Something's brewing...
I'm just not sure what.
Life's been sort of frakked up for the better part of six months now. Not in any sort of terrible way, though. It's like...it's like I've been in a humongous rut-- but that this rut is situated right on the edge of a cliff.
No, that's not right.
I've been spinning my wheels in said rut, and I've been doing it while looking towards moving everything forward-- into some sort of new direction. I don't want to get into details yet, because I still can't really write, and there's still not really anything to say. It's like, once everything's resolved, then it's going to happen: an era's going to end, the block's going to be gone, and i'll be ready to face the last six months-- which have been marred by colossal failures.
I'm worried and I'm hopeful and I'm sad and I'm excited, all at the same time. The cumulative effect is one of absolute numbness. Of a steady indifference. Things are eating away at me, but I can't be bothered to acknowledge them, because I'm afraid of what I'm going to see.
That sounds about right.
So anyway, there's a steadily coalescing series of events that give me hope-- though (to mix metaphors) the tunnel i'm in still seems rather long, dautning, and disillusioning. I just want to reach the end, so I can know who the hell i am, where the hell i'm going, and who i want to take with me. Mostly, though, I just want to know what i have to say about it all.
-apk
Life's been sort of frakked up for the better part of six months now. Not in any sort of terrible way, though. It's like...it's like I've been in a humongous rut-- but that this rut is situated right on the edge of a cliff.
No, that's not right.
I've been spinning my wheels in said rut, and I've been doing it while looking towards moving everything forward-- into some sort of new direction. I don't want to get into details yet, because I still can't really write, and there's still not really anything to say. It's like, once everything's resolved, then it's going to happen: an era's going to end, the block's going to be gone, and i'll be ready to face the last six months-- which have been marred by colossal failures.
I'm worried and I'm hopeful and I'm sad and I'm excited, all at the same time. The cumulative effect is one of absolute numbness. Of a steady indifference. Things are eating away at me, but I can't be bothered to acknowledge them, because I'm afraid of what I'm going to see.
That sounds about right.
So anyway, there's a steadily coalescing series of events that give me hope-- though (to mix metaphors) the tunnel i'm in still seems rather long, dautning, and disillusioning. I just want to reach the end, so I can know who the hell i am, where the hell i'm going, and who i want to take with me. Mostly, though, I just want to know what i have to say about it all.
-apk
