MONDAY HANGOVER: "Graceful Swans of Never Topple to the Earth"

I’ll tell you what, folks, OnDemand just keeps getting better and better. While hanging out at the Knor Hacienda last Thursday night, I stumbled across FUSE and Much Music OnDemand, which offered a bevy of music videos at my fingertips, both old and new. There wasn’t that eclectic of a collection of artists, but it was a start. In fact, I think they offered just about every Green Day video ever made, meaning I got to check out “Redundant” instead of the oh-so-annoying “Boulevard of Broken Dreams,” which seems to play on MTV Hits every 17 minutes. But I digress, the best part was checking out the free concerts, which I took full advantage of, as I stayed up until somewhere around 3am watching a Keane concert. Good stuff.

The weekend continued into Friday, when Gooder arrived home from school in time to play a little MVP with me, before he, dad, and I headed over to the firehall for a fish fry.

While waiting in the Fish Fry Staging Area, I received a phone call from Jeanie that featured the following exchange:

J: Where are you, a bar?

A: Nope, I’m at the firehall, I’m here for fish dinner with my dad and brother.

J: What’s a firehall? Is that like, a restaurant?

A: You’re kidding, right?

J: No, what’s a firehall?

A: It’s where the fire dept. keeps all their trucks, with a social hall built over it…it’s Lent, so they’re having a fish dinner as a fundraiser. You’ve really never heard of a firehall?

J: No, seriously, this is all very strange.

And there you have it. Is the concept of a firehall really that foreign? I know she grew up in a development in Ohio, but are firehalls and fish frys strictly Western PA hick-flare? Am I even more of a town mouse than I realized? If so, cool—the food was great! They had seafood bisque, clam chowder, “lobster” ravioli, and much, much more. God bless, Madison, PA.

Afterwards, I settled in for a little Enterprise and Galactica, both of which were exceedingly good. Unfortunately, Galactica’s season ends this Friday, and Enterprise ends, forever, next month. However, I’m CERTAIN that Galactica will re-air all summer, heading into the second season that starts in July. So y’all can play catch-up and get to know this fantastic show.

After I had received my sci-fi fix, I headed over to Bill’s house where he, Drew, Pizz, and I partook in one of our most time-honored tradtions: FIREBALL ISLAND. Easily the Greatest Board Game Ever Created by Mortal Man in the History of the Known Universe, FI is a game of strategery, wits, a 3D playing board, and marbles pretending they're fireballs. The object is to traverse the jungle, capture the jewl, and get off the island alive before anyone else. Sounds easy, no? Well, not when the vaguely-written loophole-filled rulebook falls into the hands of ultra-competitive twentysomethings. A game of FI always features backstabbing, betrayal, treachery, and duplicity, with a strong dose of shit-talking and outwitting. Best. Game. EVER. SOMEONE out there has to have played it at some point, right?

This round's winner was Drew, who outlasted Bill and Kris at the very end. Stuck in Cave 2 for most of the game, I sold my soul to satan your grace, and used my playing cards to get Drew the ‘W.’ It instantly pissed Kris off, because we “always help each other out.” He’s just a baby.

We then moved on to Trivial Pursuit Pop Culture Edition, where somehow, someway, Drew, Bill, and the recently-added Wilbur defeated Kris and I not once, but twice, including an incredible Red Soxian-like comeback (or Yankees-level choke job on our part, if you like) from being down 6 pieces to 1. Once I lost at Jean’s house the next night, it meant that I dropped 3 Trivial Pursuit contests in two days. This is an unprecedented losing streak for me, meaning two things: 1) Hell has frozen and over; (And thus) 2) I’m about to get a girlfriend (you know, cuz Hel has frozen over). Sweet.

So yeah, Saturday I headed back to the ‘burgh for a party at Jean’s. Her sister was in town, and since I never met her, I was more than willing to make the trip. The night’s festivities included and easter egg hunt through her apartment, easter-egg dying (which I had not done in YEARS), and turning “Shrek Operation” into a drinking game. Sadly, Operation is about ten-times easier once you’ve passed puberty and are actually dexterious. But it was still fun. Before losing the aforementioned Trivial Pursuit game, we watched some ridiculous old school Oliver-family movies, which were too funny to detail here without express written consent from Major League Baseball, and Jeanette herself. Good times, though.

Easter was positively chill and boring. When Easter’s earlier than the baseball season, it makes the trip to grandma’s that much more boring, because there’s no game to watch. I did take in a little soccer with Chris, and though intrigued, was basically lost. I'll stick with America’s past time. The night wound down at my parents’ house, where dad and I watched “the Sum of All Fears” (nothing commemorates the resurrection of the lord like watching Baltimore get nuked). Verdict: “Meh.” Although, I hope that the Patriots were playing the Ravens when the bomb went off. Also, I hope Nic got out alive. Other than that, whatever. If there’s any city that could use a little urban renewal…

One last thing before I go apply for the Bar Exam: JOIN FANTASTY BASEBALL! I’ve got about five of yinz already, but let’s see whatchu ladies can do. This means YOU, KLE!

Now to answer some mail/posts:

-Kupper, nice to see you coming back around to the Kingdom, hope you return.

-Lauren, the place was “Murphy’s” I believe, in Old Town (which I think really should spell itself “Olde Towne.” But that’s just me)

-KLE, it’s nice to see that we FINALLY agree on something, namely: Sammy Sosa.

Finally, the Link of the Day will take you to the newest installment of things I like to call "Sports Columns that Shit on Barry Bonds, which is Okay by Me, Because I Hate Barry Bonds." It's by Skip Bayless of ESPN, who, though INCREDIBLY FRAKKING TERRIBLE AND ANNOYING ON TV, is one HELL of a writer. Your Song of the Day is "Thirty Three" by the Smashing Pumpkins, which appears on Jeanie's "Mix 4 Adam" Album, and will forever remind me of a rather intriguing Saturday evening. Download it. Live it. Learn it. Love it.

Okay, folks, be goode to each other, I’ll be back around sooner or later to put the finishing touches on the DC story. In the meantime, post comments, send mail, raise hell, partake in shenanegins, I don’t care. Although, email would be sweet- then I could do a ‘mailbag’ post. That would be fun.

Later
-apk