100 times-- the only living thing that Jack Bauer cares about is Kim Bauer. And that's why Jack's a True Champion. I mean, faced with certain death, he didn't think twice, and he didn't ask anyone else to go, didn't even entertain the thought. Nope. Jack's going. And the only thing he's worried about is how it's his only chance to save his little girl.
16) Jack just used duct tape. He's channelling his inner McGyver.
17) Jack Fact: he can hold his breath for 492 seconds. This should be a cakewalk.
18) Classic Chole line. "What's with you and the breathing"...I would've paid real money for her to finish with " my solution to everything is being a bitch."
19) Who has two thumbs and called Holding Room 4 at 10:02 last week? This guy! Save us, Samwise.
20) More great shit as Jack goes from "I feel for you" to "i'm going to spend your last five minutes of life putting you in your place" when Harry the Redshirt's "that's easy for you to say" is countered with a Bauerian, "it's not easy for me to say."
21) Jerry: "I can't believe Harry's gonna die..I developed such a liking for him."
apk: "That's what happens when they let redshirts talk."
22) The M. Night commerical is the first good AMEX one. I can honestly say I didn't have a goddamn clue what that thing was about the first time i saw it.
23) "I love you too daddy" ..."bye baby girl." harsh. Obviously, natalie never cleans, cuz it's getting a little dusty 'round here.
24) Just gloriously incredible music while Linn saves the day. RU-DY! RU-DY! RU-DY! RU-DY!
uh oh..another great Episode means MORE OVERTIME!
25) Jack is all kinds of torn up? This is intense. He's nearly re-becoming human after everything he's gone through...this is incredibly captivating...and thatsmygirl! Audrey, with the hand-hold...she's so perfect for him!
26) Honestly, Kim Sucks, but you can't blame her for being all, "every time I'm around you, bad things happen." It's the troof baby-bay-bee.
27) It's been 35 minutes since the last POTUS sighting..let's just say I'm not disappointed... OH MY GOD. we have a winner in the "Bigger P&#*$&" Contest. "...i {wahhh} can't {wahhh} take it {wahhh} anymore {wahhh} Martha" Ladies and Gentleman, President Charles Logan.
28) Woah. Let's take a moment to recognize the importance of two words: Russian Thong.
29) As for the Russian Amazon Warrior in a Thong, I can't believe her name is "Colette" I had even money on "Natasha."
30) FRAK! Homeland Security is taking over! this is going to SUCK.
31) I love that JB didn't even bother saying "you're welcome" to Barry the Douchey Shrink. Instead, he just rolls with a hearty "get the frak out"
32) Tony is the MAN, "No..but i'll feel better" JB: "no you wont" TA: "you're probably right -- i'll let you know." Great stuff...
33) DIAMOND CUTTER MOMENT: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ROBOCOP NEEDLED TONY! ROBOCOP NEEDLED TONY!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!
34) ...she's gone, Jack... damn.
35) Jack's LOSING it. I haven't seen him like this since he thought Kim was dead. And we all know how that turned out for the Drazen clan. Good luck to Robocop, now.
36) WHERE THE HELL IS TONY'S SILENT CLOCK? ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? DEADGAR GETS A SILENT CLOCK, AND FREAKIN TONY ALMEIDA, WHO'S LIKE, ONE OF FOUR GUYS TO BE IN EVERY SEASON, DOESN'T GET A SILENT CLOCK???? TRAVESTY.
Other than the hosejob of Tony's character, and the fact that we're quickly running out of established characters (I count Jack, Audrey, Bill, Chloe, Kim, & POTUS as the only ones left) I can't decide if this makes for a good storyline, or just a ridiculous level of stunt deaths...all I know is that i'm most definitely along for the ride.
See yinz next week
-apk
Now, let's get it up:
24 Things I'm Pretty Sure I Considered While Trying to Decide If a Gael Could Beat a Saluki for my Annual Mascot Bracket
1) What's with the loudspeaker voice in CTU? Who the hell is talking to them? Is it the alarm? How does he have such good information? Not since Spaceballs has an alarm had such attitude. This guy was like, "Attention CTU, THIS IS THE VOICE OF GOD...they're DEAD-- they're ALL DEAD...and y'all are screwed."
2) Bill's by himself in the director's office? How didn't I notice this last week? Crap. He's dead. He's so dead. TC McQueen is dead, and I'm going to cry. This is worse than Starbuck's long hair.
3) The Big Centox Hocker of DOOM dripping down Deadgar's cadaver's chin is G.R.O.S.S.
4) No Virtual Nits game this week. (I know you are all heartbroken). Instead, Jerry and I were busy taking over the galaxy in the extremely awesome Star Wars: Battlefront II for the XBOX. I am incapable of explaining the awesomeness of this game in words. Maybe next week.
5) Just an observation: Every time Kim Bauer goes to CTU, something terrible happens. Let's recap:
Season 1: Terri Bauer dies.
Season 2: A bomb blows the living shit out of the office.
Season 3: I've not seen it. But I know that while working there, Rian Chappelle dies and Her Boyfriend Chase has his arm cut off. I blame Kim
Season 4: No Kim. Oddly, nothing bad happens to CTU, other than that crazy daughter committing suicide. No big loss.
Season 5: Centox gas kills everybody.
Thanks for being awesome, Kim.
6) Time to play everybody's favorite game show! (presumably for the last time)
WHO'S THE BIGGER P*$$# ??
Contestant No. 1: POTUS: consistently bitched by his own wife, can't handle pressure.
Contestant No. 2: Linn McGill: bitched by a redshirt? redshirts don't talk!
it's Linn with the early lead!
7) YES! Anthony T. Almeida, Toughnuts with SDK's own DEEP. BOLIVIAN. SLUMBER! Time to Exact Bloody Vengeance!
8) damn. great writing-- Jack to Tony "I know how you feel".
even. better. directing-- that cool unfocus/focus! shot of Kim looking over to Jack as he said it. tremendous.
9) Woah. If that's really the logo for the Dep. of Homeland Security, it's AWESOME. Go Bromberg.
10) Ahh, President Exposition, why don't you catch everyone up: "There are terrorists with nerve gas!" "That was their deal!" "We've got nerve gas all over the city and we don't know where they are!" ...thanks for clearing that all up. dork.
11) Anyone ever "swallow some salt water" like the VP suggests? I've only been to the ocean a handful of times, and I can attest that swallowing salt water sucks.
12) Jack: PLEASE. KILL .THE SHRINK. He's earned it.
13) YES! Is Jack Bauer gonna have to choke a bitch?
14) I am BEYOND TIRED of this President/First Lady/ Vice President/ Mike Novick Merry-Go-Round of boringness. It's so tedious, it makes me want to root for the terrorists.
15) Sweet. If I've said it once, I've said it 100 times-- the only living thing that Jack Bauer cares about is Kim Bauer. And that's why Jack's a True Champion. I mean, faced with certain death, he didn't think twice, and he didn't ask anyone else to go, didn't even entertain the thought. Nope. Jack's going. And the only thing he's worried about is how it's his only chance to save his little girl.
16) Jack just used duct tape. He's channelling his inner McGyver.
17) Jack Fact: he can hold his breath for 492 seconds. This should be a cakewalk.
18) Classic Chole line. "What's with you and the breathing"...I would've paid real money for her to finish with " my solution to everything is being a bitch."
19) Who has two thumbs and called Holding Room 4 at 10:02 last week? This guy! Save us, Samwise.
20) More great shit as Jack goes from "I feel for you" to "i'm going to spend your last five minutes of life putting you in your place" when Harry the Redshirt's "that's easy for you to say" is countered with a Bauerian, "it's not easy for me to say."
21) Jerry: "I can't believe Harry's gonna die..I developed such a liking for him."
apk: "That's what happens when they let redshirts talk."
22) The M. Night commerical is the first good AMEX one. I can honestly say I didn't have a goddamn clue what that thing was about the first time i saw it.
23) "I love you too daddy" ..."bye baby girl." harsh. Obviously, natalie never cleans, cuz it's getting a little dusty 'round here.
24) Just gloriously incredible music while Linn saves the day. RU-DY! RU-DY! RU-DY! RU-DY!
uh oh..another great Episode means MORE OVERTIME!
25) Jack is all kinds of torn up? This is intense. He's nearly re-becoming human after everything he's gone through...this is incredibly captivating...and thatsmygirl! Audrey, with the hand-hold...she's so perfect for him!
26) Honestly, Kim Sucks, but you can't blame her for being all, "every time I'm around you, bad things happen." It's the troof baby-bay-bee.
27) It's been 35 minutes since the last POTUS sighting..let's just say I'm not disappointed... OH MY GOD. we have a winner in the "Bigger P&#*$&" Contest. "...i {wahhh} can't {wahhh} take it {wahhh} anymore {wahhh} Martha" Ladies and Gentleman, President Charles Logan.
28) Woah. Let's take a moment to recognize the importance of two words: Russian Thong.
29) As for the Russian Amazon Warrior in a Thong, I can't believe her name is "Colette" I had even money on "Natasha."
30) FRAK! Homeland Security is taking over! this is going to SUCK.
31) I love that JB didn't even bother saying "you're welcome" to Barry the Douchey Shrink. Instead, he just rolls with a hearty "get the frak out"
32) Tony is the MAN, "No..but i'll feel better" JB: "no you wont" TA: "you're probably right -- i'll let you know." Great stuff...
33) DIAMOND CUTTER MOMENT: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ROBOCOP NEEDLED TONY! ROBOCOP NEEDLED TONY!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!
34) ...she's gone, Jack... damn.
35) Jack's LOSING it. I haven't seen him like this since he thought Kim was dead. And we all know how that turned out for the Drazen clan. Good luck to Robocop, now.
36) WHERE THE HELL IS TONY'S SILENT CLOCK? ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? DEADGAR GETS A SILENT CLOCK, AND FREAKIN TONY ALMEIDA, WHO'S LIKE, ONE OF FOUR GUYS TO BE IN EVERY SEASON, DOESN'T GET A SILENT CLOCK???? TRAVESTY.
Other than the hosejob of Tony's character, and the fact that we're quickly running out of established characters (I count Jack, Audrey, Bill, Chloe, Kim, & POTUS as the only ones left) I can't decide if this makes for a good storyline, or just a ridiculous level of stunt deaths...all I know is that i'm most definitely along for the ride.
See yinz next week
-apk
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home