BEHOLD: "THE SPOTLIGHT"

I've got a lot of things.  Charm, talent, piercing blue eyes, humility… Seriously, though. I've got a lot of great things in my life, but nothing is more important than the amazing people that overrun it.  Sometimes I seriously do feel like the star of a TV dramedy, one who alternates between the roles of "center of melodramatic attention", and "silent straight man."  In hopes of sharing with you some of the great personalities, intriguing souls, and rock-solid confidants that I'm so blessed to have in my life, I present to you my new gimmick, "The Spotlight." 

Every Tuesday (hopefully), I will start an email exchange with someone, and just see where it takes us. See what we talk about.  See who grabs a soapbox to lecture and who, alternately, grabs a rubber chicken to make us laugh.  At the end of the week, I'll try to compile it all as best as I can (it'll be a work in progress) and present to you fifteen minutes of Kingdom fame from whoever I picked that week.  Odds are, it'll be someone I just want to catch up with, which is self-serving, of course, but hey—all my friends are great, and you're liable to be entertained, appalled, or captivated no matter who it is.  Hope this little experiment works. 

So, who do I start with? It was an easy choice, because 1) I wanted to start off with a bang, 2) I wanted it to be entertaining the first time out, and 3)  I can honestly say that no one makes me feel like the Jerry Sienfeld to his Kramer-Costanza (just one character doesn't do him justice) as much as this guy does. You may know him as Sat Fat, as U-92, or even as Pelvis Presley.  I know him as Flexy Lexy.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the long overdue Kingdom return of Uram…

 After exchanging pleasantries and being raked over the coals for neglecting to return his (largely unreceived) Ims all month, he started things off with a little story.  

 …on Sunday August 21, 2005, my life was culminated.  I sat in my seat at the MCI center and witnessed SUMMERSLAM.  Forget the first two hours and fifteeen minutes.  lets cut right to the greatest moment of my life:

JINGJINGJINGJING OOOOOH OOOOOH SHAWN!  I THINK I'M CUTE. I KNOW I'M SEXY. I GOT THE LOOKS THAT DRIVE THE GIRLS WILD. I GOT THE MOVES THAT REALLY MOVE 'EM. I SEND CHILLS UP AND DOWN THEIR SPINE. I'M JUST A SEXY BOY (sexy boy) I'M NOT YOUR BOY TOY (boy toy). I'M JUST A SEXY BOY (sexy boy) I'M NOT YOUR BOY TOY (boy toy).
SHAWN MICHAELS CAME OUT.  CAME INTO THE RING, LOOKED AT ME, AND SAID, "THANK YOU ALEX URAM.  THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE" .  IT WAS AWESOME EVEN THOUGH SHAWN WAS FORCED TO CARRY HOGAN FOR 20 MINUTES AND GET PINNED.  THEN WHEN VIN AND I WERE WALKING OUT OF THE ARENA, WE SAW AN SUV DRIVE BY WITH SHANE MCMAHON IN IT.  HE WAS OBVIOUSLY IN DISGUST BECAUSE SHAWN LOST.
 

 …Well i gotta go train for friday's open run for the AND 1 MIXED TAPE TOUR. I'm practicing my dribbling the ball through the other guys legs, alley oop to my self, and also the old pull the defender's jersey over his eyes and hit the ball off his head and through his legs then throw and alley oops to AND 1 STREET BALL LEGEND SPYDER for the TOMOHAWK SLAM.

You know me,
I beez a street ballin jigga from da projex.
Met up wit mad bitches for some mo sex
don't wine and dine, even if dey be fine,
i just hit it and quit always usin latex.

laaate
-URAM.BET

 There's really no way to follow up something that insanely random and out there. If only you could all know the Uram us D-Sonians adore. The 275 pounds of twisted-steel and sex appeal that's quiet as a stampede, hasn't found a referee (in any sport) whose life he can't ruin, and is wanted for Verbal Murder in three states… So I just let it go, and asked him the Phillies' impromptu run towards the NL Wild Card…

ah, the good old wild card spot.  Lets see here... the phillies are like a cheating girlfriend.  they cheat on you, you dump them.  Then a month or two later you are lonely, you see her at the club and she misses you too.  You get to talking, hook up and then take her back.  BUT, For the rest of the relationship you wonder, WILL SHE EVER CHEAT ON ME AGAIN?  Now everything seems great... up 1 1/2 games in the wild card. "Sorry honey, I can't go out tonight, i have to babysit for my sister's kids."  But I know the phillies aren't at their sister's house baby sitting their neice and nephew.  I know that the phillies are out giving [rhymes with "snowjob"] to a latin american fella name rico.  So lets get down to brass tax here... will the phillies make the playoffs or will they be caught with a [use your imagination] down their throat?

Here is the answer:

SEPTEMBER SCHEDULE
2-4 AT Washington
5-7 vs. Houston
9-11 vs. Florida
12-15 vs. Atlanta
16-18 at Florida
20-22 at Atlanta

WILL THEY MAKE THE PLAYOFFS?  LET ME QUOTE DR. DRE:
"HELL NO BITCH NOW YOU GOT…."

Sorry 'Lex, that was "Just shy of phenomenal," but there are kids out there, and I have to be careful.  If anyone out there needs to figure it out, that's what Google's for…Sensing hilarity looming when it comes to his area of expertise: All Things Philly Sports, I decided to go for broke, and fired off some quick questions: 

What's your feeling on TO?

I purposely did not answer this question until after friday nights game.  First play of the game 64 yard touchdown bomb to T.O.  the end.  See you in Detroit.

Do you miss FredEX? I absolutely miss Fred X, First Down Freddie, The People's Champion, the Sultan of the Slot.

Is this your year, finally?  Our victory in Superbowl XL is a real as the bible itself.

How do you think John LeClair and the Rechhin' Ball will look in Penguin unis?  One man's junk is another man's treasure.  Ouch! That one hurt…

Has Iverson killed anyone lately?  No one stole crack from him, so no one died.

I thought that was about it, that I couldn't hope for any more, and that it had turned out to be a pretty solid outing for the first try (especially since I had no clue how I'd put this all together and try to make it work –continue to bear with me..) Then, he made my fall. Friends, I bring to you a HUGE announcement for the Kingdom: THE IMPENDING RETURN OF "GOING POSTAL!"  Now, 'Lex is no longer working for the USPS, so a new column name will have to be formulated, but I'm sure you can get an idea about what we're in for here… I'll let him tell you, though, just in case…

Anyway, I want to write a sports column every week.  I'll tell the truth about Pittsburgh Sports as an outsider who isn't neccessarily a hater.  I will absolutely rip the Red sox, patriots, and ray lewis frequently.  Basically I want to write about sports, and whatever topic in sports I want.  And the topics won't only be philly because your readership (3 people) probably will get sick of all illadelph all the time.

So whaddya think? Who wants to be in the spotlight next? Email me, before I email you.
Be Good to Each Other
-apk

MONDAY HANGOVER: "I'll Put a Spell on You"

Hidey-ho, Junior Rangers! And welcome to the last week of summer.  It occurred to me this morning that with my first paycheque, I should go out and buy some fall-coloured wardrobish type things. I mean, I can't wear pastels after Labor Day, can I?   I'm liable to get made fun of by Jean for my clothing choices enough as it is, I don't need to give her ammo by wearing summery colours. Or does it really just not matter?

 

Weird office thing of the day:  me, the guy next to me, and Jean (who's two doors down) are all wearing varying shades of pastel purple today.   That's 3-out-of 4 attorneys in a row. Random? Or part of this Hurricane-induce/end of summer malaise everyone seems to be slipping into? I'll leave it to you, my loyal listeners.

 

Not much happened this weekend, and by GAWD that was a great thing!  I gave it a real long, hard thought, and realized that this past Saturday was the first weekend since BEFORE FINALS where I didn't have a wedding to go to, or finals/bar studying looming over every single thing I had to do.   I actually woke up (from strange legal dreams) and didn't know what to do about not having anything to do. Naturally, I went back to sleep, then spent the rest of the weekend on my couch.   I deserved it, dammit!

 

As for that paycheque, get this.  Tomorrow's payday, and since my direct deposit doesn't kick in for another two weeks, I get to have a paper one. Which is sweet, with the exception that since the very kind paylady is going to be out of the office tomorrow, I got it a day early. I know you're thinking, "exception? That sounds sweet as well!" I was inclined to agree with you, kemo sabe, but unfortunately, it's dated for tomorrow. Meaning the biggest paycheque of my life has just become the biggest cocktease of my life.   C'est la vie.

 

Back to the weekend—I really hope someone out there caught the Little League World Series, or at least the M*AZING final yesterday between Curacao and Hawaii.  Honest-to-God, this was one of the best Baseball games I've ever seen. It had it all, comeback-after-comeback, great pitching, incredibly solid 12-year-old defense, clutch hitting, drama, psycho Hawaiian kids with long blonde hair praying to God after every pitch and intimidating kids before throwing 74 mph fastballs past them, etc., etc..

 

Though the Hawaiians had some Bush-League tendencies (ie: flashing bunt EVERY TIME THEY TOOK A PITCH), I couldn't fault them for their perseverance, and I couldn't help but mark out when the crowd started with the Greatest Chant in the Universe, "U-S-A! U-S-A!"  Even though the previously-mentioned-psycho long blonde haired kid loves Ray Ray "I didn't See Nuffin'" Lewis, the rest of the kids were pretty cool, and I couldn't help but root for the secondbaseman nicknamed "bubbles" because he has a bulbous ass. I can relate, son. It's all good.

 

So yeah, the LLWS was purely amazing, as I can't believe how good some of these kids are. And even Julie, who has no love for baseball, was entirely captivated through the final. Good stuff—hope you got to check it out.

 

That's about it for me, for today, folks, look for a NEW kind of column tomorrow, as we turn the spotlight onto URAM!

 

Your Song of the Day is "Strange and Beautiful" by Aqualung. Good, melancholy, hopeful stuff. And really, after the dreadfully predicable/ upsetting MTV VMAs last night, I needed some good music.   The Foo Fighters and My Chemical Romance—bands with two of the best VIDEOS (not songs!) I've seen in a LONG time both got hosed because it was International Make Out with Green Day Night…words cannot describe my anger.

 

Let's give a shout-out/Hail Mary to Nic and Lauren, who are running for their lives to the safety of Mississippi from Megabitch Katrina, who's doing some INCREDIBLE damage.  Let's hope their house still stands when they get back. Seriously.

 

Okay, be good to each other.

-apk

DAILY DOSE: "B-A-N-A-N-A-S!"

I hate that song too. But now it's stuck in your head all day! Ha!

 

Sorry-- Subway did it to me this morning (they have 99cent sausage/egg sandwhichs that are 1) huge; 2) great!) and i just had to pass on the torture.  Ooooooooooh it's my shh! it's my shh! Ooooooooooh it's my shhh! it's my shh!

 

Anyhow, there's not much to report today, although I did go to the ballpark with one of the partners last night. Let's just say the "Club Level" is all it's cracked up to be, and more. I was so overwhelmed, it took me 7 innings to realize that my seat was cushioned. The Buccos got slapped around, quite figuratively, but Geral Perry, the Pirates' uber-crazy hitting coach quite literally did some slapping around of his own.

 

I'd like to thank everyone who..wait..no one replied to my request for car advice? It's okay, I'm not mad. There probably aren't many readers left after my lackisdasical summer. However, if you just didn't come by yesterday, scroll down to the DOSE, then come back up here and tell me what sports car to buy (someday).

 

And Marc, I know I liked to Google yesterday. That's because they power Blogger and Gmail, the two greatest inventions of the last 9 years, and because, with their powers combined, I can now update more quickly, and easily, with full-formatting, than EV-ER!

 

Alrighty then, I'm going to get back to medical records, and leave you for now. I dunno what I'm up to tonight, but I might get rolling on some Blog projects (one is already very happily underway) that i'll hopefully start unveiling next week.  Keep your fingers crossed.

 

I ain't your holla back girlllll,

-apk

Wow.

I love technology. I can update via email.  Let's try some stuff.

 

Marc hunts snipe.

Marc hunts snipe.

Marc hunts snipe.

• Marc catches none.

Strange?

Wonder why a Frenchman can't catch snipe...

 

God, I love these guys.

 

-apk

 

DAILY DOSE: "This ever changing world pushes me through another door."

First things first: everyone stop and say six "Hail Marys" for Zach Duke, and pray that his ankle's a-okay.  Initial prognosis looks good, but really, when you're talking about the Duke of Hurl, you can't be too safe.

 

To be honest with you, I've not been updating for three reasons: 1) I'm still getting used to this new schedule (up at 6! Gah!) and don't find myself interested in writing when I get home; 2) last week was tough in a decidedly non-work-related kind of way, and I didn't have the inclination to write about it/be melodramatic, because I have yet to piece together my feelings on the matter (ooohhh, mysterious!); 3) I don't have anything to write about.

 

Yes, it's true, it's true—I'm in a creative lull, one that I still fully believe is part of Post-Traumatic-Bar Exam Syndrome.   I've been doing an awful lot of fun stuff, too (like three weddings in three weeks) and yet, find myself entirely disinclined from writing about it.   But never fear, True Believers! I'm starting to work my way out of the funk.   F'r instance, I'm writing right now, I'm starting to draw again, and I felt the slightest bit of inspiration from my book about Superheroes and Philosophy this morning. Baby steps to the door…baby steps into the hall…

 

This weekend's going to be crucial, though.  Now that I'm shit outta best friends to pal around with on a regular basis, it's going to be interesting to see how the weekend goes. With luck, I'll get to have some boys-night-out fun with Pizz and Z (which is much needed) and I'll take my first steps towards becoming Pittsburgh's Bruce Wayne.

 

That's a goal to talk about another time—but it will at least give the bully pulpit something to discuss around here (if any of you are still out there).   I need to get a sports car. Preferably, within the next year.  The tricky thing is, it's going to have to be under $30K, so there goes that Audi TT I've had my eye on.   However, Sprout and I put together a pretty solid lists of alternatives, all of which are entirely impractical (I live in PITTSBURGH, and I'm going to buy a rear-wheel drive?) yet fun to speculate.

 

So I need some feedback on the Pontiac Solstice (in the end, it's still a Pontiac), the Chrysler Crossfire, the Nissan Z (or 350Z? I think…), the Dodge Charger, and anything else y'all can think of that fits the bill… Please discuss practicality, colour choice, etc… it should be fun! Think of it as a more interactive Poll Day Celebration.

 

Finally-- there's a BIG overhaul on the horizon, some ideas hit me this morning. Like Rainbow Randolph in Death to Smoochy, "WHEELS ARE TURNING!!!"

 

Your Song of the Day is "Hold on to the Night" by Richard Marx.  This is what happens when every radio station but one is on commercial as you pull into the Park-n'-Ride.

 

be good to each other,

-apk

Tuesday Trailer

Hey folks, we're quickly approaching late-nightness, so I'm going to just drop you the final dossier I had hanging out in my inbox. This one's from my baby bro, and serves as a little pre-curser to the new Tuesday Gimmick I'll be debuting within the next few weeks (i hope).

Anywho, back to the Galactica Season 2 marathon. BTW: this show continues to dominate. You're missing out on some good shite if you're not watching, and KLE can attest to it.

now, on to GOODER.

be good to each other
-apk

1) Blog Name
dantheman3

2) why is your Blog Name your Blog Name
well, my name is dan, dan the man is a common phrase, and 3 is my number… so basically, I just didn’t want to forget it
3) any other nicknames we should know about/ make fun of you for?
ive never been a guy with a nickname. I have no idea what that means

FAVOURITES:
1) movie
Star Wars, Indy, Spaceballs, Wayen’s World, Dude Where’s My Car?, Back to the Future, Fight Club, Multiplicity, Spiderman 2, The Incredibles, Princess Bride, Army of Darkness, Matchstick Men- I could go on for awhile, these are just the ones off the top of my head, and I haven’t even got to the real “artsy type ones” yet.

2) tv show
MacGyver, Spin City, That 70’s Show, Star Trek: TNG, Looney Toons will ALWAYS rock… again, too many to name, but those would be some all time favorites.

3) movie quote

Too many to name, just like everything else…. But I’ll throw out, “Yogurt! I HATE YOGURT! …Even with Strawberries.”
4) real life quote
"I just like seeing what’s out there. There’s so much, SO much, and I’ll never be able to see it all. It’s kind of frustrating to know that in this lifetime I won’t quite get to sample the whole picture."
-Anthony Kiedis

"I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence I can reach for; perfection is God's business."
-Michael J. Fox

5) fast food
Arby’s and Sheetz
6) movie of the last year
I might have to say the Incredibles, even though I know there is a long string of movies that I’ve really enjoyed. But the past year is a giant blur when it comes to new movies.
7) video game
James Bond: Everything or Nothing (That game is incrediable)
8) band
Red Hot Chili Peppers, Third Day, Fuel, Audioslave
9) Song of the Day
Audioslave – Doesn’t Remind Me

BLOG STUFF:
1) favourite blog moment
too many random good laughs to point out one.
2) favourite blog post-category (Link of the Day, I Am the Law!, Bows and Toes, etc.)
I enjoy Link of the Day
3) why do you keep coming back?
You are my brother. You write some crazy stuff that can be hilarious or informative.

Adam Type Questions
1) If you could be any superhero, who would you be, and why?
The Tick….he’s nigh vulnerable…

2) If you could have dinner with any three people ever, who would it be, and why?
Jesus – I mean, come on….its Jesus…

Martin Luther King Jr. – A brilliant man who could enlighten me on levels I could never imagine. Not only spiritually, but socially, ethnically, politically…. That would simply amazing.
Flea – a really smart, down to earth guy, who has seen a lot of this world…good, bad, ugly, and beautiful. I’d love to just get some insight on life, music, art, the world and its people.

3) If you could eliminate any one athlete from the history of the world, who would it be, and why?
Barry Bonds cause he’s a money hungry cry baby who showed the children of this country that Americas favorite past time was not based on the game anymore….but on fame and fortune. I hope he limps for the rest of his days.

DAILY DOSE: "Everybody's Waitin' for the Honeymoon to End"

Howdy, Y'all

... {ahem..} ..

I've..got a feellll--in', Picksburgh's Goin' to da' Suuu-per Bowl!

Haha- just kiddin.' After the way we dismantled the NFC Champion in a totally meaningless game tonight, I guaran-damn-tee that 70% of all calls to PGH Sports Talk Radio today will start that way. So i figured, "Why fight it!" It's like Spring Training-- everyone's undefeated today (except the 'Iggles) and hope springs eternal, Here We Go Stillers!

Anywho, to quote the Great Lance Storm (from Calgary, Alberta, Canada), "If I can be serious for a minute..."

Today I started my career.
Crazy-- I know. I threw on a suit, and it wasn't for a job interview, like the lady at the coffee shop thought. No, no. I've got insurance, a 401K, and all kinds of other things I don't understand (like conference calling and something called "Microsoft Outlook.") I'm a big kid now, and for the next week or so, as they break us in-- I'm playin' with the house's money, and coincidentally, eating at some nice Pittsburgh High Society-type places. It's really quite swellnees. Jean already has assignments, though, so it's it's only a matter of time before the Honeymoon ends for me as well. C'est la vie.

Now, time for a few random observations n'at.

1) What the HELL happened to Hillary Duff? Now, I was never one to put her into the "hot" camp, but she as least used to be a realistically shaped little almost-legal cutie. Now? Skeletor to the max. She looks like a coke fiend, and I ain't talkin' "The Real Thing" Coke.

2) For that matter-- Lindsay Lohan does, too. And she used to be hot (in that "Adam's strangely attracted to redheads these days way).

3) Wan-ta Fanta? Dontcha Wan-ta Fanta? ...I can't explain why I love that so damn much.

4) I picked up the new Hootie albumn last week, and am very happy with the purchase, 6 of the 12 songs fall firmly into the "really really like" camp, while a few others are above average, and there are really on two innately skippable tracks. Today's Song of the Day is "Hey Sister Pretty" of said albumn. Good, slightly angry song that exclaims, "I'm still tryin'...to stop this thing from dyin'...don't forget to kiss me 'fore you beat me up again." True. That.

5) I know it's currently not cool to like The Island, but Carolyn and I did. I've got a pretty good review half-written. When I finish that, you'll be able to go see the flick for 2 bucks, and enjoy your evening. You might even thank me.

6) Scarlett Johannson is H-O-T.

7) Marc is perhaps the Greatest Snipe Hunter of All Time. He caught SIX snipe, and killed each and every one of the little bastards with his bare hands. I saw it. If anyone out there ever wants to go Snipe hunting-- Marc's your guide.

8) bedtime. I'm a professional now.

peace.
-apk

Sports Fans of the World: UNITE!

I just sent this to the SportsGuy Reader Rant email address. I suggest you all cut and paste and do the same... Also, does anybody out there like those WANTA FANTA--DONTCHA WANTA FANTA commercials as much as I do??

..hello?...anyone?

..didn't think so... :(

here's YOUR Letter of the Day.

------

To Whom It May Concern:

Insider sucks. There-- it's off my chest. I don't even know how much it costs, but I'm not getting it, based on two principles:

1) no matter how much it costs, I probably can't afford it
2) there's absolutely no reason i should have to pay to read an internet column

and
BONUS!
3) ESPN.com (the number 1 sports internet website) charging people to read, oh...just about everything (i can't even get GAMMONS for free anymore!) just stinks of trying to swindle us out of a buck. You can't make the money you need to run the site off of the huge multi-national corporation banners or major-movie advertisements littering the site? You REALLY need us all to pony up $4.95 (or whatever) a month? Riiiight.

I'm sorry. I won't do it. And I know plenty more people out there that won't, than actually will. I HATE Cnnsi.com, but guess what? I'm going there more and more often now, cuz it's (gasp!) FREE! And guess what? Some of its writers are growing on me.

Today was pretty much the last straw. I just wanted to kill some time, so i floated on over to Sportsguy (who, I swear, if he ever becomes an Insider site, I will boycott ESPN, in ALL of its forms (Monday Night Football, Videogames, SportsCenter) FOREVER) and tried to open up a column about video games from THREE YEARS AGO, and it was an Insider Link. That's not only ridiculous and insulting, it's attempted robbery.

Insider sucks.
Please get rid of it, before I have to change my homepage.

Thanks,
MY NAME
MY CITY

Punting...

Oddly enough, I can't write for crap right now. I've tried two different columns today, and both have crashed and burned. Thus, in hopes of getting some momentum going around here and actually posting, I'm going to wuss out and give you a couple more of those ever-so-fun dossiers I received a few weeks ago.

In the meantime, I give you my new roomie, Elise (now, I'm getting back to reruns of Buffy and Even Stevens).

i wasn't going to participate, but....

1) Blog Name
bright*shiny*objects

2) why is your Blog Name your Blog Name
because, just like crows and weasels, i like shit that sparkles

3) any other nicknames we should know about/ make fun of you for?
elsie, leesee, e-zile and my dad calls me sweets

FAVOURITES:
1) movie
dead poets' society, the princess bride, donnie darko and snatch

2) tv show
i'm a geek. i like CSI and Law & Order.

3) movie quote
You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world. -- Fight Club

4) real life quote
Either this world, my mother, is a monster, or I myself am a freak. -- Annie Dillard

5) fast food
eeeewww. salad, i guess.

6) movie of the last year
Supersize Me

7) video game
you know, i kick ass at snood

8) band
dashboard, greenday, postal service, frou frou, the used, snow patrol, everything on epitonic.com

9) Song of the Day
um?

BLOG STUFF:
1) favourite blog moment
i think i stumbled on your blog a little late in the game, so i don't really know enough to have favorites yet. sorry!

2) favourite blog post-category (Link of the Day, I Am the Law!, Bows and Toes, etc.)
uh, same answer

3) why do you keep coming back?
boredom. pure boredom ;)

4) Besides, "actually frakkin' write more, dammit!" What's your best piece of advice to make the Kingdom better?
soccer is much more interesting than baseball, kiddo. MUCH more interesting.

Adam Type Questions
1) If you could be any superhero, who would you be, and why?
hmmm...tough one. but in college, they called me captain planet :)

2) If you could have dinner with any three people ever, who would it be, and why?
Milan Kundera and/or Aldous Huxley (i want their brains)
Kate Spade (i want her style)
Charles Darwin (i want his sense of adventure)

3) If you could eliminate any one athlete from the history of the world, who would it be, and why?
no clue.

and finally:
Tell us either a good story, or something that pisses you off, pet-peeve style.
something that pisses me off:
I really hate the fact that soy cheese tastes nasty. I mean, come ON people, I need to be able to eat something normal.
or
The fact that you keep spelling favorite with a u. We're not Brits, dear.

Take it easy-- with luck, my brain will un-atrophy, and i'll be able to write...
-apk

DAILY DOSE: "My Head is Giving Me Life or Death-- but I Can't Choose."

Welcome to a brand new era-- and this time, I mean it.

I'm writing to you from my spanking new digs, the Pimp Shaq known as "2107 (three times, three times, three times better than 707," as I present to you the first Honest-to-God legit posting since Bar Prep began.

Ahh, how it feels to have my brain getting back to normal. I never expected the Bar process to so totally melt my brain, and so utterly destroy whatever vestiges of creativity I was able to escape Law School with. So first off, I suppose apologies are in order to all those that kept visiting the Kingdom, and found little to nothing of consequence over the past few months. More importantly, however, is a special thanks to all those out there who have kept on keepin' on, and dutifully checked to see if I had anything stupid or melodramatic to say. Nice to have constant support-- even nicer to see you never left (now do your part and get everyone who left to come back!)

The last few months have been chalk-full of exciting, life-changing events. So where does the Life of apk stand now, you wonder? Here's a quick recap:

1) I start my career next Monday, working for a mid-sized firm in the City of Champions that seemingly offers me what I can only describe as my "dream law job coming out of school." I'm thoroughly exctied to get rolling, though, in truth, I'm a little scared and awestruck at the thought of becoming an full-blown grownup.

I can't really get into any depth about The Firm, because I'm going to try my damndest to keeping The Kingdom and my career as seperate (and Googleproof) as possible (so that I don't have a) discontinue the blog or 2) lose my job, but, I will add that one of my very-best friends from law school was hired along with me, and will be started next Monday as well. Let's just say that her name starts with a "J" and ends with an "eanie." Good stuff...I hope.

2) I've just recently moved out of house in the 'Fo, and into a condo on the other side of the city. I've moved in with very special Elise and her friend Julie, pulling duty as Jack Tripper. If anyone out there wants to refer to me as "Tripper," by all means, feel free-- it makes for a sweet, sweet nickname. Party at our place on Friday at 8, 80's Theme dress requested. Email or call for details/queries.

3) I've been playing on Gavin's softball team out in the South Hills all summer, and have done more than hold my own with a pretty talented squad. We're the Joe Tables, and we're headed to the playoffs, I'll keep you posted.

Moving on, I'm going to hit the hay and try to wrap this guy up with the first Song of the Day in some time. It is, of course, "Best of You, by the Foo Fighters. I'm not even a big Foo Fighters fan, but I just absolutely love this video. It's chaotic and powerful and perfect in so many ways, I could write a whole column about it, but I probably won't... Actually, that could be a good idea for a type of gimmick-- don't let me forget about that. The lyrics are pretty good stuff, and do a good job (as most Songs of the Day are wont to do) of summing up a lot of the conflicting feelings I have these days concerning the usual "should I stay or should I go?"-type concerns. Basically, I'm a big kid, with a big kid place, and a big kid job, and I'm ready to start sharing all that stuff. The question is how long I can keep holding onto a dream, and keep fighting the good fight. For now, I think "a little bit longer" is the best I can come up with.

Anyway, things'll really start to pick up around here later this week as re-figure-out how to put together one of these entries. It's like starting from scratch. Don't worry-- I'll be back later with a full-on story detailing D-Ox Reunion 2K5, also known as the Taylor/Mary wedding. Let's just say that it was just shy of phenomenal, and leave it at that...

okay-- Marc went Snipe Hunting, and that's not even the best story from the trip.

If that's not a teaser, I dunno what is.
Hang tight for the pleaser, it'll be here soon.
-apk

PAUSE FOR THE CAUSE

Hey folks- just wanted to drop you an FYI, and officially announce the RETURN of the Kingdom, in all-out full force on NEXT MONDAY!

I'm writing to you all from my new super-fly pimp-shaq, 2107 (which is three times, three times, three times! cooler than 707). Having finally moved in, I prepare for my career, starting Monday the 15th. There's tons to catch you up on, including the Bar, my 25th Birthweek, and TAYLOR'S WEDDING/ D-Ox Reunion '05 this weekend.

So just chill, 'till the next episode, and I'll see you Monday!

-apk