I WILL HEADBUTT YOU IN THE STERNUM!!!!

Thanks to a crazy-ass Frenchman (who chose the most simultaneously stupid/awesome way to 'head' into retirement), I have replaced the Burgundy-like "I will punch you in the ovary!" with "I WILL HEADBUTT YOU IN THE STERNUM!" as my new i am pretending to be mad at you right now! line. Hossum.  The NFL equivalent of going out like would be Jerome Bettis shooting a Seahawk, The Last Boy Scout style, during the Super Bowl.

I'll admit it, I became enthralled by the World Cup Final yesterday.  I can't believe it, either. Especially considering the two teams couldn't be less likable. 

The Flopmaster Italians v. The French.  I even rooted for the floopers. ah well. Thatsa-spicy-a-meatball!

Mario and Luigi, rejoice!

seriously, though. Ending the World Cup on freaking penalty kicks is beyond stupid.  In short:  the Italians didn't win because their Keeper made a save. Nope. The Italians won because Le Goat Franciase hit the crossbar. Oops. Anyone else realize that the French Keeper actually played better in the shootout than the Italian? And by better I mean, "He guessed correctly and futility dove in the same direction as the ball more often."  This is akin to having a "empty net shootout from centre ice" to decide the Stanley Cup or "Groundball Derby" to end the World Series.  Would it have upset anyone in the universe if, after two 15 minute OT periods, the game was decided within the confines of GOLDEN GOAL sudden death?

Didn't think so. I can officially run FIFA better than FIFA, and I don't even know what FIFA stands for.

So there. Can we all go back to hating/being indiffernt about soccer? World Cup furor is no different than me getting excited about women's gymnastics every 4 years. Nationalism is the only thing that sells better than sex. It's true, it's true.

If you'll excuse me, I have an All-Star Break to get back to.
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