If I can be political for a minute...

The Duke Lacrosse rape charges have been dropped. I think it would be entirely appropriate for those students that created the huge "Please Come Forward" team picture posters, and then plastered them all around campus (intrisically linking every Duke Lacrosse player to words "alleged rapist") should be expelled and sued.

But that's just me.

thanks for playing, now back to you regular irrelevant content.

-apk

"Until they invent a Porsche..." Indeed.

The following was posted on WizardUniverse.com today. Wizard is People Magazine of comics resources and geek pop culture. Anyway, the coolest thing about this list? I owned or played with 8 of the top 10.  This list reminded of a couple of things:

1) there will never be a toy greater than the Uss Flagg
2) I would kill a mn to get to play with the aircraft carrier for a day
3) The AT-AT toy was badass, as was the Terror Drome and Snake Mountain
4) I can't believe the Millenium Falcon did not make this list
5) I actually paid a kid $20 bucks for the connectible Voltron playset when I was a SENIOR in High School
6)  I totally forgot that the Proton Pack came equipped with that Big Yellow Foam Beam of Doom that you attached to the end, just so you could "cross the streams" (even though crossing the streams is "Bad".). Gooder and I used to use the foam pieces as lightsabres. My brother is awesome.
7)  Super Mario 1, Metroid, Contra, Punch Out!, Mega Man, Zelda, Bases Loaded II. Two words:  Murder's Row.  The NES (i actually perfer is Japanese name: FamiCom) rules.
8) By God, the Defiant was Awesome. I want to know who at Hasbro was like, "Frak it-- let's give them TWO space shuttles in one!"
9)  Terror Drome v. the Mobile Command Center. My old friend JR and I had a lot of battles that came down to that.  Normally, Rolling Thunder would be taken out by the Raven, which would in turn be destroyed by the Phantom X-19 Stealth Fighter. Only then would the Mobile Command Center take the battle right to Cobra's front door.
10) Being a kid in the 80s was somewhere near 169,000 times cooler than being a kid in any other era.  We had technology and cool toys without PC crap, but mega violent and often cheesy TV.

SWEET CHRISTMAS The 10 Greatest Xmas Gifts of All Time (or at least the 1980s) By Jed Resnik Kids today with your eBay… When we were kids, we couldn't pre-order things online. Our parents had to travel from store to store with their fingers crossed. And there was always that one present that only the luckiest kids would get and, subsequently, rub all their friends' faces in. As we prepare ourselves for yet another holiday season of boring adult gifts, we look back fondly to the ten most kick-ass items any kid ever found sticking out beneath their Christmas trees.

10 G1 Optimus Prime (Transformers) Released: 1984 How difficult was it to explain to your parents that you want an action figure that's also a toy truck? But it was worth it when you unwrapped this bad boy—by far the coolest Transformer in that first wave of G1 figures. Sure, better versions of Optimus have come out since, and other Transformers eventually took his place as the biggest and coolest, but back before anyone really knew what a Decepticon was, this was just one of the coolest toys to ever hit American shelves.

9 Nintendo Entertainment System (Nintendo) Released (in the U.S.): 1985 Okay, so PS3 it ain't. But the NES was still light years ahead of Atari and ColecoVision. Once you got an NES, your grades dropped and you gained weight, as you couldn't avoid spending hours each day playing Super Mario Bros., The Legend of Zelda and Metroid, a lineup that's still today among the best games on any system. Nintendo made us more stupider, sure, but happier too.

8 Proton Pack and Ghost Trap (The Real Ghostbusters) Released: 1987 1984's Ghostbusters was such a blockbuster, a cartoon version followed in 1986. (The Real Ghostbusters, still a favorite around the ToyFare offices.) And with the 'toon came toys, and not only action figures but this: the role-play item we always wanted. With these two super-sweet pieces of hardware, no kid wasn't ain't afraid of no ghost. Either.

7 Cobra Terrordrome with Firebat (G.I. Joe) Released: 1986 Everyone knows bad guys are cooler than good guys. So one of the coolest G.I. Joe bases had to be Cobra's main digs—the Terrordrome. Not only did it feature all sorts of awesome gun turrets (which were fated to never, ever hit their targets), it also launched a freakin' Firebat plane right out of the middle of the joint! If you were a kid and you unwrapped this, you practically trampled your parents to start playing with it.

6 Trypticon (Transformers) Released: 1986 Most Transformers only had two modes, but Trypticon had three…and one of them was Decepticon City! He could also be a battle station or an enormous Tyrannosaurus Rex! And a battery-operated motor allowed the 15-inch dino-bot to actually walk, make noises and light up! That's a lot of bells and whistles, but did we mention he could transform into AN ENTIRE CITY? 'Cause he could.

5 Castle Greyskull (He-Man and the Masters of the Universe) Released: 1981 Whereas nowadays you can whip out your $400 Sidekick 3 to impress your peers, in 1981 this was the schoolyard status symbol. A trap door! An elevator! A flag! A drawbridge with teeth! And you could fold it up for safe storage! Some schoolyard bad boys opted for Skeletor's Snake Mountain (which had an echoing microphone!), but the rest of us lusted for Casa de Teela.

4 Defiant Space Shuttle Complex (G.I. Joe) Released: 1987 G.I. Joe long fought Cobra on land, sea and air, but in 1987, Hasbro brought the fight to outer space! Why would Cobra be in outer space? Who cares? This weighty playset came with a bunch of removable vehicles, plus two Joes to man 'em. Hours of fun…and that's just the assembly! More than just a vehicle, this was like a playset, two vehicles and two scoops of awesome rolled into one!

3 The Deluxe Lion Set (Voltron III: Defender of the Universe) Released: 1984 There were car Voltrons and helicopter Voltrons, but the money Voltron was the Lion Force—five die-cast jungle kings that connected to form the gigantic titular universe defender. This toy was huge, made of metal and could take the form of either a giant robot with a sword or five robotic carnivores. Best of all, the lions were also sold individually, so while suckers were getting the single-packs, you felt like king of Christmas when you unwrapped the Deluxe set.

2 AT-AT Walker (The Empire Strikes Back) Released: 1981 The toy so nice they released it thrice! Why not? The All Terrain Armored Transports figured into two of the awesomest battle scenes in cinematic history, and this toy was cool enough and gigantic enough (over 17 inches tall!) that anyone who brought it to playtime instantly became king of the schoolyard. Unfortunately, few parents loved their kids enough to buy a $50 toy in 1981.

1 U.S.S. Flagg Aircraft Carrier (G.I. Joe) Released: 1985 Here it is…the greatest gift to ever be unwrapped by a child. Larger than most children, there was no way to hide this Joe base under a Christmas tree. Until they invent a Porsche you can give a seven-year-old, there may never be a finer Christmas gift. Plus, as a bonus, this gigantic expenditure of plastic was so big there was no way it could ever be taken out of the house, so any kid that got one suddenly found his house the center of the universe for all the G.I. Joe fans in his school. Instant popularity, and a working microphone? Yo, Joe indeed…

Merry Christmas!
-apk

Happy Holidays, and such.

Hey kids,

Just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Holiday Season. Once I regroup after some much needed down time, i...umm.. who am i kiddin? Here's hoping I write more in 2007.  Sorry I suck.

You know what doesn't suck, though? Rocky Balboa. Really freakin' good. A genuinely perfect ending to Rocky's story.  Beautiful. Little. Movie.  Really, all the bombast and glitz of Rockys III-V has been stripped away, and we're taken back to everything that was great about the original. It made me want to write about it-- so maybe over Christmas. We'll see.

In other movie news, I just learned that, not only will this summer feature Transformers (looks pretty cool) Pirates 3 (anxiously anticipated), Shrek the Third (sweet) and Spidey 3 (CAN'T. WAIT.), but we also get Ocean's 13 (yes!).  Though I felt that 12 was a little too pretentiously pretentious at times, I really love 11, and the trailer's got me excited.  Throw in the return of TMNT and you've got me pretty excited for what promises to be a fun year at the theatre in 2007. 

Anyway, perhaps i'll get year-endy and introspective later this week or next...we'll see.

Be good to each other.
-apk

"24" and the Pittsburgh Penguins

Quick story:

So I go to the Pens game last night (Sidney Crosby is the Mayor of Philadelphia), and when the game's about to start, the lights go down and the scoreboard turns on.  On the jumbotron, the familiar "burning digital clock" of 24 starts flashing on. Only instead of "burning in" as "24", it cycles through all of the best Penguins' numbers (71, then 29, then 12) before ending with "87".  Then cue Keifer, "The following takes place between 7:00 PM and 10:00 PM" (of course there was the text on the screen to match) and before you know it, a badass unknown numetal rock song kicks up, and the screen fills with Penguins highlights (displayed in continuously changing split-screen formation, natch) as the team takes the ice.

This was the coolest Jumbotron moment in the history of professional sports. It was even better than "D-Generation Bucs" which debuted in 1999 (and was the impetus for my "D-Generation OX idea) and then returned last season.

if there's a God, and it's online, i will send it to you all.

start praying.
apk