DAILY DOSE: "We Are Waiting, We Have Not Forgotten"

Merry Christmas & Happy Hanukah, everyone.

I know it's a few days early, but what are the odds of me posting later this week, and what are the odds of you reading? Besides, after the way my morning started out (see below) I figured that taking a few minutes out of my lunchtime to post the reflections on Christmas I wrote last night could brighten my day and get the afternoon rolling.

Before I get into sappy Christmas well-wishes, allow me to rank for you what I believe to be my Top 10 Favorite Christmas Songs.  I've been doing so much Christmas shopping that, between driving around and listening to the radio and simply walking through stores, Christmas music has become impossible to avoid.  I don't mind it once December 15 rolls around, but any earlier than that, and it only serves to remind me how commercialized, and thus, annoying Christmas has become for me following the Thanksgiving Rush.

Anyway, without further ado, here are 10 Songs I Refuse to Turn Off if they come on the radio.

10.  The Christmas Song (Nat King Cole and/or Hootie and the Blowfish) 
Most will argue that any Nat King Cole version is unacceptable, and I'd normally be one to agree with them.  However, as I noted last year, I find the Hootie version to be positively delightful, for one reason or another. And no, I honestly don't think it has anything to do with the fact that their one of my favorite bands. Instead, it's just the simplicity with which they embrace the Classiest of Classics.  Nat, on the other hand, needs no explanation. I'd be one to argue that his is one of the greatest SONGS of all time. 

9.  All I Want for Christmas (is you) (Mariah Carey)
I'm pretty sure this is because of the video, which featured a pre-insanity, still-married, adorable Mariah in a Santa's helper suit. Every now and then, I miss the mid-nineties. Fun song, too.

8.  Jingle Bell Rock (any version)
Don't ask me why, just love this one. Every time I hear it in a store, i start tapping my feet and singing along. It's irresistible.

7.  God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen (Bing Crosby)
One of my all-time favorite albums is the Binger's Christmas Album.  This is one of, if not the only, versions of this song I can even tolerate.  I think he sings it with such subtle power and stone-faced seriousness that what is initially a jarring moment on an otherwise happy-go-lucky album becomes an eloquent reminder of significance of Christmas.  Great, great song.

6.  Christmas Time is Here (Alvin & the Chipmunks)
Takes me back to being 12 years old, in my cousin Jon's room, listening to this on an old 45 and thinking it was the greatest Christmas song ever.  I keep running into it on the radio, and have sat in my car to finish listening to it.

5. Carol of the Bells (Trans-Siberian Orchestra)
Intense. Epic. Sweeping.  I'd go to a concert just to hear this live. 

4. Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer (who sings this?)
Either my brother, mother, or sister made sure to get my grandmother's casette copy of this after my grandfather passed away, I think.  I know someone in the family saved it. And good thing, too.  I remember Gooder, 'Dina and I always used to listen to this on grandma Rosie's little tape deck and sing along. Could've been December, could've been July. We adored this song, and it still holds up as legitimately funny.  When i hear it, it reminds me of simpler, genuinely happier times. Times where I didn't have so many relatives that didn't like each other.

3.  Santa Claus is Comin' to Town (Bing Crosby)
Another great song from a great album, my favorite part of this jazzy, fun version is when my animatronic Bingger, dressed to the nines as St. Nick himself, points the his stand-up microphone over to the invisible backup singers when they ask "Why?" after he explains, "You'd better not pout, you'd better not cry..."  Fun, fun times. Come over and check it out at my place if you've not seen it.

2. Somewhere in My Memories (from "Home Alone")
I know this is a real song (i think), but I only ever hear it in "Home Alone" (one of the great, yet strangely forgotten Christmas movies).  With or without lyrics, it's a beautiful song, and ever time I hear it I think, "I need to get that..."

1.  Christmas Canon (Trans-Siberian Orchestra)
This is BEAUTIFUL, and I hear it about three times a year.  It's the Orchestra's version of "Canon in D" with kids singing along.  Just gorgeous.  I heard it on the way to pick up Gooder's present the other night, and literally sat in the parking lot waiting for it to end, as a new snow began to swirl around my car.  Surreal moment.  I'll add that "Canon" has been an important, moving, song to me over the last few years, and that this version, with just enough added to the spectacular arrangement by the children, always gives me hope during the introspective end of the year.  Consider it your song of the day. And consider it a reminder of everything that Christmas truly stands for. Namely, love from God and love to one another.  Consider it also a reminder that tomorrow, is quite literally, a New Year, and the faith and hope brought along by Christmas will carry into it.  That's what it means to me.

And with that, I wish you all a very safe, happy holiday. I hope not only that you all get what you want, but that you get to share, enjoy, and reflect on the time you get to spend with your families.  I am most looking forward to spending hours on the couch playing Nintendo with Gooder, feeding my mom booze so she stays chill throughout the 25th, and finally being able to give my family some worthy thank-you's and symbols of how much I love them and appreciate everything they've done for me in the form of some relatively kick-ass presents.

Peace on Earth Goodwill towards men, and all that jazz,
-apk

I'm Glad I Have to Explain Myself on My Own Blog.

An open letter to friends of friends who feel like my blog is the best place to take out your frustrations with me:

With all due respect, I have no respect for you.

In what was clearly a post designed to a) only poke fun at myself, and b) open the forum to my actual friends who would like to have a light, tongue-in-cheek discussion about how terrible I am in courtship-type situations, I'm glad that you found the courage to lash out at me.  I'm also sure that Allison appreciates you airing your (and assumably by proxy, her) private beef with me over the open airways of cyberspace. 

Secondly, thanks for assuming I'm stupid.  I was not, in fact, calling out to KLE for relationship advice.  I was merely recognizing, in my own thoughts, that one who had torched me and my prowess with the ladies in the past would leap at the opportunity to further our fictious love-hate rivalry when presented with such an obvious incident of "apk is an idiot."   I am  thoroughly aware of your general disdain for me, as a group, understand it, and have accepted it. 

Finally, if you wanted to start some sort of Cybergeddon where you thought I'd fight back and lash out and defend myself, think again.  But I will make this short retort.  1) I've never met you, so there's absolutely no way you can possibly know both sides of the story.  2) Since there's no way you know both sides of the story, there's no way you can ever even remotely (let alone "fully") understand this situation to the point that it is either worthwhile or necessary for me to discuss it with you.  I certainly won't debate whether she's a great girl.  All I can say is that I have always tried to be as honest and fair with her as possible. 

And also that any circumstances relating to her are entirely totally unconditionally unrelated to me thinking a girl at Bath & Body Works is cute.  You all need to get over yourselves.

The funny thing is, I acutually considered not posting that one silly little anecdote because of reasons like those that you insinuated.  However, I realized that the reason I'm not posting so much around here is because of the way I have to antiseptically censor myself at every turn anymore, because I have to think about things like, "wait, this girl likes me and it might make me seem to be like a jerkass if i post about another girl,"  when the point of the story is that I don't know how to close the deal, and ask for a cute girl's number, and would like some recommendations (serious or otherwise) on how to pull that off.  This is my place to hang out and joke with my friends and keep a running track of the intricacies and minor hilarities and observances of my life.  Thanks for using it as a sounding board to attack someone you neithert know nor could possibly understand.

For an instance this morning, I considered closing the Kingdom altogether, because tI'm tired of protecting everyone's feelings in my own private space. It's neither fair to me, nor anyone reading who wants to know what I'm thinking. I'm not being true to anyone.  If that's what you were going for, congrats, you almost won.  If you'd rather I take the "gloves off," so to speak, and explain to all, once and for all, in the middle of the internet, why I didn't date Allison, it's not going to happen for a number of reasons. Especially, for one, because I seem to have more respect for her and her private affairs than you do.  I will thank you, though.  If all of her friends are as judgmental, overbearing, uncouth, and immature as you, I may have inadvertedly avoided a lifetime of headaches (no offense KLE).

Hope this didn't add too much to my "typical melodrama."

And to crib from Peter Griffin,
EaglesSuckPhilliesSuckFlyersSuckKryptonSucks.

PGH out.
-apk


To my true friends:

I am considering moving the Kingdom and giving out the address via personal invitation.  Consider a "free membership," so-to-speak, because I'd like to get back to posting my pure, unadulterated thoughts.  Please post-up with your thoughts, and whether you would want to know how to find me.

-apk

DEAR ABBY,

Dear Kingdomites,

I ventured into Bath & Body Works for the first time last night in hopes of finding a Christmas present suitable for my Legal Assistant, who is awesome. Long story short, I received assitance from a ...what do you even call them in there? A fragrance consultant? Okay, sure- fragrance consultant who was this cute short-haired brunette 'bout my height with amazing brown eyes and a really sexy neck. Your classic WASP-tastic apk-girl.

Anyway, she takes me around the story, we exchange witty banter, etc. And it was more subdued than the normal "this girls flirting with you so you buy stuff" thing. Honestly-- I'm not Buff, I know the stripper-tricks when I see them. This wasn't it- trust me. So I buy a basket for my LA and another for my mom (i needed another present for mom anyhow, and didn't feel like letting the mojo die, anyway). So in the end, she makes sure to impede my progress out of the store, I drop her a "Happy Holidays" and go about my business.

During the conversation in line, I found out she works until 11, she found out I'm attorney buying nice gifts for my LA and my mom: ie: I'm a sweetheart. What I'm saying here is, I feel like I had a legit shot. Ring-check came up negative.

So here's my questions, folks (since i'm clueless in these ways):

1) what's the best way to progress to "are you single" / "can i buy you dinner" AND/OR
2) should i have gone back there like, 15 minutes later, and just been all, "do you have a boyfriend?" if she says yes, I can obviously follow with "That's excellent- i just needed to find out, or i'd be kicking myself all night (or following day-- like i am)" if she says no, i can ask proceed directly to asking her out, right? What's the harm? It's not like I'll be back to Bath & Body Works any time soon, right?

..that is, until i go back tonight.

i'm really clueless, ain't i? KLE- game on.

-apk

Link of the Day: Amelie Wannabe Let Off the Hook

Woohoo! I'm not the most clueless guy, when it comes to girls, on the face of the planet!

 

This  just means I'm number 2 at about everything.

 

-apk

DAILY DOSE: "You and I, We'll Fly Home"

Some randomation from my drive home with My Chemical Romance's "Headfirst for Halos" stuck in my head:

-As much as I love "Christmas Time is Here" by Alvin & the Chipmunks, and as much as pretty much adore any lyric-less version of "Carol of the Bells," THREE Pittsburgh-area radio stations playing nothing but Christmas songs all month has gotten to be a little much.

-Nothing of consequence happened today, but it may have been one of the best days of work yet.  I tackeld a complicated research problem, got some help from a great attorney, figured it out, made a guess, turned out to be right, and also had a bunch of randomly good moments with people in the office. Thoroughly Enjoyable Day.

-December 13, and I'm 97% done with my Christmas shopping. It's a Brave New Knipper, folks.

-I'm already sick of winter.

-I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the incredible luck the Stillers had Sunday, what with the Chiefs and Chargers both losing games that, on paper, they should've walked away with.  It's about time.

-Reason number 348 why I love Pittsburgh:  standing in a Dick's Sporting Goods watching the end of Cowboys/Cheifs with a half-dozen random Yinzers, and every Tom, Dick, and Harriet, and their kids, in the entire store, totally understood the playoff ramifications of the situation.

-Boo to whoever decided to charge Fifty Bucks for a screen-printed PSU-Orange Bowl sweatshirt.

-Paul Posluzny- Be. My. Dad.

-Standing on the bus from D'ahn T'ahn to Crafton sucks.

-We're quickly approaching my first ever Office Christmas Party. Someone please call me Saturday and remind me to behave myself. I am, after all, the new kid.

-Watched two movies over the weekend:
     1) The Wizard of Oz. -- Good flick. If you've not seen it, check it out. Anyone remember "Return to Oz?" the one with the Wheelers and Tick Tock and that Jack Skellington guy... scary. frakkin'. movie.  I don't remember if it's good or not.

     2)  Mr. & Mrs. Smith -- Totally entertaining mindless shoot-'em-up.  Angelina Jolie, who normally I find hot, but not attractive-- was both. If you don't understand the difference, let me know, I'll go into detail. 

-All girls still look cute in scarves.

-22 Days until Season 2 1/2 of Galactica- you DAMN right I'm excited.  KLE- have you gotten your hands on the "Official Companion" yet? Good stuff.

And FINALLY:

It's high time I give praise to the wonder that is Breugger's Bagels.  Not only does their breakfast sandwhiches give Sheetz a run for its money (and dare I say it:  Bacon/egg/meunster on a meunster bagel beats anything Sheetz makes) the best fast-food sandwhich I've ever had is the consistently great Cuban Chicken Sandwhich on a Asiago/Parmesan Softwhich.  Like the NBA, it's FAN-tastic.  We're talkin grilled chicken, Swiss cheese, ham, chipotle sauce, dijon mustard all on a softwhcih bagel. Get  your pickle on the side, and live it up for 6 bucks. It's better than anything you'll get under the Arches, at Arby's or at Subway. Trust a Brother.

and with that, I leave you.
I know it wasn't earth-shattering, but it was a post nonetheless.

peace out, homies.
-apk

If I Can Be Serious for a Minute: "Everybody's Changing and I Don't Feel the Same"

Having traveled through many nations and through many waters, brother, I arrive for these unhappy rites, so that I might give you with a final duty of death and in vain speak to silent ash, seeing that fortune has taken you yourself from me, alas! Unhappy brother taken outrageously from me! Now, however—nevertheless—receive these, which in the death of ancient parents were given as a sad gift to the underworld, and are wet with abundant, fraternal tears. And into eternity, brother, hail and farewell.
 

                                   -Catullus 101

 

Today we recognize loss, and subsequently, rebirth.  I "lost" two exceedingly important parts of my life yesterday, at least in the metaphysical sense.  As I've already announced here in The Kingdom, Rob Mackowiak, my long-time "favorite baseball player" was traded away from the Pirates yesterday for a left-handed relief pitcher the Bucs will probably use, not unlike Jack's Magic Beans (TM), to grow a third baseman. Like Joe Randa. But I digress.  It's not just a loss of my favorite player, but also the loss of the youthful innocence I had recently regrown.  In the years since Andy Van Slyke, my childhood idle, left the Pirates in '94, the club had featured its share of great, or least heavily likeable, ballplayers. Yet, with the exception of my short love-affiar with Turner Ward, I never fully invested myself in a ballplayer. Never let my guard down and became a true FAN of a guy.  Not Brian Giles, not Jason Kendall, not Jason Bay, nor Oliver Perez.  I was always skeptical of them all in some way or another.  Either he couldn't hit for power, couldn't throw strong enough, or was destined to be shipped out. It didn't matter, I wasn't signing on to be hurt. Not by another ballplayer.

 

Then Rob was called up in 2001. I still remember those first few games I saw him play, breaking up double plays and always working his ass off, despite his limited talents.  Like Turner Ward, Hines Ward, Andy Van Slyke, and Bobby Engram before him, I was hooked on a guy who played like I tried to play every day-- Like he was too dumb to know he wasn't any good.  That's Rob.  Hard-nosed, strong-armed, never gets cheated on a swing. Prone to mistakes, but just as prone to clutch-greatness, he quickly became my favorite Pirate, and then, my favorite player. 

 

Once I moved back to town, I spread the Gospel of Rob as best I could, and it all culminated with the Mackowiak Weekend of 2004, where I instantly made fans out of bunches of friends and families through a combination of my constant praise and his extraordinary three-games against the Cubbies.  Later that summer, when I actually, by chance, met him after a game, I became entirely awestruck for the first time in my life.  And now, like Luke waxing about Obi Wan, "I can't believe he's gone."  I will never forget him. He will always be Pirates #59 to me.  I will go to the ballpark when the ChiSox come to town this year, and I will root against my team, openly, for the first time in my life, every time he steps to the plate. Because I'll always miss him.

 

Though I should be saddened, I am not.  For the Pirates have landed one of my long time most-admired players, Sean Casey, in a move that brings the Prodigal Son back to his hometown, at least for a season, in hopes that he can rattle balls off of the Clemente Wall until Brad Eldred is ready for the Show.  My new de facto favorite Pirate, Casey represents one hell of a pickup, and hopefully the dawning of a new age of rebirth for my long-troubled ballclub.

 

But that's not all the loss from yesterday.  This one's much bigger.  I've lost the Butch Cassidy to my Sun Dance Kid.  Ladies and Gentlemen of The Kingdom (and my apologies, Boyce, for letting the cat out of the bag) Kupchelitis is engaged.  Le roi est mort...  I would say, "Vive le roi," but who can replace one of the greatest single-guys of all time?  That's a throne that shall remain empty for a long, long time, no matter how much I crow about becoming "Pittsburgh's Bruce Wayne."  Today is a dark day, as a third FEM has fallen this year alone.

 

At least Z and I can keep the faith.

 

In seriousness, though, Congratulations, my dear friend.  I can't pretend to know her well, but Brandi is an intriguing woman (and quite the hottie) who you are obviously insanely in love with, and who obviously adores you as well.  In the end, isn't that what we all want? My envy is palpable.

 

But fear not, for the loss of our Fair King, Mr. Ass.  For he too is about to be re-birthed in a way that I cannot possibly comprehend.  Though I will privately seethe over his wedding date (which will make me miss the return of Andy Van Slyke to Pittsburgh) I will absolutely anxiously look forward to July in Wyoming with unimaginable anticipation.  Ladies, feel free to send Applications to be My Date to the usual address.  I have a feeling this'll be the biggest OX wedding yet. That is, at least, until Jerry and Nat take over in September.

 

__________

 

Now, If I can be serious for a minute...

 

I'd be remiss if I ended this post without a little bit of an explanation of where the hell I've been for so long.  In short, "On hiatus."  Though that makes it sound like a planned absence, it has truly not been so.  Since ending my friendship/life/envolvement/hopes with Carolyn back in October, I've (not suprisingly) been unable and disinterested in writing.  I won't say that "i'd lost my muse," because she had been gone for so long already.  No, it's more like I've had no interest at all in looking inward, being introspective, or taking stock of where I am now.  Instead, I've just been going with the flow, working lots of hours, dating here and there, and just kind of hoping that things line up on their own.  I've been less-and less perceptive of the world around me, leaving me less-and-less to write about.  And I fear I'm starting to fall into a work-sleep-work cycle that has me living for the weekend, instead of enjoying every evening to its fullest.  At least I've identified the issue, and I am hoping to embrace the outside world again.

 

In the meantime, this decidedly c'est la vie/ lassiez-faire attitude has proved to be a happy existence.  My creativity's in a lull right now, and that always bothers me, but I can feel it trying to fight it's way out.  Like, every time i see a pen, i want to draw, but when I try, I just can't. I can tell it's coming, I've just got to either wait it out, or find a new muse... the search continues tonight.

 

Hopefully, I'll be with me again soon. I was reading old posts last night, and I realized just how far the quality of my writing had dropped off around here, and how entertaining I used to be.  That was certainly a byproduct of the amazingly carefree lifestyle I was living this time last year, while enjoying the incredibly fulfilling relationships I had with Jeanie, Kup, and Carolyn, all which have been drastically changed, or altogether lost since that time.  Left behind is an emptiness, it would seem, that my other friends have been unable to fill, due to no fault of their own.  It's okay though- I'm not bellyaching, just trying to figure out what's gone wrong, and how I can move forward from here and continue to evolve without that reliance on others. It's a slow process, but it's absolutely taking hold. For instance, my new favorite part of the week is heading over to the comic shop, on my own (which i used to HATE doing), every Wednesday after work.  I'm starting to get completely comfortable with me, and with life on my own.  And that's an ecouraging thought.

 

Anyway, before I wrap up, I'd like to thank P.Diddy for giving the world Aubrey, Aundrea, and Shannon, also known as the "super-hottie-trio" of whatever his new band's name is going to be.  All three ladies "Made" the Band last night, and I couldn't be happier. Largely because they're hot, and all in different ways. Aubrey is "unattainable superstar hot," Aundrea is "super-cute girl next door who I think I could trick into liking me hot" and Shannon is, quite simply, "Adam Girl" hot.  Thank you, Diddy. 

 

And thank yinz for sticking with me while I get going again.  There's absolutely nothing I want to do less when I get home from work than stare at a computer screen any more. But I'm going to make a concerted effort to start getting back into the groove of writing something here every day.  So come on back, y'hear-- and bring your friends, or former Kingdomites.

 

be good to each other.

-apk 

FRAK THE PIRATES.

The Rob Mackowiak Era has ended in Pittsburgh.

 

 

i have no words.