FRIDAY PREGAME: "Today's the day the teddy bears have their piccccc-nic!"
Welcome back, your dreams were your ticket out,
Why yes, I've returned for YOUR Friday Pregame, and WHAT a weekend it's threatening to be.
First, in only a matter of hours, I'll have a haircut and Nic will be in town! Why yes, my bestest of friends has answered the call to duty, yet again, and will be my featured date in a THIRD wedding. I'm pretty certain that if my friends didn't know better, they'd be convinced we're married or something. We plan on meeting Jeanie for dinner tonight, then hittin' the underbelly of the 'Burgh for some fine boozation. Call if you're interested in tagging along. Tomorrow is the long-overdue wedding of Jon and Jackie, who've been together for something ridiculous like, i dunno, 19 years. It seems like only yesterday (or seventh grade) that Jon had a crush on AliMac, now look at him: marrying off to the apple of his eye, the fantastical Jackie, who may just be the sweetest girl I've ever known. Congratulations! kids! And thanks for making me feel that much older... and single. ..Dammit. ;)
Sunday is Stillers v. the Not Really the Browns, and as previously explained, if the Stillers lose, I'm going to have to kill Jeanie. So root for Big Ben!
And by the end of the weekend, the Cards and Sox will almost certainly advance to their respective LCS, while the Houston/Atlanta and (especially) the Yankees/Twins series are proving to be worth the price of admission. Should be an AWESOME weekend for baseball. (Unless you live in Southern Cali.)
And now, for a little story...
The other night, Kup and I were watching some baseball when a commercial break exposed us to the LAMEST CHARITY DRIVE OF ALL TIME.
Comcast cable is apparently sponsoring a teddy bear drive. (Insert "awwwww" cuteness expression here). However, this is no ordinary teddy bear drive, no. Instead, their collecting teddy bears to give to every emergency response vehichle (ie: firetrucks, police cars, ambulances) in the tri-state area. And why is that? Well, they are sponsoring the noble cause of making sure that if a child is at the scene of a tragedy, he or she will be able to be immediately comforted by Teddy Ruxbin.
Imagine the following exchange:
Child: waaaah! waaah! waah!
Policeman: What's wrong, little fella?
Child: waaaah! that's my house burning down...waaah!
Policeman: Oh, everything will be okay, the firemen are taking care of it..
Child: waaah! waaah! but all my stuff! my gamecube is gone! waaah!
Policeman: Oh, don't worry-- here take this..
Child: waaah! but my (sobs) my dog, Sparky was in there..
Policeman: It's okay, have a teddy bear!
Child: But... (sobs) my... my mom was in there... waaah!
Policeman: ....shit. ...f*ckin' Comcast.
anyone else think that a Teddy Bear Picnic is not always the answer? More importantly, though, and this just hit me.. what if it IS.
We could airdrop Teddy Bears into Iraq!
We could give the Palestinians an Israeli Teddy Bear, and give the Israelis a Palestinian Teddy Bear!
Red Sox fans could be given Curse-Free Teddy Bears!
That's it! That's what the world needs! The Beatles said all you need is love, well, they were WRONG. All you need is aTEDDY BEAR!!
Okay, I've got to run, I've got to write my Congressman and save the planet, one Teddy Bear at a time!
enjoy the weekend!
-apk
Why yes, I've returned for YOUR Friday Pregame, and WHAT a weekend it's threatening to be.
First, in only a matter of hours, I'll have a haircut and Nic will be in town! Why yes, my bestest of friends has answered the call to duty, yet again, and will be my featured date in a THIRD wedding. I'm pretty certain that if my friends didn't know better, they'd be convinced we're married or something. We plan on meeting Jeanie for dinner tonight, then hittin' the underbelly of the 'Burgh for some fine boozation. Call if you're interested in tagging along. Tomorrow is the long-overdue wedding of Jon and Jackie, who've been together for something ridiculous like, i dunno, 19 years. It seems like only yesterday (or seventh grade) that Jon had a crush on AliMac, now look at him: marrying off to the apple of his eye, the fantastical Jackie, who may just be the sweetest girl I've ever known. Congratulations! kids! And thanks for making me feel that much older... and single. ..Dammit. ;)
Sunday is Stillers v. the Not Really the Browns, and as previously explained, if the Stillers lose, I'm going to have to kill Jeanie. So root for Big Ben!
And by the end of the weekend, the Cards and Sox will almost certainly advance to their respective LCS, while the Houston/Atlanta and (especially) the Yankees/Twins series are proving to be worth the price of admission. Should be an AWESOME weekend for baseball. (Unless you live in Southern Cali.)
And now, for a little story...
The other night, Kup and I were watching some baseball when a commercial break exposed us to the LAMEST CHARITY DRIVE OF ALL TIME.
Comcast cable is apparently sponsoring a teddy bear drive. (Insert "awwwww" cuteness expression here). However, this is no ordinary teddy bear drive, no. Instead, their collecting teddy bears to give to every emergency response vehichle (ie: firetrucks, police cars, ambulances) in the tri-state area. And why is that? Well, they are sponsoring the noble cause of making sure that if a child is at the scene of a tragedy, he or she will be able to be immediately comforted by Teddy Ruxbin.
Imagine the following exchange:
Child: waaaah! waaah! waah!
Policeman: What's wrong, little fella?
Child: waaaah! that's my house burning down...waaah!
Policeman: Oh, everything will be okay, the firemen are taking care of it..
Child: waaah! waaah! but all my stuff! my gamecube is gone! waaah!
Policeman: Oh, don't worry-- here take this..
Child: waaah! but my (sobs) my dog, Sparky was in there..
Policeman: It's okay, have a teddy bear!
Child: But... (sobs) my... my mom was in there... waaah!
Policeman: ....shit. ...f*ckin' Comcast.
anyone else think that a Teddy Bear Picnic is not always the answer? More importantly, though, and this just hit me.. what if it IS.
We could airdrop Teddy Bears into Iraq!
We could give the Palestinians an Israeli Teddy Bear, and give the Israelis a Palestinian Teddy Bear!
Red Sox fans could be given Curse-Free Teddy Bears!
That's it! That's what the world needs! The Beatles said all you need is love, well, they were WRONG. All you need is aTEDDY BEAR!!
Okay, I've got to run, I've got to write my Congressman and save the planet, one Teddy Bear at a time!
enjoy the weekend!
-apk
1 Comments:
I just want you to know, I saw you at the wedding, and you were the best looking guy there. Hope to see you soon!
By
Anonymous, at 9:08 PM, October 11, 2004
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