DAILY DOSE: "Can I get just a little bit of power"

Greetings all, by the time you read this, I'll be well on my way the Nexus of All Evil, Boston, MA. By the way-- John Kerry called the Red Sox "America's Team" today, so I'm officially voting Bush. Anywho, as you all know, I'm out of town until Tuesday, so I'm going to save my arm for the post-Election PostSeason, and let my Lil' Bro pitch a few innings in relief. It is, afterall, his 21st Birthday on Saturday, and I'm going to miss it (no fears, Frat Guys, I'm not shirking responsibilities, he's decidedly booze-free. Something I hope to remedy come next weekend). So, without further ado, I give you Danny B. Goode. Try not to kill anyone while I'm gone

-apk

Good evening everyone. In my brothers absence I am taking over. After a long day of waking up, schedualing my classes in the hell that is the Pitt Johnstown Registrar Office, going back to bed, waking up for one of my classes, then kicking it old school by playing video games all day, I've decided to post something. With such a busy weekend ahead of me due to birthday festivities (mine - the big 21) interviews for the summer, and hanging out with friends, I decided to let go of my personal life and give a peice of my mind on politics.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm all about freedom of speech, I'm all for making your own opinion. But I swear if one more close minded person crosses my path that doesn't want to see differences based on culture, location, age, property, education, and income, I might spit a brick! From the most self centered professor on the face of the earth, Clark Strausser, to a good friend from home, I am surrouned by people who refuse to see the resoning behind liberal views. Yes I am a liberal (in a sense) however I don't support many Democratic issues such as abortion, BUT I see logic in issues with taxes and the economy. I have nothing against Republicans or a conservative view, I have problems with the ignorant, liberal and conservative alike. It boggles my mind to think that Clark Strausser could be so well educated, well enough to be teaching at UPJ mind you (that's humor), but he can't seem to comprehend human nature and desires. Then you have my friend at home who simply has a high school education, and knows nothing but human desires and what is preached to him at my church. Yes he does educate himself, yet he closes his eyes to the simple facts that the gov't is corrupt, and always will be, and that people in poor living situations didn't get that way by being lazy. Plenty of lazy people are rich, and plenty are poor, that isn't the issue. The issue is equal oppertunity. Yes there is a lack of it among race and sex, which is getting much better but its still there, but more so there is a lack of oppertunity based on education and demographics. Whether your a movie star or a biological scientist, chances are you either had famous people all around you to get you into hollywood, or you went to a highschool with a solid educational department which helped you learn enough to score high on the SATs and get you into MIT. Some of the smartest kids I know and have ever met go here, some go to bigger schools throughout the area, however how many people do YOU know from highschool that you thougth were brilliant that go to Harvard? The point of the matter is simply that oppertunity is sometimes earned, but sometimes provided out of luck or divine intervention, whichever you'd like to call it. So I believe our gov't should recognize such diversity across a nation, whether is a poor kid in the middle of West Virgina or a boy living in Harlem with nothing to eat but off brand Cheerios. Sometimes oppertunity is slowed down by parents and the society around a child, and if we refuse to see that, then nothing will change. These close minded men and women of America believe it to be a land of success and oppertunity, Yet I see it as a land in which we ignore the real problems. Now I guess the question is, Is it the U.S. Governments job to regulate such oppertunity through tax rates and programs desigined to provide solid education and living conditions. That is the topic up for debate, not the lazyness of the human soul.

So in closing to my political/social rant.... Just be open to thought and change in opinion. listen to eachother and eachothers views.... I'm not asking you to change your view, but atleast be willing to listen to another's point and the reasoning as to where there passion comes from. Then compare both sides, and make a judgement for yourself. Neither side is absolutely correct, and the arguements will go on until the Armagedon Adam so elegantly described yesterday arrives. But none the less, in the words of He-Man "I have the power." So I wrote about what was on my mind.

--- Did not mean to offend anyone and these are simply things on my mind, not me judging anyone or their views. Please, take no offense to anything I said if you disagree on a political view or just everything I said. Feel free to post rebutles because I am interested in hearing them, there are 5 days left to change my mind before the election. And remeber these are not the views of my brother Adam, just my own sick twisted thoughts.

As for the link of the day...
Here it is http://latinoreview.com/scoops/brandon-superman.html Now I don't know much about the site, but it holds the information which I wanted to share with the world of who the new mild manner reporter is going to be. And the info is correct, I read it elsewhere last night. check IMDB.com if you want. Anyways, good luck supes, hope this movie hasn't just be a retitle for the ever famous "Catwoman"

Now the name of my post comes at two for the price of one. The song sends the message across which I like to believe in, and it goes along with my He-man quote by conataining the word power. I am not on a power trip by any means, its just coisidence. So here is your Song of the Day provided by one of my most favorite bands, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, check out "Power of Equality" from Blood Sugar Sex Magik or atleast check out the lyrics at sing365.com Not only is it relevant to my post, but it rocks.

Anyways thats enough ranting and raving for one night, now I'm gonna go do the same over dinner with some friends down stairs.

So until I am given the chance to take a second walk down the street of fame....
take care
-dan-

EARLY DOSE: "LEONARD BERNSTEIN!!!"

Well, at least that puts an end to most annoying trend in sports: the Passion of the 'Red Sox Nation.'

Someday, maybe I'll discuss why there are so many cities that have it so much worse, but in the meantime, a Kingdom Tip of the Cap to all you Sox fans out there for steamrolling my 2d Favourite Baseball Team. If I were one to believe in fate/destiny, I'd say it was just your year. But let's face it, that team full of morons and clowns seized the day far more than the Upright Citizen's Brigade that is the StL Cards.

In any event, in honour of the incredibly bad taste in my mouth right now, and in notice of the fact that I'll probably boycott most of my favourite Internet sites over the next day or two, and upon recognition of the fact that I'm actually HEADED to Boston in two days, there will be NO Link of the Day today. I just... I just don't have the strength. Instead, direct your attention below to this week's (admittedly, lacksadaysical) Rules.

There WILL be a Song of the Day, today, though. Let's face another thing: the Yough Cougars football team is in the Playoffs. The Red Sox are World Champions (i'm going to vomit... just a second...) ... ... Trip is a Puss, and there's just a HOST of other randomally ass-backwards things going on in the universe right now. Thus, it is certain that the Apocalypse is before us. Since I'm almost SURE that no one will read this tomorrow, because there won't BE a tomorrow, the Song of the Day is REM's "It's the End of the World as We Know It (and I feel fine)."

In honesty, it doesn't hurt a TENTH as much as if the Buccos had lost, but it's still a little disheartening. Especially losing to the team I despise like no other. But will I despise them tomorrow? I mean, their fans are just ordinary fans now, aren't they?? Ordinary. Obnoxious fans. Like Philly Flyer fans. Actually, now they've become what they've hated most: a super-over-priced team that bought their way to a championship. What now, for the Red Sox, I wonder? Perhaps they are simply the next in a long line to realize that being "normal" is just not that good.

Ho, hum. Before I wax too poetically about baseball (something I could do OnDemand), I'll get back to working on this brief that's due tomorrow, and hoping that a big, hulking asteroid doesn't mow us all down in our sleep.

Just in case though, I love you ALL.
(except YOU, Johnny Damon, Pedro Martinez, Bronson Arroyo, and Manny Ramirez. You're all FREAKING CLOWNS!)*

-apk

*notice: The Kingdom Proudly salutes the following Red Sox that WILL be accepting rings next spring: Former Pirates we loved Pokey Reese and Adam "the Mayor of Altoona" Hyzdu; blue-collar badass and Olympic Gold Medalist Doug Mentkiewicz; and straight-up balls to the wall Curt Schilling. The rest of the m can die of ghonorrea, and rot in hell.

FRLG (ii): Rules (i) Promulgated, Notice and Comment for 10/28/04

Hey everyone! Now that my little bit of geek-laden dimensia has passed, let's get to the important stuff-- the new batch of FUNDAMENTAL RULES FOR LIFE AS A GUY.

But first-- a little something about the Pizz on his birthday. Kristofer Popelas and I go back to the second grade. We've been close and not-so-close, and we've had our ups and downs. Let me just say that becoming one of his best friends as he has become one of mine has been one of the most pleasant surprises of my last three years here in the 'Burgh. I always knew we'd be tight, but I never realized how much we'd both grow up together in this time. It's been a hell of a ride, and I hope it continues. So remember everyond, it's K-to the Pizz-O, P-E to the L-A, add an 'S' and get your damn hands up!!! Happy Birthday, Pizz, and much love.

Okay, here's the promulgated rules from last week-- thank you for your comments, and some proposed rules for the next week. I didn't get a chance to use some of the ideas from the comments last week, because I'm so pressed for time. Don't worry, I'll get to it all soon enough. Corey and Banner, perhaps we'll put together next week's proposed rules at the wedding. Well, Marc and Kujo too, at that.

Hope you enjoy, let me know what you think!

Girls
-All girls look cuter with scarves.

[Comments]
This rule only applies from autumn to early spring, when temperatures are predictably cool. Scarves are unacceptable during the summer months because it means that a girl is wearing too much clothing for the season. Which means she’s weird.

-Proposed Rule: Under no circumstances should you date a girl that has already dated one of your friends.

Clothes

-Wearing the same team’s jersey and hat at the same time (“doubling up”) is entirely unacceptable, UNLESS:

1) You are attending that team’s game in PERSON; OR
2) You are attending a party in which the focus is that team’s game (example: Super Bowl Party); OR
3) You are attending a bar within a five-block radius of that team’s Home Stadium, while their AWAY game is in progress

CHAMPIONSHIP EXCEPTION: It is ENTIRELY ACCEPTABLE to wear as much team paraphernalia as possible during the week up to, the day of, and the day AFTER the team is playing in a Championship, so long as the team is your HOME team.

[Comment]
Generally, doubling up is discouraged with ANY team shirt, not just jerseys. The hardline rule applies only to jerseys though. Other situations require the wearer’s careful discretion. Beware that you may look like a tool.

If the team is at HOME, and you’ve been unable to procure tickets, tough shit. You can’t double up in the bar. You are encouraged to wear your “second string” team shirt (either a t-shirt or sweatshirt) and a hat. The exception to this is during a playoff game.


-Proposed Rule: Never trust a man who wears sandals when it’s less than 50 degrees out. Thus, NEVER wear sandals when it’s less than 50 degrees out.

SPORTS

-It is NEVER acceptable to root against your home team.

[Comments]
I don’t care if your Fantasy Team is going to win $10,000 if your home team loses. Rooting against your home team is entirely unacceptable.

Proposed Rule: [The FRLG hereby ask for comments RE: how to determine what your home team is. Rules should apply to the following sports: MLB, NBA, NHL, NFL, NCAA FB, & NCAA BB]

ETIQUITTE:

-Urinal Etiquette:
- If the urinal dividers are present, or a trough system is fully in effect, none of these rules apply.

1) If there is no line:
-and there are an odd number of urinals:
-it is entirely unacceptable to chose an even-numbered urinal
-you must pick an end urinal, and subsequent users must move inward, alternating urinals.
-it is entire unacceptable to stand next to another man
-look up, or straight forward, never over.
-only talk if someone else on the urinal bank is:
-a relative
-a friend of at least one year
-whistling is unacceptable
2) If there IS a line:
- you should first fill in the urinals first [it is more important to keep the line moving than to respect personal space. This most normally applies at bars, school (in between classes) and the ballpark]
- if all the urinals are in use, using a stall, if available, is encouraged.
- if all the urinals and stalls are in use, beginning making a line behind individuals, following the rules above, as if there was no line
- the sink is for use in only the most desperate of circumstances, and ONLY in a bar.

[Comment] Use of the sink is strongly discouraged, yet the FRLG realize that sometimes, there’s no way to get around it. I was once at a bar where the line was significantly longer than the women’s room. A situation which is embarrassing to men everywhere. The line was so long because the toilet had become plugged with toilet paper, and was thus out of use, leaving a single, solitary urinal for an entire three-story bar’s worth of male patrons. Left with a choice, we did the only thing we could, other than invade the women’s room. For the record, trough rules DO NOT apply to the sink. It’s one man at a time. And sword-fighting is only acceptable in frat houses under desperate circumstances. Finally, I once saw a patron of this website use a bathtub, under the most dire of circumstances. Though funny at the time, this is extremely frowned upon.

-Proposed Rule: No matter how much money she has, or how little you have, it is NEVER acceptable to let your date pay on at LEAST the first five dates. [Have fun with this one, kids—it’s strict and vague to spark discussion.]

All righty, then. It's time for me to get this work done, so I can go to the comic shop and even go out for Kris's birthday tonight (It's not like the Series matters)!

-apk

DAILY DOSE: "Sometimes I Wish That It Would Rain Here."

FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS: HAPPY BIRTHDAY PIZZ!!!

Welcome one, welcome All, to the Daily Dose.
And welcome, I think, to Tomayto tomato-Schirayto Schirato, the Jere-bear himself! (I mean, I don't know anyone else who'd be visiting from Vanderbilt).

Okay, Okay, like I warned you, there was no FRLG today/yesterday. Sorry. It was a busy day that went to shit like it was going out of style. Things were good ALLLLLL the way up until I got home, then, the Cards decided to continue to suck at life, and go down (0-3). Luckily, the BoSox have taught me that ANYTHING is possible. But let's be honest. It's. All. Over.

Everyone-- prepare for the asteroid that's about to hit the planet. For when the Red Sox win the Series, the end is nye.

To make matters worse, after the game I finally got around to watching last week's episode of one of my favourite shows, Enterprise. I know, I know.. Star Trek geek, blah blah. Just blame it all on my dad. Anyway, so there's MY BOY, Trip Tucker, chief engineer of the ship, who's the closest thing Trek's come to a Han Solo. He's no Captain Kirk, but he's basically one of my favourite characters over the course of the franchise. So he's finally got something going with the super-hottie Vulcan, T'Pol, despite a 3-year love/hate relationship. He takes a trip with her back to her homeworld (note to non-geeks, T'Pol is played by the POSITIVELY GORGEOUS Jolene Blaylock, who's SO hot, that Kup will even watch this show, just to see her.) .

Well, long story short, T'Pol (the hottie) is bethrothed to your run-of-the-mill "i'm the douchebag fiancee our parents arranged for you to marry," and in order for her to regain honour for her family (specifically, her mother), she agrees to marry him, even though she doesn't love him, and obviously has feelings for Trip (Even though she's never really told him about them).

So yeah, right before the wedding, T'Pol's mom calls Trip on his feelings for her, and tells him to come clean and tell her, so she knows before she does anything. And what does Trip do?

CHICKEN OUT. Well, not even that. He's all "she's under enough pressure. what if she doesn't marry him for me? And what if she DOES marry him, despite the fact that I love her??"

So the episode ends with T'Pol marrying the douche, and Trip JUST STANDING THERE. Basically, the equivalent of Han Solo telling Chewbacca to test the Carbonite pit, because he'd rather join the Empire.

Okay... slow down, I know, you're all thinking... "WHAT A GEEK!" Well, duh. If you didn't know that coming in, tough shit. Moving on, let's just talk about how my faith in the universe is being shattered right now. Not only are the Red Sox ROLLING OVER THE CARDINALS, but the whole "end of the curse thing" is harrowing enough, let alone now that Trip is a flat-out puss, I'm afraid to watch my Star Wars DVDs, because I'm pretty sure Harrison's been edited out of the end of the first Death Star battle, Luke misses the target, and Yavin is obliterated. Thus, Empire and Jedi are reduced to the equivilent of a P.Diddy Video, as Grand Moff Tarkin and Vader sip Crys and Mack Hoes like it's goin' out of style. Though that might actually be cool.... you get the picture.

I mean, I PUSS OUT IN REAL LIFE ALL THE TIME--- I DON'T NEED MY HEROES TO DO IT, TOO!!!

wow. this week is really straining... I gotta go.

Oh yeah- song of the day: Yellowcard (I know, I know, Jeanie, MORE YELLOWCARD???) with "Back Home." I like it. And sometimes, I just wish that it would rain here.

And YOUR Link of the Day is ummm... i dunno. oh! here! this is great! I wish Pirates fans would get together with initives like this. Which is why I'm going to start "KeepChuckNunez.com" WHO'S WITH ME!?!?

http://www.keepbeltran.com/

yes. I'm delerious.
yes. I have TONS of work to do tomorrow.
yes. I'm not even CLOSE to getting to Boston.
yes, my faith in the universe is slowly deteriorating. What's it going to take for me to fix it? Any ideas? Do I have to suddenly step up? Do I have to be a hero?

scary. scary.
talk to yinz later. Rules soon, Promise.
-apk

DAILY DOSE: "Oh I'm just a friend. That's all I've ever been. 'Cause you don't know me."

Welcome back to the Kingdom, loyal readers. I'm REALLY strapped for time today, because I've got a memo due before my negotiation in a little more than 2 hours. This is going to take a Herculean push on my part, to GET 'ER DONE. So, the FRLG are going to be a little delayed today. Don't fret, though, I should be able to get to them sometime this early evening, as I'm stuck here at school until after 8:30, because I've got a meeting with my "Pretend Your a Lawyer" Professors. I'll get the rules done ASAP, though. However, there might be a delay until the 'morrow. Try not to get too depressed.

With that out of the way- here's your Daily Dose!

The Link of the Day was actually hard for me to come up with, for once, so I'm just going to punt and send you all to the site of my most anticipated movie of the fall The Incredibles! It looks increasingly awesome, and I hope you all get a big of a kick out of the website as I do. It comes out next weekend!

http://disney.go.com/disneypictures/incredibles/intro.html

Okay, and your Song of the Day, if you couldn't tell by the title of the post, is Ray Charles's "You Don't Know Me." Sort of in honor of the movie "Ray" coming to theatres toot suite, but mostly because it's the story of my life. Give 'er a download, and enjoy, cuz it's just some damn good stuff. It popped up on the ol' WinAmp this morning, and it's been in me' noggin' ever since.

Hope y'all have a great day, I'll be back soon, with any luck. But ugh. Tonight's going to suck. There's SO much work to be done...

-apk

MONDAY HANGOVER: "What's Good for the Goose is Good for the Gander!"

Okay, 0-2. But at least the Cards are headed home. I’ve got two big questions for Tony LaRussa, though:

1) If Shilling is pitching crippled, and you’ve got one of the speediest, best bunting teams in baseball, umm… why not bunt? Like, a lot? And make the crippled pitcher who had MacGyver figure out a way to hold his ankle together with duct tape, bailing wire, and chewing gum, actually, you know, MOVE AROUND THE INFIELD? Can anyone help me with this?

2) If Matt Morris, the Krissy Benson of the Cardinals, pitches about 26x better at HOME than on the ROAD, why do you start him in BOSTON for Game 2, instead of The Lou for Game 3? Was it just a matter of the rotation working out? NO! They even said it was the FIRST TIME IN HIS CAREER he pitched on short rest. So dammit. Let him pitch games 3 and 7! NOT 2 and 6 (both on the road.)!

This is why he lost 2 out of 3 Series in the late 80’s.
Thank GOD the Pirates aren’t in The Series, or I’d be going insane at this point.

Moving on, welcome to the Monday Hangover, brought to you today by Bill’s quote (today’s title) which had something to do with women’s lingerie or personal stimulation devices. Trust me, it was really funny at the time, and was easily last night’s Quote of the Night.

As for the weekend? Well, it was super-fun in some respects, mega-disappointing in others. A tough call, but I think we’ll call this one a keeper. Highs included traipsing about Huntingdon, PA with two Bills (one Wild, one Bostonian) on Friday night, Tailgreating at State on Saturday, and hanging out with Bill, Kup, Adrienne, and AliMac last night. Super-highs include NY Strip Steak with Crab on it Saturday evening at Mimi’s in Huntingdon. It’s official: Crab tastes good with everything. Props on the weekend go out to :

TEAM: Kupchella for being amazing hosts and taking too good of care of me.
The PSU Defense
Kup and Bill for the usual tomfoolery
Adrienne for being my Catch Phrase partner and kicking ass.
AliMac for successfully navigating treacherous “Adam is Insane during the Series” waters, sporting the St. Lou hat all evening (rather effectively, at that), and not asking why there was no coin toss. Well played, AliMac, well played.
Buff for being a money friend.
Lara for not booting on anyone.

That should do it.
Lows, of course, include (0-2) and (6-4) The first is the Cards’ record, thus far, in the Series. It’s not quite time to panic, but we’re getting there. It’d be nice if Rolen and Edmonds weren’t sucking balls. The second number, there, was THE SCORE OF THE PENN STATE GAME! I swear, I thought I was at a tennis match. It was both the best defensive football game I’ve ever seen (the effort turned in by PSU’s D was Herculean, to say the least), while the Offense of the Nits was downright Offensive. I’ve NEVER seen a WORSE Offensive performance. It was mighty strange being there. Sort of like two different teams were playing. We’d cheer our asses off for the D, and boo the hell out of the O. I officially retract my offer to Zack Mills, from two years ago, to be my dad. He sucks. So does Robinson. It’s Morelli time in the Valley, kiddos! And Fire Jay Paterno!
As Taylor said it best, “I think PSU should just punt on first down, and give the Defense more time to score.”

This week should be overwhelmingly tiring. Not only do I have work, class, and plans for this evening, I’ve got a huge negotiation for class tomorrow (to be TAPED) that I’ve not started prepping for, a memo to write in preparation for it, my first Bar Review course on Thursday, and all kinds of other random odds and ends as I prepare for our TRIP TO BOSTON for the Goffers’ wedding to Julia Guglia!

We’re headed out on Friday (car make/model: TBA) and will get there in time for Broms’ woman’s All Hallow’s Eve party! Didn’t think I’d get to dress up this year, so I’m very excited to bring the Indiana Jones costume out one more time, for all the ladies in the house! The wedding should be ridiculous, and then, hopefully, the Stillers will end the Patsies winning streak (which would, to be honest, mean more to me than the Cards potentially winning a Game 7 that night.)

BTW: There’s a REALLY good chance we’ll be in Boston when the Sox win their first Championship in 86 years. That has not truly registered with me yet. I hope I don’t get shot.

Okay, back to work for me, and much love for yous.
Be good to each other, FUNDAMENTAL RULES will be at hand tomorrow! So it’s your last chance to post comments on last weeks Proposed Rules. I’m also taking suggestions for new topics of discussion.

-apk

DAILY DOSE: "On Monday, I am waiting..."

Happy Monday, friends.

Yeah, I know. Mondays suck. But never fear! The Dose is here! I'll be back in a little while with YOUR Monday Hangover, in the meantime, today's Dose is an ALL ASHLEE SIMPSON Edition! First up, is the Song of the Day: "Pieces of Me." This song is SO BAD that Kup and I love it, and can't turn it off of the radio. If you want to know more about my feelings about Ashlee, head on over to the archive links, and look for my I AM THE LAW! concerning this magnificiently strange and talentless young lady. That being said, I can't help but sing along to this dreadful song. It's not the first time I've been guilty of finding hilarity in the misfortune of others, but it's one of the only times I've been able to do it singing!

Speaking of finding hilarity in the misfortune of others, I bring you the Link of the Day: Ashlee Simpson on SNL. Apparently, poor Ashlee experienced some technical difficulties on her second song the other night, which was finely brought to my attention by Jeanette. She went out to sing her second song, however, the techs in the booth cued up the wrong Lip-Synch track! To make matters worse, her band started playing along to the wrong song! Oh, the Humanity! Ashlee, showing herself to be a performance veteran worthy of a spot on SNL stepped up and went with the flow, knocking the performance out of the park! Or not. Instead, she does a STUPID Irish Gig, gets embarrassed, and sneaks off stage. The best part is probably when SNL gives up and cuts to the most ridiculous picture of Jude Law, ever. It's as though he was smoking in the back during the performance, and they took a live picture of him as they suddenly had to go to commercial. Funny stuff. To top it all off, I heard that she BLAMED HER BAND for playing the wrong song at the end of the show, proving herself to be a self-centered, spoiled little harpy.

here's the link (I hope it still works)
www.collegehumor.com/news/ashlee_snl.wmv

And for you Ashlee fans out there (both of you) you can direct your anger towards Jeanette, whose negative vibes permeated the stratosphere, made thier way to New York, and single-handedly attempted to ruin a young girl's career. Props for negativity!

Okay, kids, I'll be back soon.
Lunch is in the oven.
-apk

FRIDAY PREGAME: "FIGHT ON STATE!"

Hey friends, I'm pissed!

And no, it's not because I'm a Republican. Remember-- Republicans are rich. Rich = happy. Instead, I'm pissed because a day full of TA papering, falling behind on my REAL work, and coming down with some sort of flu-like symptoms has just been capped off by in a manner that I don't really want to get into. I just want to say that I'm pissy now, and warn you that it's going to cast a cloud over everything I write here for YOUR Weekend Pregame.

In a matter of minutes I'll be hopping the 68J and be headin' on back home to the Fo' just long enough to pack an overnight bag and head to Huntington with Adam Boyce. We'll spending the evening probably raising hell around throughout the Pennsyltucky T with his dad, the apt-named Wild Bill Kupchelitis. Hinjinks always ensue, and are always worth the price of admission. Go ahead, be jealous.

Tomorrow, we're taking in my first Penn State game since the drudging of Nebraska over two years ago. I have a particular distaste for Iowa, cuz they always seem to beat the Nits anymore, so it should be a good time. Hopefully, it'll just be a good game. I expect we'll head back home Saturday evening in hopes of catching Game One of the Series. I'll also be TAing papers all Saturday night-- I know, my life is awesome.

Since Sunday's a bye-week, I'll be looking forward to letting out some of this pissiness when I whomp all over Jeanie's ass on the R-Ball court. Consider yourself warned.

There's ALL KINDS of gaps in there where I'm available for fun stuff- you know the number to call, so get crackin'! My social calendar fills up fast.

In the meantime, I'm going to leave y'all with a quote from my favourite book, Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird. "Tidiness suggests that things are as good as they're going to get."

All I have to say is, Thank God my life's a mess.

Okay, enjoy the weekends, friends. Let me know what you're up to!
-apk

BONUS DOSE: "I'VE BEEN HAD!"

Well, here you go. This is the answer I've been looking for. Last month sometime, I was going to lunch with Danielle was I was randomally asked to sign a petition to get medical marijuana in PA. The guy threw me some convincing facts about why it was important, blah blah, and as I lark, I signed it. As a good conservative-liberal, I'm always willing to back a worthy cause with my signature. Well, guess what happens, I'm a Republican now.

Students have parties switched by bogus petitions

Stay tuned to the Kingdom for further developments regarding my quest to become a Democrat again. I'll be calling the Voter Registration Office on Monday.

-apk

I AM THE LAW!: "Yankees Fans, Don't Fret!"

Well, Yankees Fans, the time has come to embrace the Cardinals. If you hate the Sox like I do, or just don't know who to root for, here's you Kingdom-approved "I'm a Cardinals fan for the next ten days Crib Sheet."

aka: why, if you don't know who to root for, you should root for the Redbirds.

I realize since they play in America's heartland, and rarely get any press/respect (they WERE picked to finish third in the Central this year) y'all may not realize why they're so worthy of being rooted for.1)

They're the NL Yankees
-they've won more World Series than any team in the NL. But only one in the last 35 years.-if their fans aren't the best in BASEBALL, they're the best in the NL. Always loud, always a full house, and ALWAYS decked in red. Plus, I think that I saw someone holding a Thunderstick in Game 1 of the NLCS get the shit kicked out of them.
-they're classy as the day is long. The unis have basically stayed the same since WWI, the ownership's classy and highly regarded, and all the players could be Yankees tomorrow: (ie: nice haircuts, clean shaven, hard nosed) this is a team you take home to mom (like the Yanks) not the circus (like the Boston freakshow).
-I'm pretty sure Torre used to coach them, and if Torre's not the best manager in baseball (which i think he is), then LaRussa (who, admittedly, can be a dick) IS. He's changed the entire way the game is played (for better or worse) over the last twenty years, and is a master tactician. If you like baseball-as-chess, LaRussa's your boy.

They play old school ball
-Although they bash the fuck out of the ball, putting it over the fence like it's going out of style, they can, as has become my catchphrase "beat you so many ways." NO TEAM runs the bases or plays smarter small-ball than the Cards. I know none of you watched Game 7 last night, but early, down 2 runs, they SQUEEZED in a run! Who Squeezes? Did anyone see the Sox try to bunt all series? Truly sad. They also mind-fucked Clemens into self-destructing last night, soley thanks to their running game. Plus- there's not a single player in baseball that bats better with Two strikes than Albert Pujols. But we'll get to him later.

A beer company used to own them.
-Sure, it's Anheuser-Busch, but whatever. It's better than the "former owners of the Florida Marlins." Need I remind you that the company that brings us Natty Lite is basically responsible for the St. Louis Cardinals.

No Theo Epstien, no faux-moneyball.
-Just Walt Jocketty, the best GM in baseball that gets absolutely no credit. Look at the castoffs he's brought to the team over the last six years:

Jim Edmonds (whom NO ONE wanted at the time, because they questioned his heart.)
Tony Womack (the only position player to ever have Tommy John surgery, everyone thought he was done. Last night, he showed how tough he was, making big play after big play WITH back spasms) Okay- i know you Yanks fans probably hate Womack from the 2001 WS, but you gotta let it go.
Daryl Kile (everyone gave him up for dead in Colorado. And although I just set up a REALLY bad joke there, I'm not even going to go after it.)
Reggie Sanders (the PIRATES didn't want him this year, and he's still gone out and had a sweet-ass year.)
Jeff Suppan (traded by the Bucs to the Sox, the Sox thought it better to keep Bronson fuckin Arroyo and his blonde cornrows than one of the classiest, smartest ballplayers I've ever heard give an interview). It's payback time...

The list goes on and on.

DEFENSE.
-They're starting nine has something like.. I dunno 22 gold gloves among them? They won four of the nine in the NL just last year.
-While we're talking defense, let's talk about the how TOUGH this team is. Look at the gritty blue-collar type players they have (as opposed to Jehri curl wearing, long-haired hippie nutbars):
Scott Rolen
Jim Edmonds
Albert Pujols
Mike Matheny
Larry Walker
Steve Kline
Edgar Renteria (SUPER-CLUTCH, who had a terrible NLCS, look for him to bust-out at the WS)
Julian Tavarez (who, admittedly, is a short-haired latin nutbar: he tried to rip the bullpen phone off the wall the other night, broke his had, didn't bitch about it, came out and threw lights out in Game 6 and 7: he's the Anti-Kevin Brown.)
Ray KingIf Biggie Smalls was a smoke throwing setup man, he'd look like this.


Albert Pujols (pronounced POOL-olse).
-They don't have Mark McGwire at first anymore, actually, they have someone BETTER. He's the best all-around hitter in baseball right now. I don't know how old he REALLY is, but statistically, NO ONE has ever had a better four-year run to start a career than him. NO ONE. He also can play four positions (LF, RF, 3B, 1B). He's clutch as all hell. He hit .500 for the NLCS.

SO Taguchi, the token Asian Player.
-take a second and say it out loud, "He's SOoooooooooooooooo Taguchi." That's just SOoooooooooooo Taguchi... fun, isn't it?

St Louis is one of the best, if not THE best baseball city in America.
-Free Agents go there because once they're traded there, they never want to leave. Only Boston, New York, and the Cubs are as ingrained in their cities' consciousness. However, there's other stuff to do in Boston and Chicago. St. Louis offers the Rams and Blues, but those teams barely have a following there, because everyone ADORES the Cardinals so much.
-I dont' want to hear about the long-suffering Red Sox fans. I know the Cards have won he second-most World Series of anyone, but none since 1982, which was the only one since they beat the Sox in 1967. The Sox haven't been there since 1986? Well, the Cards haven't been there since 1987.
-They also have the 10th highest payroll in baseball, because guys take paycuts to play there, and they find diamonds in the rough. By the way, all you Yankee haters who hate cuz they "buy their team" should note that the 81 Million the Cards pay this year is only slightly lower than the Red Sox.. if you consider over 40 MILLION DOLLARS slightly lower. The Cardinals could add THE ENTIRE PIRATES ROSTER to their payroll, and STILL not reach the Red Sox.

And finally:
EXTEND THE CURSE!

that should do. If anyone else out there still doesn't know who to root for, let me know, and I'll try to shed a little more light on the situation for you.

The Verdict? I think the Cards are more solid/less question-riddled all around the diamond. Isringhausen scares me, though. After the Yankees series, either Boston is wiped, or feels indestructible. I think the Cards are in for a fight, and I REALLY think it goes 7. It'll be interesting to see how things shakes out in games 3-5, because Ortiz or Millar ends up on the bench, serverely hurting the Sox lineup without a DH. However, Francona has NL Experience, just as LaRussa has AL Experience. LaRussa's teams have a history of choking in the Series though. This is going to be a good one, but I gotta go with my boys, and say:

Cardinals in Seven

In the meantime, be good to each other! and GO CARDS!
-apk

DAILY DOSE: "The Wheels of Steel are Turning!"

Good morning every one, and now it's time for your Daily Dose. I've got LOADS to do at work today, but I just wrote up what's basically an "I AM THE LAW!" about the St. Louis Cardinals. So you'll probably get to see that later this afternoon. The Friday Pregame may be interesting, as well. We'll see if I get a chance to write that out. I've got a half-dozen papers to TA today though, so we'll see...

Speaking of the Cards-- WOOOOO! It's the FIRST TIME I have a team to root for in the World Series, instead of a team to root against. Truly, I've always supported the Yankees in their runs, but never actively really rooted for them because I love them. It's was always more like "I hate the Mets" or "I hate the Braves" or "I hate Barry Bonds." But not this year! Now I've got my favourite non-PGH team against The Team I Hate More Than Any Other. It's going to go 7, I think, and I'll even be in Boston when it does. Let's GO CARDS!

Which leads me to my LINK OF THE DAY: This is the first addition to my Christmas List (hopefully, though, I'll have to amend it in a week or two, if you get my drift).

MLB.com shop

The link of the day was originally going to be Jeanie's insightful look into the Couchers. The lazy-posse of game show watching law students I've come to lead, but an NL Championship is an NL Championship! Maybe Monday.

And today's ALL CARDINAL DAILY DOSE wouldnt' be complete without the Song of the Day, "We Like to Party" by the Vengaboys. Not only is it the Official Dance Song of D-Generation OX (a GREAT idea for Bows & Toes: Behind the Music: the pledges of D-OX), but it's also the "SOMETHING AWESOME JUST HAPPENED AT BUSCH STADIUM!" song. Which is WAY cooler than the "Hey song!" everyone uses (I believe it's really called "Rock&Roll #2" or something. But you get the point. C'mon Yankees fans! Get revenge! the Vengabus is coming!

Talk you yinz soon. Try not to miss me.
-apk

THURSDAY HANGOVER: "I thought I had the market on being me cornered...who knew?"

Okay, I'm having an Identity Crisis of my own. Apparently, now I'm a member of the GOP.

I lamented to a few of you sometime last month that I'd recently been one-upped at, well, being ME, but this is ridiculous. I came home just now, after a long, hard-fought day of Law School to find the strangest mail day of all time(s).

First, I opened up a letter that was obviously from a big d'ahn t'ahn law firm. Okay, a medium-sized d'ahn t'ahn law firm, to find that they truly enjoyed meeting with me at the law school recently, but that I didn't fit into their future plans, and they unfortunately couldn't hire me at this time. "So what, Adam, you get rejection letters all the time." Good observation, my friend, and 'tis true. I mean, I've never gotten a letter from a firm that wasn't a rejection. But the thing is: I NEVER INTERVIEWED WITH THIS FIRM! I mean, I remember submitting information to them (resume, writing sample, etc...) but was never even scheduled for an on-campus interview with them! Who the hell went to that interview? And why didn't he do a better job of playing me?!?!

My other piece of weirdness mail was a new voter registration card from the Allegheny County Voter whatever you call it. I'm willing to accept that I changed my registration back in August when I renewed my license, though I don't recall actually changing. I mean, I had plans to go back home and vote in Hutchy on Election Day. At least it'll be more convienent. But HERE'S the kicker-- it has me registered as a REPUBLICAN! Who the hell pretended to be me, went to the voter registration center place, checked me off as a blackhearted conservative, then headed to my interview with aforementioned law firm? I'm beyond astounded. It PAINS me to be a registered (R) (even though i've voted that way in the past...), but I'm too scared that trying to change now will screw me up for the election. So I must remain an elephant for a week or so. Even though I have a DNC Donkey-Logo mouspad! Does this screw up my travel plans to the Goff/Guglia wedding? Do they even LET Republicans into Massachusettes?

My dad did manage to find the silver lining to the whole shebang though, when he noted that "at least the Republicans will get one less vote than they were counting on."

Well alrighty kids, I'm out for now, it's GAME 7 time. As in "the Game 7 I actually really care about." I have to determine which hat (Cards or Stros?) to wear to Boston next week.

In the meantime, a little advice-- if you want to get a girl to fall in love with you, just tell her that you'd never kick a pigeon at her face. Trust me on this.

Until next time, I remain,
-apk

DAILY DOSE: "You don't know how you got here, you just know you want out/ Believin' in yourself almost as much as you doubt."

Hey everybody!

Sorry there was no big post yesterday, but what do you expect from me? It was comic book day, and there was a Kerry rally. Identity Crisis continues to be awesome, if not a little predictable, we'll see how the last two issues shape up. The rally was a bust. Jeanie, Sprout and I stood in line for two hours, got half way to the gate, and gave up. At the very least, that's a good sign. NOT as good as the "Vote Bush" sign being held by the hot blonde in her underwear, but a good sign nonetheless. After that, Sprout and I were knee deep in booze all night, and we eventually met up with Mrs. Sprout, Kup, Pizz, Lara and Adrienne from some continued rambunciousness. Good times-- Props to all!

Don't know if I'll get that TEAM AMERICA review done today or not, I'm EXTREMELY hung over. However, y'all can look forward to an I AM THE LAW on the LCSes tomorrow. I've got LOTS to say about Boston, and whether it's atually good for baseball. (Sneak Preview: it's not.)

Here's your link of the day. It's a transcript of my hero, John Stewart's, appearance on Crossfire the other day. Scroll down about halfway, for when he comes on.

http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0410/15/cf.01.html

The Song of the Day is my favourite U2 song, "Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me." This from Batman Forever, which occurred firmly in the middle of the "hey, it's the mid-90s and U2 sucks" heyday. However, I dig this song quite a bit. It's a cornerstone of my MP3 player, and is fun to listen to while struttin' around O-Town. Give it a listen! Or not. I don't care.

Have a great day everyone, keep the comments on the RULES coming, and focus on the proposed rules for this week, and how to modify them, if they even need it. The urinal discourse has been amazing. I was in a bar last night that only had two urinals (non-divided). While I used one, a guy came in, gave the situation a once-over, and headed for the stall. Truly, he has read the Blog.

be good to each other, and no "turnin' tricks with your crucifix."
-apk

DAILY DOSE: "I know just when to face the truth, and then I know just when to dream."

First up, the Link of the Day comes from Frenchie himself, Marc Tae-Bo. All I can say about this one is, "A Guy can Dream, right?" If YOU tell two friends about the Kingdom, and THEY tell two friends, and THEY tell two friends...

http://www.cnn.com/2004/SHOWBIZ/books/10/19/andy.borowitz/index.html

Today's Song of the Day is "Making Love Out of Nothing at All," by Air Supply. Heard it on the radio on the way back from Beer World (IT'S ALWAYS UNBELIEVABLE!) and HAD to turn it up and belt it out. Because that's what you do with Air Supply, it's just. that. simple. So download it (legally! ;) ;) ) crank the volume, and get 80s with it!

Have a great day- I'm skipping my entire day to read comics and watch John Kerry, Bon Jovi, and Ted Danson.

-apk

DAILY DOSE: Let's make the best of the situation/ Before I finally go insane

As I head to bed after a disappointing night of Yankees and Cardinals losses (the St. Lou loss is MUCH more devastating than the Yankees one, for the record), I give you your Daily Dose, fresh for the sunrise.

Today's Song of the Day is already "Layla" (old school rock version) by Eric Clapton. I already know that it'll be running through my head when I wake tomorrow, because it's been stuck there all night. As the VERY WELL DONE documentary "OutFoxed" came to its conclusion tonight, the filmmakers deftly used the long instrumental interlude to build to the inspirational conclusion of the film. Because that part of the song is one of my single most favourite pieces of music, I actually lost my focus, and stopped paying attention to the movie. Most embarrassingly, I even started humming/singing along without even knowing it. That is, until Jeanie gave me one of those "you are the weirdest person I know, you crazy dweeb" looks. Oops.

Interestingly, besides the one stanza EVERYONE knows, I didn't know a single word to the song, until I looked them up just now. I'd say they're almost appropriate, but that would probably be saying too much. So there's YOUR song of the day. Enjoy!

Today's Link of the Day is a Geek Tour De Force. Someone out there did lego-style bitmap pictures of basically every major comic book hero ever. So check 'em out, if you've ever wondered what HAVOK originally looked like.

Micro Heros

Enjoy your day! I'll be back sometime later with the long awaited DEBUT of THE FUNDAMENTAL RULES TO LIFE AS A GUY!

until then,
-apk

MONDAY HANGOVER: "Stryfe, it's time you stopped crying foul, and started CRYING HAVOK!!"

Oh it’s just another Manic Monday, I wish it were Sunday. That’s my fun-day. My “I don’t have to run-day.”

Ugh. I guess I’m not in that shitty of a mood today, but I’m not in a good one, either. I feel a bit rudderless these days, as though my life seriously lacks any goals other than “Defeat the Shadow King and unlock HAVOK” on X-Men. (50% of which I pulled off last night—HAVOK! My favourite superhero! YES!). Living day-to-day is not all that cool, I suppose. I mean, I’m generally happy with me, and feel like I’ve got a lot of personal growth going on, but I don’t really see the point in all of it. Feels like everyone I know is picking up power converters at Tocche Station, and I’m just fixing moisture vaporators.

And no, I don’t even know what that last sentence meant. Feel free to use your imagination.

Now, with that little bit of boredom behind us, let’s move on to the Monday Hangover. This weekend was most certainly one of those weekends where a lot happened, just not really to me. Which I guess is why I feel like such a spectator to the game of life right now. Friday, Drew, Kup, Pizz, and I headed on out for a little Boys Night Out. Correction: Kup, Pizz, and I headed on out for a little Boys Night Out. Apparently, Drew missed the memo, for as we started shooting pool and drinking 50cent well drinks at Sports Rock (Adam’s Official Favourtie Bar in Pittsburgh), he dialed up the Apple of his Eye, K-Tron 2K4, and invited both her and the luscious AliMac over. Now, I’m all for hanging out with drunken hotties, it’s actually probably my Number 6 favourite thing to do

TANGENT ALERT: Adam’s Top 10 Favourite things to do (off the top of his head)
10) Play football with friends in the mud;
9) Eat seafood or chocolate;
8) Write poetry;
7) Go to PNC Park/ watch baseball;
6) Hang out with Drunken Hotties;
5) Play Nintendo against real life competition;
4) Draw/ create superheroes
3) Guys Night Out;
2) Play baseball/ Throw a runner out at home plate;
1) Make out with a girl/girlfriend (in theory).

As you’ll notice, “Hang out with Drunken Hotties” rates as 6, while “Guys Night Out” is number 3. So you see, Guys Night Out, is Guys Night Out—there aren’t supposed to be relationships involved here! To make matters WORSE, Drew literally TURNED HIS BACK ON US and sat in the corner talking to K-Tron for over an hour (Kup clocked it at 61 minutes). Needless to say, Drew is on Guy-Probation, and now must be Designated Driver twice in a row. So it is written, so it shall be done. These are FEM International Sentencing Guidelines, mind you.

Moving right along (and I don’t want posts questioning my list—I just made that up off the top of my head, if you want a REAL one, ask, and I’ll give it some actual thought. But who really cares, anyhow?) Saturday, Drew or no Drew, was still a good time. Highlights include Erin: the Sketchiest Hottie of All Times, from the bar, who basically threw herself at Kupchelitis, then every OTHER guy at the bar, including the very special pool mulletted pool player sporting the Miller Lite NASCAR hat AND jacket, and me inadvertedly LOSTING a team-game of 8-Ball when I sank the 8-Ball without realizing we actually had a ball left on the table. And I realized, oh, about 10 minutes later, when Kup said "you rack. you lost." Even a Drunken AliMac realized I had screwed the pooch, while I (the DESIGNATED DRIVER ie: sober guy) didn't. Hilarity.

Kris also found himself $10 poorer after he was snookered on the pool table by the Black Widow. This was a positively SEXY older lady who flat-out hustled the poor boy. The WORST part, is that he KNEW he was being hustled, but she was too hot (even for a mid-to-late 30 year-old) for Kris to put a stop to it. Let this be a lesson to all you fine ladies out there—learn how to play pull, buy yourselves a sexy newsboy-type J.Lo. hat, and invest in some “f*ck me boots.” You’ll rake the cash.

And for you guys, yes! It’s my first promulgated FUNDAMENTAL RULE:
Sports:
- NEVER play pool (for money) against someone with their own collapsible stick.
- NEVER play pool UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES against someone with THREE of their own collapsible sticks.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Saturday I headed to the Hacienda to help my dad with some yardwork, but by Horath’s Frosty Beard, we were smoted by the weather gods. Instead, I watched “Reign of Fire” (Verdict: YUCK.) hung out with my Best Friend, Penny, and caught the second part of the Disappointing Season Premiere of “Enterprise” (Verdict: ZZZzzzzzzz). Afterwards, Mom, Dad, Kup and I rendez-vous’d at Red Lobster from some all you can eat shrimp. Rumour has it the two Adam’s got their moneys’ worth. A special little bonus was also all the happy memories of simpler times that came flooding back to me thanks to the cheesy-bread roll thingies, which’ll I always recall fondly. How I wish for those simpler times. If anyone can help recapture said simpler times, you know the address.

Following the Red Lobster festivities (Props to Dad for grabbing a seat by the bar, amid a 40+ minute wait, which not only got us all fed promptly, but also gave us good seats for the first half of the Boston Massacre (btw: I refuse to talk about either LCS until they're over. I can’t risk jinxing either one of the teams you guys know I want to win. I won’t, I won’t do it.)) Kup and I headed to the movies to catch TEAM AMERICA: World Police. Or, as I like to call it, “Stone & Parker’s Love Letter to Alex Uram.” If you’ve not seen it yet—DO IT. With any luck, there’ll be a review Wednesday. Although, I can’t review it without spoiling the hell out of it. So you have 48 hours to go watch it. Get ‘er Done!

Sunday was another day, another Stillers win! Dare I say Ben is the real thing? Hells no!—stll too early, and I STILL won’t jinx him. Let’s just say I’m mighty glad I was all about him when they drafted him. The Defensive injuries (ESPECIALLY the loss of Hampton for the year) are very troublesome. Here’s hoping the boys in black can stay tough—the schedule’s not getting any easier. Needless to say, the bye week is a welcome break for them, and I CAN’T WAIT to be in Boston the same day we play the Patsies. I’m hopeful, yet realistic (like a Red Sox fan), but it’ll be fun no matter what!
Oh, and I unlocked Emma Frost, Colossus and HAVOK last night!!!!

..sorry..

Tonight after my first foray into Cross Examination (herewithin “XEXAM”) I’ll be headed to see some hippie documentary about Fox News, after dinner, with Jeanie. Apparently MBB means “Must Be Busy” on this off-kilter Monday ;)

That should do for now, don’t forget the Daily Dose, posted below. And Don’t forget to chime in on your feelings about the BOLD NEW DIRECTION, which kicks off TOMORROW with the first ever installment of THE FUNDAMENTAL RULES OF LIFE AS A GUY.

In the meantime, umm.. let me search for a song quote.. I’ll turn on the MP3 player—first song wins:

…aww.. dammit.

In the meantime, “Show me how you do it, and I’ll promise you—I’ll promise that I’ll run away with you… I’ll run away with you.”
-apk

DAILY DOSE: [insert musical interlude here]

Morning, kiddies, hope everyone's weekend was eventful. Hopefully, I'll get to the Monday Hangover shortly. In the meantime, here's your Link of the Day:

The physics of the matter say the Immaculate Reception ball hit Tatum

It's an interesting little article from the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette explaining how the Immaculate Reception was probably a legal play, because it hit the D-Back, and NOT the WR, using Physics for proof. I don't know why we're still obsessed with proving this, but anything that shuts John Madden up is cool with me.

And also, the Song of the Day, today is "Gifts and Curses" by Yellowcard, from the Spider-Man 2 Soundtrack. Lyrically, it's a little corny, but I absolutely LOVE the 2-minute musical interlude in the middle. It's a slow cresecendo of piano, bass, and my favourite, the violin, leading up to a big guitar finish. I listen to this song everytime I walk from the bus stop to work. It's the perfect song to march along the street to, while taking the time to absorb the people of Liberty Avenue, and whatever the Pittsburgh morning has to hold. So there you go.

-apk

I AM THE LAW! -- "I'm the Best There Is At What I Do... though what I do isn't very nice!"

In this installment of I AM THE LAW! -- your source for all your entertainment review needs, I present to you: X-MEN LEGENDS, for the Gamecube (also available on PS2 and XBOX)

All I can say is that if you’re an X-Men fan, and you like videogames, THIS is the game for you! Finally, they’ve put together a team-oriented game with tons of characters, a super-fun storyline, and easy game play. Technically, I guess it’s RPG style, which I have decidedly little experience with. Don’t ask me how it compares to Final Fantasy or Knights of the Old Republic, cuz I just don’t know. What I DO know is that the RPG aspects of it are very limited. You just kick a lot of ass, and as you do so, earn points, and get to determine how you pump up your characters. For instance, I used all the points Wolverine earned initially on pumping up his healing factor and strike abilities, so now it don’t matter how much damage he takes while bringing the proverbial ruckus.

The game features an overhead view of a variety of fully-interactive environments and levels. There's all your favourite X-Universe locales, from the streets of NYC to the X-Mansion at Graymalken Lane, Asteroid M/Avalon, the Weapon Plus facility and the Moorlock Tunnels! Each one is different, and each one perfectly captures the feel of the comics. The game designers were also super-smart when they signed on Duncan Rouleau, Steven Seagle, Joe Casey, and Joe Kelly to write the script for the game. They all had succesful, well-written, runs on various X-Comics in the mid/late 90s, and they're grasp of the characters is what makes the whole thing so awesome. It's a mix of the reg. universe and the Ultimate universe, with a taste of the movies, as well. Originally, I was frightened that would suck, but it really doesn't. They've taken the best bits of all, and created a great game of X-Men v. the WORLD. You'll fight Magneto's Brotherhood, the Gene Nation Moorlocks, and anti-mutant government soldiers. Really Great Stuff.

You get to play with a cournicopia of characters, all decked out in their Ultimate X-Gear (though old school costumes turn up here and there, for added delight), and use all of their powers perfectly. The flying characters fly, the strong characters can lift stuff, shit-- Gambit even fights with his staff AND his cards! It's great. You control a team of four X-Men at once, and it's far easier than you'd think. You can set up if guys will attack on their own, or be more defensive, and one click of the 'L' button has everyone attack your guy. Fighting a sentinel? Send Wolvie in to slash away, while you dial 9 for long distance and jack him with Optic Blasts from across the room. You'll rack up "combo" attacks that are more powerful, and leave robot-bits all over the room. It's SUPER AWESOME. They also perfectly blended superpowers with gameplay. Your ability to use your powers is limited, but you don't have to rely soley on punching and kicking. It strikes a really great balance.

So far, I've unlocked and used the following X-Men:
Cyclops, Phoenix, Storm, Wolverine, Nightcrawler, Gambit, Rogue, Jubilee, Magma, Beast, Iceman.

I know for a FACT that Colossus is playable as well.

I've heard that you can use Emma Frost, and Psylocke, also. I know there's 15 playable muties in all, when I get to them all, I'll let you know!

I've already run into the following villians:
Mystique, Pyro, Avalanche, Blog, Toad, Marrow, Juggernaut, and the Sentinels. And though i've not fought him, Magneto.

The voicework is super-awesome, including Lou Diamond Phillips, Ed Asner, Armin Shimmerman, and Patrick Stewart!

The coolest part is the subplot involving newcomer to the fully-interactive X-Mansion, Magma. In-between missions you get to roam around and talk to X-Men, and then you’ll have flashback missions where the team’s in old school uniforms and you fight Sentinels and stuff. Uber-cool.

The only problem I have with it so far is the skirmish mode on the Danger Room. You can pick any unlocked characters and throw them against each other, but apparently the only way you can fight is to beat the other person 5 times, in 1 minute. Very lame. Hopefully, after I beat the game, I’ll be able to change the options, so that I can setup major league Bond-style deathmatches between Sentinels and the Blob. And don’t even get me started if Havok, my all-time favourite character, makes an appearance in the game (he's in the credits, and if he appears in the game, you can play him in the Danger Room). I can’t wait to see ol’ Alex Summers.

Basically, I'm in love with this game, and SO happy I bought it. It's a long game, too, and pretty difficult, but super-fun.

Verdict: AWESOME. If you're an X-Men/videogame fan, you'll love the shit out of this game. I give it the highest recommendation, I mean-- you can do the FASTBALL SPECIAL. (If you know what that is, you NEED to buy this game). If you don't know what a Fastball Special is, but you like a good videogame, I'd give it a high recommendation. There might be other games out there that do what this game does better, so give it a rental, first.

happy gaming!

coming soon to I AM THE LAW! -- Team America: World Police, Friday Night Lights, and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

court's dismissed,
-apk

DAILY DOSE: "Wondered if it ever would/ Really didn't think it could."

First off, here's your LINK OF THE DAY. I'm definitely buying SOMETHING from this site (SUPER-PROPS to Kelly, btw, for bringing this to my attention), because we watch it every day at school. However, I can't decide between the grey gym t-shirt, or the Zack Attack shirt. Comments?

Bayside Clothing

The Song of the Day is "Mint Car" by The Cure. Jeanie turned me on to the Cure earlier this summer, and every time I hear a song of theirs, I fall in love with it. This was played at Hemingway's last night, and though I couldnt' hear the words, the tune was great. If anyone has it and could MP3 it for me, and send it over, I would ADORE YOU forever. Big files can be directly sent over IM, or emailed to BottleRocket707@yahoo.com

The lyrics don't even remotely relate to anything in my life right now, but whatever, it's a good song, and great way to start off Song of the Day!

okay, enjoy that stuff, kids.
-apk

POST 100: "Mutatis Mutandis"

As forewarned, I have returned!

Man, TGIF, because I need a break from this breakneck week. Too much work at the front of the week, too much play at the back. Can’t I just have five hours and X-Men Legends? (Game review soon!)

Anwho,

WELCOME TO POST 100!

I honestly can’t believe I’ve now posted 100 times. I was going to do a “best of the Kingdom” posting for 100, but I’ve just not had the time this week, between midterms, playoff baseball, and beer. Perhaps a year-ender? Who knows?

I would like, once again, to thank y’all for your continued support and attention spans. I’d like to thank everyone individually, but there are MANY people who visit here daily whose identities have remained secret. Never to worry, though, I’ll thank those that I DO know come by, in hopes of making the others jealous enough to at least sign a post and say hello. If I had guestbook capability, I’d make it happen, but alas, this is not xanga.com.

Without further ado, the POST 100 list o’ Props:

Banner: Basically the reason this became something I do on a regular basis, your support comments are always sweet-ass, and your support has been encouraging.

Marc: You’re the reason I try to post every day, because you bug me if I don’t. Seriously, though, it’s nice to stay in touch through this thing, it’s the reason I started it in the first place.

Grampy: The most unexpected visitor EVER, it’s a thrill to me to know that read this, as I’ve always respected the hell out of you.

Jeanie: If Banner’s not the reason I started posting consistently, then you certainly are. Your blog was certainly an inspiration to me and gave me many ideas on how to run one of these things.

Uram: I don’t even think you come by anymore, but I wish you did, and I wish you still had the time/inclination to write columns.

Kujo: I hope you write again soon, because your first go at it was fantastic. Like Marc and Jamie, I love that I keep in touch with you through here.

Now, here’s just a comment-free list o’ Props:
Lara, Kup, Alimac, KLE, Jenna from the Yough, MeganStarr, Colleen.
If I’ve inadvertently left you off this list, I apologize. Yell at me, and I’ll write a paragraph of Props.

Okay, now on to some new business.
Being we’ve hit 100 posts, and being I’ve got a pretty good idea of how much time/interest I have in posting here constantly, I’ve got a few new ideas for around here that I’d like to launch TODAY, as a BOLD NEW DIRECTION into the future of the Kingdom.

First off, I’m going to continue my quest to make things around here a little bit more interactive. Since polls a) are never responded to, and b) are a pain in the ass to come up with, I’m going to hereby retire TUESDAY IS A POLL DAY, and replace it with something new I call THE FUNDAMENTAL RULES OF LIFE AS A GUY. Each Tuesday, I’ll post a proposed FUNDAMENTAL RULE for life as a guy, in one of the four categories of Clothes, Sports, Girls, or Etiquette. Over the course of the next week, my proposed rule will be open for comments and opinion, until the following Tuesday, where the final Fundamental Rule will be promulgated for us all to enjoy. Although it’s for LIFE AS A GUY, womens are encouraged to comment, because your opinion counts! I think this can be fun, and I have a couple of random ones to get us started with on Tuesday. Just some things that have hit me in the last couple of days. Tune in Tuesday to find out! Post up and propose topics! And seriously, though I AM THE LAW! (wow—TWO Stallone quotes in one day!), this is all just good, stupid fun, and maybe someday I can collect them all into one bound form, and we can all split the millions!

Sound like a good idea? I hope so. I think it can be a lot of fun! Also, the call has officially gone out for a Guest Columnist. Your column will run weekly, depending on when I’m too busy to post up. You can write about ANYTHING, with minimum editorial discretion/guidelines set up by me. After all, this site does have my name on it, and I can’t have my guest columnist ruining my political career by discussing trickeration with Bill Parcells. Kujo and Uram, you’ve both got first dibs on this. Also, if anyone out there EVER wants to just try a one-shot diatribe on anything bugging them, just email me- I’d love to open up the forum! Those of you that know my normal email address, use it. Those of you that don’t, please send requests to BottleRocket707@yahoo.com.

So now, our schedule around here seems it’ll hopefully run like so:
Monday Hangover
Tuesday Fundamentals
Wednesday Guest/I am the Law!
Thursday Bows & Toes/Even I Get Boreded!
Friday Pregame

Now, we all know I suck at keeping that schedule, but whatever, we’re going to hope for the best. My posting is entirely determined by my free time/will to write On Any Given Day.

Finally, a new “daily” feature of the Kingdom will hopefully give you a little more insight into my… psyche. I’m hoping to give you both a “Link of the Day” and a “Song of the Day.” The Link will be whatever I’ve stumbled upon on the Web that day that made me chuckle or think. In honesty, there’s going to be a lot of Links from comic book sites and Bill Simmons. The point is not to find incredibly funny ‘net randomness (Like Kermit the Frog singing “F*ck the Police”—the most amazing Internet Moment of my Life), but instead just say, “Hey, I’m Adam—this is the shit I’m into. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.”

As for the Song of the Day. Well, we all know that I like pretty much all music, including a lot of truly embarrassing stuff. I’ve decided to stop feeling guilty about this, though, and share with all of you whatever song is going through my head that day, or especially fits my mood. Could be inane, you might skip it every day, but whatever, it’ll be in the Blog-history for me to look back on (since this IS sort of my diary) and you’ll get a feel for who I am. I guess it’s all just part of my never-ending quest to be understood. Especially since those I’ve thought most understand me have truly let me down of late when it comes to that. But I introspectively digress. If you listen to the Song or check the Link, and you like it or hate it or whatever, then let’s discuss. Life is about communication, is it not?

Anyhow, that’s where we’re headed. Let me know how you feel about it all. This may be My Kingdom, but I’m trying to entertain, y’know?

okay, back to the show!
-apk

COUNTDOWN TO 100, POST 99: "The Best Laid Plans of Mice & Men"

Well, Good Morning, friends.

Yeah, yeah, I know. You all read me say “three posts” yesterday, and I’m certain that none of you believed me, and for good reason. Just like real life, the Kingdom is full of empty promises. Hey, I’m sorry it’s so heartbreaking, but stop your bellyaching! I mean, there was beer! What am I supposed to do?

Yes, last night my Heterosexual Life Partner and KP picked me up after my environmental crimes class (which, I believe is so boring that it’s a crime against the environment itself) and we headed to the Waterfront for a little dinner at Pizza Uno. A little “shrimp scampi” pasta (which was decidedly lacking in garlic) later, and it was over to Duke’s for some baseball and brews. That didn’t last long, though, and we migrated, like so many …umm, migrants, to Hemingway’s, where we put down $1 Miller Lites as that quaint little establishment turned into the World’s Biggest Sausage Party. I swear, it was like Theta Chi open rush in there. Super-Hot waitresses notwithstanding, as the place got more and more crowded, and we got to hang out around guys with wicker cowboy hats (who I REALLY wanted to RKO/Diamond Cut/Stunner!), I got increasingly more annoyed with all the guys there watching the Miami/Louisville game INSTEAD of the baseball playoffs. Now, I realize fully that I a) live in Pittsburgh, and thus, football will always be more popular and that b) the Cardinals/Astros series is by-and-largely being ignored by the free world, even though it’s been a more exciting series than the Yanks/Sox so far, but that being said, I was still Mega-Annoyed. Why?

WARNING: SPORTS FAN RANT. IF YOU AIN’T INTERESTED, MOVE ALONG.

Because Pitt fans are like Red Sox fans. And I mean that as an insult. Pitt fans have been so ingrained with their inferiority complex, when it comes to football, that all they do is harp and bitch and moan and root against teams that are consistently better than them. Pitt fans will tell you all about how they “hate” Miami, and how they’re big-huge-terrible-evil rivals because Miami left the Big East, and because they were in the same conference for so long. But guess what? It HAS TO BE COMPETITIVE TO BE A RIVALRY. In fact, Pitt fans HATE Miami because all Miami has done for the last 25 years is put Pitt on its ass, year in-year out. It’s just like Pitt/PSU. Pitt fans HATE PSU. PSU fans don’t care about Pitt. There most CERTAINLY AREN’T “Friends don’t let friends go to UPITT” or “PITT SUCKS” t-shirts with Walt Harris on them in Happy Valley. But I digress. You see, everyone was super-rooting against Miami last night, because they’re Miami, and ‘we’re’ Pitt, and 'we’re the underdog,' and we hate that evil Miami empire! Blah blah. I WISH PSU was as good, consistently, as Miami! And don’t try to turn this around on me, because you know what? If PSU’s not playing them, I root for BIG TEN teams like the Luckeyes and Michigan. Those are teams I know, with players I can appreciate. But last night, like, ALL of Hemingway’s was standing up screaming and rooting against Miami, just because they were losing. If they would’ve been winning, no one there would have cared. And I guess that’s just kind of the point of this rant—it annoyed me. ESPECIALLY because Louisville joins the Big East next year, and they’re EXACTLY the type of team Pitt fans should be worrying about/learning how to despise.

RANT OVER.

Okay.. I didn’t expect that to take so long, but no matter. I guess that’s just reflective of the kind of mood I’m in right now. The last few weeks I’ve found that I’m starting to feel like the most disposable person in the world. Much like John J. Rambo, I feel utterly expendable, you know, “It’s like.. if you’re invited to a party, and you don’t show up… no one really cares.” I don’t mean to bemoan my existence, especially in light of what’s been a truly fun week, with two consecutive flashback frat-dog nights. (Oh yeah—Props to Lara and Jess for finding us in the previously unexplored “upstairs” of Peter’s Pub last night. Dancing = fun. Although Jess is like, straight off of Soul Train or the Grind or something ridiculous like that… American Bandstand? I dunno), but I mean, this IS my online diary, so every now and then, y’all are going to have to put up with it. I just wanted to warn you to expect certain (hopefully manageable) levels of melancholy over the course of the next few weeks. I’m just sort of in one of those places. I’m just easily jettisoned, and it ain’t that awesome. Middle Child Syndrome strikes again! As my Godmother, my Aunt Cindy used to describe these bouts of moroseness during my childhood, “Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I guess I’ll go eat worms.”

So yeah, there’s still a lot to catch up on from this week, but as the days go by, it all feels less and less interesting. I would like to give out Props to my new best friend, DeShawn (or however you spell it). He’s the self-proclaimed “King of the Titty Bar” who we met with Adrienne and friends a few weeks ago at Hemingway’s. We were hanging out with him and the ladies the last two evenings, and he hands down has the coolest afro (avec pick) that I’ve ever seen in real life. And, during someone’s drunken karaoke rendition of “Baby Got Back” two evenings ago, he gave us a supreme shout-out during the “white boys got to shout” portion of that seminal hip-hop hit. Which was really cool.

ALMOST as cool as running into “Glenn” last night—the “You’re LL COOL J” guy from two weeks ago. He didn’t remember us, and we blew his mind when we stopped him and said hello, but by damn that was a cool experience. Much cooler than buying those drinks for those four cute girls last night, and accomplishing nothing but a little batting practice. I don’t really have a problem going down swinging like that, because you gots to take your chances, y’know? But I would’ve liked to have shaved beforehand, and been a little more nicely dressed than Ugly-Sweater, but what can you do? I really let the Boy Scouts of America down when I left for class yesterday, ESPECIALLY since I KNEW Kup and Kris were going to want to go out before I got a chance to come home and change/shave. Ah well, C’est la vie.

And with that, my friends, I bid you adieu for now, but fret not! I don’t feel like doing work today at work, so I’ll probably be back VERY soon (especially since there’s Mozart on the radio, and Wolfgang always makes me want to write) with my 100th POST! and an announcement concerning the BOLD NEW DIRECTION (only 83% like the old direction!) of the Kingdom!

Stay tuned!
-apk

COUNTDOWN TO 100, post 98: "I wanna jump but i'm afraid i'll fall... I wanna kiss her but she's just too tall."

Well hello, hello.

Yes, I'm finally back, with an honest-to-God legit post. In fact, I'm hoping to post THREE times today! You see, this is Post 98, and I'm trying to make the big push to my 100th Post! When I first started the Blog, I didn't think that anyone would ever read it, and even so, that it would be a fad-type thing everyone would stop doing after a week, and this grand experiment just wouldn't last. So, obviously, the fact that I'm still trudging along five months later, getting about 25 hits a day, really blows me away. I want to take this opportunity to just thank everyone for being faithful readers, or even just stopping in occassionally. It's been fun, and I'll keep it up as long as y'all keep reading.

That being said, boy do I have an awful lot to talk about today, so let's jump straight into it!

Waking up on a strange couch in Oakland (a neighborhood in the 'Burgh, for you non-PAers) is always a good way to start a day. Kupchelitis convinced me to head out to Bootleggers last night with him and his new friend Adrienne. In honesty, I wasn't too excited to go, being I've not shaved all week, and just wanted to finish watching the ballgames and play more X-Men. But I'll get to that later today.

First, we must re-wind to the weekend! This shouldn't take long. Friday, Nicolitta, my little hummin'bird, came to visit me. She was delayed by the PA Turnpike, which blew up our plans to have dinner with Jeanie. By the time she arrived the uber-disappointing season premiere of Enterprise had already started, so I made her watch the first half-hour while I snacked on the candy corn she had brought me. Then we headed on out to dinner, and since no one else was in the city, or was busy with significant others, we just picked up Eternal Sunshine on DVD, since she had never seen it, and just enjoyed the hell out of the movie.

Saturday at the wedding, we had a rauckus good time! All the wedding-type bliss went off without a hitch, and dancing and merriment were of course awesome, because the Kliq was in full-on effect. Even if there was a terrible shortage of girls, the ones there were hot and fun, so it was all good. Line of the night goes to Yough science teacher Mr. Stewart, who taught or new many of us back in the day. He remarked that it's amazing how many of stayed close (upwards of 11 of us in the "class picture" we took), and mentioned that the amazing thing about us all dancing was that "there's not an IQ under 130 on that dance floor." Which, oddly enough, was pretty much true, and kind of weird. As though we were all from Holland. Oh, yeah, all the guys started pounding shots of Whiskey, and though I don't partake in such silliness anymore (no matter how many times they hound me for being a "fratboy"), apparently my mother does, for Good Linda threw back like, 17 (actual count: 3 or 4) shots!!! It was a great, great night, that we capped off with some snacks, X2, and Fireball Island back at the Hacienda, just like the old days.

And since you're all wondering-- I wore my dark blue dress shirt with my black tie. When I get a picture of the group developed, perhaps I'll post us for posterity.

Sunday I headed to my Grandma's birthday celebration with Dad, Chris, and 'Dina, and we all bared witness to Roethlisbergian Greatness as the Stillers trounced the Not the Browns. Eat THAT! Jeanette!

Well, that'll wrap things up for now, tune in later today as I talk LCS-es, afro picks, and X-Men Legends!

in the meantime, I've got the rockin' pneumonia, and the boogie woogie flu!
-apk

TUESDAY RANDOMATION: This Week Sucks!!

Okay, Okay, I know it's been a while, and I know you're all just chomping at the bit to hear about m' weekend, as well as the usual incoherent ramblings.

You're just going to have to wait another day or so, because Law School is blowing up all around me, and I've got to catch up. And well, I bought X-Men Legends for the 'Cube the other day, and it's taking up all my time..

... so as usual, stay tuned.

In the meantime, chew on this:
Nicole Spector actually likes the Macy Gray Walkman Commercial. Words can't describe how disturbing this is to me, and how it's fundamentally altered our best-friend-relationship.

She believes that it's not to be taken seriously, that dear Macy is simply dancing and singingly poorly to her Walkman because that's what we ALL do. That she's just being a normal person, and that it's funny/cute.

What do YOU think? Look back a week or two ago for my "Macy Gray must be Stopped" posting, and you'll see how I feel about it.

Discuss :)

I'll talk to you all soon, and since you're all wondering, I'll tell you:
(At least through the first three levels) The best X-Men Team is Cyclops, Wolverine, Rogue and either Storm or Jean (Jean's power is more devastating, but Storm gives you an extra leadership boost)

I'll let you know what life's like with Gambit, Colossus, Nightcrawler and Jubilee, soon. Magma is awesome, too. But Beast, blows. So there you have it.

Be cool, stay in school,
-apk

FRIDAY PREGAME: "Today's the day the teddy bears have their piccccc-nic!"

Welcome back, your dreams were your ticket out,

Why yes, I've returned for YOUR Friday Pregame, and WHAT a weekend it's threatening to be.

First, in only a matter of hours, I'll have a haircut and Nic will be in town! Why yes, my bestest of friends has answered the call to duty, yet again, and will be my featured date in a THIRD wedding. I'm pretty certain that if my friends didn't know better, they'd be convinced we're married or something. We plan on meeting Jeanie for dinner tonight, then hittin' the underbelly of the 'Burgh for some fine boozation. Call if you're interested in tagging along. Tomorrow is the long-overdue wedding of Jon and Jackie, who've been together for something ridiculous like, i dunno, 19 years. It seems like only yesterday (or seventh grade) that Jon had a crush on AliMac, now look at him: marrying off to the apple of his eye, the fantastical Jackie, who may just be the sweetest girl I've ever known. Congratulations! kids! And thanks for making me feel that much older... and single. ..Dammit. ;)

Sunday is Stillers v. the Not Really the Browns, and as previously explained, if the Stillers lose, I'm going to have to kill Jeanie. So root for Big Ben!

And by the end of the weekend, the Cards and Sox will almost certainly advance to their respective LCS, while the Houston/Atlanta and (especially) the Yankees/Twins series are proving to be worth the price of admission. Should be an AWESOME weekend for baseball. (Unless you live in Southern Cali.)

And now, for a little story...

The other night, Kup and I were watching some baseball when a commercial break exposed us to the LAMEST CHARITY DRIVE OF ALL TIME.

Comcast cable is apparently sponsoring a teddy bear drive. (Insert "awwwww" cuteness expression here). However, this is no ordinary teddy bear drive, no. Instead, their collecting teddy bears to give to every emergency response vehichle (ie: firetrucks, police cars, ambulances) in the tri-state area. And why is that? Well, they are sponsoring the noble cause of making sure that if a child is at the scene of a tragedy, he or she will be able to be immediately comforted by Teddy Ruxbin.

Imagine the following exchange:

Child: waaaah! waaah! waah!
Policeman: What's wrong, little fella?
Child: waaaah! that's my house burning down...waaah!
Policeman: Oh, everything will be okay, the firemen are taking care of it..
Child: waaah! waaah! but all my stuff! my gamecube is gone! waaah!
Policeman: Oh, don't worry-- here take this..
Child: waaah! but my (sobs) my dog, Sparky was in there..
Policeman: It's okay, have a teddy bear!
Child: But... (sobs) my... my mom was in there... waaah!
Policeman: ....shit. ...f*ckin' Comcast.

anyone else think that a Teddy Bear Picnic is not always the answer? More importantly, though, and this just hit me.. what if it IS.

We could airdrop Teddy Bears into Iraq!
We could give the Palestinians an Israeli Teddy Bear, and give the Israelis a Palestinian Teddy Bear!
Red Sox fans could be given Curse-Free Teddy Bears!

That's it! That's what the world needs! The Beatles said all you need is love, well, they were WRONG. All you need is aTEDDY BEAR!!

Okay, I've got to run, I've got to write my Congressman and save the planet, one Teddy Bear at a time!

enjoy the weekend!
-apk

RANDOMATION XIX: "I Wanna Be Rich!"

You know, I wish I was positively loaded.

And not because I want a fast car, or a hot-model girlfriend (in fact, I've already done that one. God bless you, Claire2K, wherever you are.) And I don't want to buy a Major League Baseball team (although that would be cool), don't want a big house or lots of toys or nothin'.

No, I wanna be rich for one reason, and one reason only.

TO GET THE GODDAMMED PEOPLE ON THE CLASSICAL MUSIC CHANNEL TO SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!!!

See, I listen to classical music here at work because it's never distracting (like talk radio or music with lyrics) and it's often inspiring. But all this week, what's been going on? F*CKIN' PLEDGE DRIVE!!

ARGGH. Now, I can appreciate the fact that it's a public radio station that needs dough to survive. But do they have to bitch about it SO much? Can't they just play the music for me?

Radio DJs are annoying enough, most of the time, but radio DJs talking and carrying on, even though they're not particularly good at it... well, that's just frickin' infuriating.

Ugh.

I'll be back later... NIC GETS HERE SOON!
-apk

THURSDAY RANDOMATION: "It is an overwhelming fact that facts can be overwhelming"

Try that little piece of brillance on for size, my friends.

Well, I'm stepping away from this brief for a few moments to collect myself and say hello to all of yinz, it's been a few days, no? To quote Vice President Andrew Martin Taft Dick Cheney, "The fact of the matter is," it's been a random week, of sorts. Capping all the weirdness off is that my brief SUCKS, and may have momentarily lost my proverbial fastball, when it comes to writing. I did come up with that little nugget of wisdom all by my lonesome, however, so I've got that going for me.

It seems that I'm slowly but surely working my way back into a creative little groove here. Oddly, it's a different kind of creativity than the "I MUST WRITE A COMIC BOOK!" inspiration that overcame me back in July. No, it's a more mellow spark, the kind that has me inching my way back into poetry. It's a little scary, though, because poetry either means I'm depressed, or that I have a muse. I don't really believe either istrue, so who knows what the hell is going on? Theories, anyone? And ("you're gay.") doesn't count as a theory. And no, you can't read anything... not that you'd want to.

Anyway(s), I'll stop waxing about crap that perhaps only three of you out there even remotely care about, and will instead quickly recap the week, and discuss the DUMBEST CHARITY DRIVE OF ALL TIME!

First up, it's been a dizzingly random week. Monday after school, what started out as "Dinner at Fat Heads with Kup" turned into "Drunk at Duke's with Lara, Harry, and Kup." Strangeness abounded, and I racked up a fifty dollar tab on the night guzzling Blue Moons and not even knowing why. So, "goodbye" X-Men Legends, my new dream-video game purchase. I'll have to wait until next paycheck to pick it up. If anyone out there plays it in the meantime, let me know.

Oh, I also came home to an utterly cavalier, distracting email, that was one part infuriating, one part perplexing, and 84 parts frustrating. Details on that, not to follow. At least the Chefs beat the Team That I Hate Like Death, leaving the Stillers alllll alone in first place heading into Sunday's showdown with Not Really the Browns. Pray the Black and Gold are triumphant, so I don't have to deal with Jeanie gloating. I'd have to get medievil on her ass.

Moving right along, Tuesday featured the Cardinals mollywhopping the Dodgers, and the VP debate. I was underwhelmed by the debate, and hereby apologize to Kup for making him watch it instead of the Yankees game. I'm placing myself on man-probation for a week. I'm going to have to eat some brats and drink some extra brews on Sunday to make up for that lack of testosterone-effort on my part. Wednesday was more of the same, though the Yankees won, and I was introduced both to "Scorch" the puppet-dragon from the "Match Game '90" and the awesomeness that was Astonishing X-Men #5. If you have a remote interest in the X-Men, READ THIS SERIES!

A few other items of note:
- Thanks to the Astros for coming out of nowhere to win the bet I made with Bill last February.
- Props to Bill, coupled with a big I TOLD YOU SO, as he finally watched Star Wars for the first time in his 24 year-long life, and fell in love with The Trilogy.
- Props to Cox.net for continuing to hide your true identity from me. Hopefully, you're a REALLY hot girl that's looking for a meaningful long-term relationship based on mutual trust and understanding built upon a rock-solid foundation of deep, thought provoking conversation. And, like me, are just looking for someone to hold.
-NIC GETS HERE TOMORROW!!! CAN'T WAIT! I actually don't know if she's ever been out n' about in PGH?? So we're doing some mad-drinkin,' it will be awesome, and details will follow.

And Finally, THE WORST CHARITY DRIVE EVER!!!

...will have to wait until later, this is getting too long.

haha! I gotta keep y'all coming back for more, somehow!

..okay. I'll be bored tonight, probably, call or come over and play. We can watch baseball! ...Or Star Wars... or V... or something equally geeky.

stay the same, never change.
-apk

MONDAY HANGOVER: "There's beauty in the breakdown."

Welcome back to the Kingdom, I know you’ve missed me, and I’ve missed you.

If you’re out there, and I’ve not talked to you in a week or two, feel free to get back into the game and say hello.

Well, there’s not a whole ton to report from the weekend that was, although a party back in Herminie on Saturday, in preparation for this weekend’s Jon/Jackie nuptials was a rambunctiously good time. Before I knew it, it was 3am, I was hammered, and I had to make the long-walk back home (ie: across the street to my parents). I think it’s safe to say that good times were had by all. It was good to, you know, actually hang out with Jon, Jackie, Wilbur, Jason, and Michelle for once, so props to them all!

Bonus props go to my beruit partner, ?Bob? He’s the only white guy with a cutoff shirt and army tattoos that I’ve ever seen do “The Robot.” And it was f*ckin’ amazing, at that!

Moving right along, let’s talk about the Stillers. Sure, it’s a lit-tle early to get too excited about the Roethlisberger Era, but early returns are good. It’s nice to see the defense bending, but not breaking. It’s always tough to judge the team based on a Cincinnati or Cleveland game, because the rivalries are so big, the games are always close and both teams bring the ruckus. That, combined with the facts that Oakland was the first week, we didn’t show up for The Game That Never Happened, and Miami was played in torrentialness, there’s no real way to figure out of the Steelers are, you know… good or not yet. All I know is they already have half as many wins as they did last year. So it’s a start.

I’d also like to give props to the San Diego SuperChargers and the Arizona Cardinals for coming up HUGE for me this week, and helping me stay a game ahead of Sprout in the Outback Challenge. That, is.. one game ahead until I lose tonight. I can’t BELIEVE I picked the Chiefs… What am I gonna do with a bucket as a hand..? What was I thinking…

Baseball playoffs start tomorrow! LET’S GO CARDS! DIE REDSOX DIE!!!
This is going to be a FUN post-season, for there isn’t a single dominant team in either league. I wouldn’t be surprised with ANY of these teams making the World Series.

Can we all PLEASE take a moment to enjoy the fact that NEITHER the Giants NOR the Cubs made the playoffs this year? I TOLD everyone the Cubs Offense was inconsistent, and their pitching injury-prone, but no one would listen. Well, there!

No Bonds? No Sosa? NO WAY! BEST PLAYOFFS EVER! Now, Lord, please eliminate the Red Sox through some sort of zany/heartbreaking machination... and don't let the Braves win, either. Thanks! I'll even go to church!

Nowt, just for fun and posterity, I’ve got to make a few predictions:

-Anaheim beats the Red Sox in five.
probably the best-matched of all the Divisional Series, this one can go either way. Anaheim’s a HOT team that plays small ball, and I hate the Red Sox, which is more than enough for me to pick them. Also, Vlad Guerrero, who SHOULD be the ALMVP, is on an absolute TEAR.

-Yankees beat Twins in four.
This is the toughest one for me to pick. I REALLY like the idea of throwing Santana twice in a short series, but it hurts that the Twins only get two games in the Hefty-Dome. They also ALWAYS seem to freak when they play the Yanks. And it’s nearly impossible to pick against Joe Torre in October. My brain tells me Twins, my gut is screaming “JETER!!!”

-Cardinals beat Dodgers in four.
St. Louis has lost its best pitcher, and has been flat for weeks. Rolen is banged up, so I’m scared. The Dodgers are hot off of an emotional flurry to win the West. I think that the Lou’s defense and hitting wins out, though.

-Houston beats Atlanta in three.
BIG PREDICTION TIME. I mean, Houston has to win a postseason series SOMETIME, don’t they? They’re hot and playing tough, mean baseball right now. They’re led by a manager who’s nickname is “Scrap Iron.” This is the last run for 4/5 of this team. I think Houston and St. Louis in the NLCS makes a TON of sense. And I don’t know who I’d pick to win.

Don’t let people sucker you, though. Clemens twice in a series is NOT that much of an advantage anymore. See last season. Luckily, Houston’s rotation is mad-stronger than just him. A Houston/St. Louis NLCS would be LOADS of fun, with runs scored all over the place.

God, I love baseball.

For the record:
I’ll be rooting for the Cards in the NL.
I’ll be rooting for anyone but the Red Sox in the AL. (In actuality, the three AL teams I root for regularly (ie: 1 east, 1 central, 1 west) are the Yankees, the Twins, and the Angels. This is the most interested I am in the baseball playoffs in a long time, because only the Braves and Sox are teams I undeniably hate, and only the Dodgers are a team I’m indifferent to. Which means the Sox will play the Braves in the World Series That Never Happened.

Okay, whaddya think?
-apk

T- MINUS 5 DAYS UNTIL NIC COMES TO VISIT.