Gotta Get Back in Time

Well, kids, I'm off to D-Son for a weekend of pure XXX-citement with Jack and Uram.  Look forward to a report next week.  Odds are I'll be typing from my hospital bed as I recover from three strained achilles (and i know i only have two), a blown quad, four herniated discs, and a strained neck, aka, "the side effects of playing in an alumni baseball game while in the WORST phsyical condition of your entire existence."

 

Should be interesting. In the meantime, all you sports fans, ESPECIALLY sabrmetic baseball fans, can get a kick out of This Link, which makes me laugh tremendously.

 

In the meantime, I gotta go get fitted for a Golden Sombrero.

 

later

-apk

 

 

Armistice

Just want eveyone to know that neither yesterday's column nor its subsequent reply were written with any level of animosity or vindictiveness in mind.  In fact, it was just the opposite. Though it may not seem like it, I don't really feel like a victim, nor do do I have any regrets about believing in her or fighting for what proved to be a futile cause.  We have since discussed these points, and though I realize we'll never come to understand each other's feelings about this decision, I can assure you that we're on amicable terms.  If any good came out of yesterday's emotionally-charged writings, it is that at least some part of the discussion that I had originally wanted to have, was had.  Though I don't feel better about the results, I do feel more satisfied with the ending.

 

So you can save the scathing posts and taunts of "You got served!" 

 

To clarify/sum up, I will always care very very deeply about her, I thank her for everything she has given me, the good and the bad (and it was far and away more great than bad), I am nothing more than a victim of circumstance and my own mistakes, and if I could be her friend and not have it hurt so damn much, I would in a heartbeat.

 

I'll hopefully return later this afternoon (after I spend 2.5 hours in the purgatory known as "[Insurance Company] Interactive Legal Computer Systems Training" with a review of the great little crime drama, Layer Cake.  If you've seen it-- prime us up for a review with your thoughts.

 

Happy Birthday Pizz!

-apk

IF I CAN BE SERIOUS FOR A MINUTE: "Nothing Lasts Forever"

Sure has been a while, hasn't it?  I'm sorry, really I am-- but i'm in a major crunch to make my billable requirement by the end of the November.  INot only are my hours getting longer, but it seems I've always got something to do when I get home. The other night it was get a haircut and buy a topcoat, tonight it's "pack for Homecoming" and clean my room.  It nearly sucks-- especially since I'm missing what's proving to be a great World Series, and a litany of shitty Penguins games... But alas, I must bill! And I'm going to have to make a run at it, hardcore over the next five weeks if I want to have a shot at all.  We're talkin (gasp!) weekends, folks!

 

But not this weekend! This weekend I'm meeting up with Jack, Uram, and Special Guest Star Ballerina Sarah at D-Son for some good ol' fashioned Homecoming fun.  Hopefully it will bring what has been a positively whirlwind October to a satisfying end.

 

Anyway, If I can be serious for a minute...

 

In what is becoming a theme around here, "do your best to bear with me" as I try to find time to post more often. Also, I just haven't had a lot to say lately.  I'm not very introspective these days, in that most things, and it doesn't matter if they're good or bad, are just rolling off of me.  I'm not focusing on the good, I'm not dwelling on the bad. I'm generally happy, but greatly indifferent, about almost everything.  I'm the only Penn State fan who easily shook off the Michigan loss, for instance.  I don't know if I'm numb to my emotions at this point, or just distracted by life, but it seems like I'm simply not getting caught up in anything, and thus, aren't taking the time to notice what's going on around me.  Thus, not much to talk about.

 

My trip to Arkansas to see Claire Classic was fantastic, and I'd love to write about that, but I can't seem to focus my thoughts long enough to do so.  Comparatively, I told Carolyn "goodbye" last night, for what I wholeheartedly intend to be the final time.  This should be wrecking me, and I should have something totally introspective and jadedly-romantic to write about it, but again, I can't focus my thoughts, and don't really have the inclination to write about it.  I even tried this morning, for my own sake, to jot some thoughts down in my journal, about how I'm more than a little disappointed, somewhat angry, and moderately annoyed at the anti-climacticness of the way things sputtered to an end.  However, I came up with nothing more than a collection of disjointed thoughts that started with, "After being uncerimoniously cast aside like a used piece of wet cardboard," and ended with "I don't believe my greatest failure was loving you, but in believing in you in the first place," I found that everything in the middle failed to truly summarize my feelings (at 6:33 this morning, at least) as well as those bookend insights. 

 

So maybe I'm in a lull, though it doesn't feel like it.  I love my job, am happy with my life (though there's a gaping hole where my three biggest friendships of the last year used to be), and am excited about my prospects for the future. Especially in light of the way I felt totally re-invigorated following my time spent with Claire Classic.  To paraphrase Captain Kirk from Star Trek II (who himself quotes Dickens), perhaps it is to a "Far, far better resting place" that the Old APK goes to, than I have ever known.  For though a mere two weeks ago, I felt old and out of place, like Kirk (and you really should see Trek II-- which is just a great movie, regardless of it's Geek Factor), I feel young now, for the first time in ages. 

 

Though I fear that I will come to regret the decision I made last night to say goodbye, I simultaneously feel that there is just as great a chance that finding the strength to move on, so that I no longer suffer needlessly in the face of a hopeless dream, could become "A far, far better thing I do, than I have ever done."

 

The worst part is that only time will tell.

 

Song of the Day is, quite appropriately, "Goodbye" by Hootie & the Blowfish.

-apk

The Official Radio Station of the Kingdom

I am ALWAYS a Party.

 

if anyone can get these guys to send me a t-shirt, I'll be thankful forever.

 

It's the PARTY, 93.7!

 

-apk

DAILY DOSE: "Why I believe in jinxes, and Brodie Croyle, Be My Dad"

I have found my next favorite slow white QB with a big arm, and his name is Brodie Croyle.  More on this later....

 

Well, I made it back from the Drrty Souf, and I can honestly say that the trip was exactly what I needed. Many thanks to Claire Classic for making it all possible.  We'll have more on this later this week, when I've had more time to reflect and expound.  Anyway, before I go any further, it's quick link time.  All I have to say to this is:

 

Well, uh...Duh..

 

I can't beleive people spend money to fund studies like that. Crazy.

 

Anywho, GREAT weekend to be a sports fan, unless you're ME.  Please refer to last week's post, where I talked about how awesome all my teams are, and then cross-reference with the ends of the Penn State and Stillers games. And you people wonder why I'm supersticious. I mean really, this was what, the FIRST TIME I ever gloated about my teams on this Blog, and look what happens. Blame JoePa, the PSU Defense, Bill Cowher, and Tommy Maddox all you want, but boys, this week is on me. 

 

But seriously, if ABC makes me sit through another Texas blowout until they're up 42-10 before switching to the PSU game just because i'm in Arkansas, I'm going to go batshit.  Wait-- that already happened.  On the birght side, I never really expected the Nits to win the Nat Championship or anything, so a 1-point loss to Michigan on the road is not the end of the world. I'd gladly trade that for wins over ...oh, the rest of the schedule and a Big Ten Championship. However, with Derek Williams OUT forever, such daydreams may have just become wishful thinking...and that sucks.  I can't stress enough how critical this week's game with Illinois, of all people, just became. The defense needs to send a message, and the offense needs to bounce back. If this isn't an a) win; and a b) blowout, things could get hairy for ThunderDan40 and the rest of the Lions, like my ex-Dad (he got BITCHED by Hart on that last drive) Pozluzny. 

 

At least my adopted SEC team, who shall remain nameless, escaped with their undefeated record in tact.  That, and at least the Pujols-led Cards have lived to fight another day. So it's not all a total loss. Maybe someday the Pens'll win a game, eh? Whaddya think, EdZo? Howzabout we win one....

 

and finally, because this has been sitting in my draftbox for a LONNNNNNNNNNNNG (read:  4months) time, I present to you my answers to Elise's "interview game."  If anyone wants to play along, read the directions at the bottom.  And Gramps, I promise that your spotlight will be up someday sooner or later maybe.  If you want to edit it-- feel free, and I'll post it. 

 

now, the Interview Game:

 

The Official Interview Game Rules:
1. If you want to participate, leave a comment saying "interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different.
3. You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

 

My Questions from E:

5 questions
1.)   Sight or sound - If you had to give up either your ability to see or to hear, which would you choose and why?
2.)   What is so important to you that you'd leave the girl of your dreams for it?
3.)   If you could be a cartoon character, who would you be?
4.)   Favorite alcoholic drink?
5.)   In what way are you least understood?

 

My answers:

 1.)   Sight or sound - If you had to give up either your ability to see or to hear, which would you choose and why?  I'm a very visual person, so this one is really far too easy.  Take the hearing, if you must. I'll miss the crack of a baseball bat, Huey Lewis, and hearing my dog bark when I come home, but NONE of that compares to looking into grey-green eyes, looking up at the stars, or checking out internet porn. 

 

2.)   What is so important to you that you'd leave the girl of your dreams for it?
> Absolutely nothing. The only possible things would be if one of my six closest relatives: (Mom, Dad, Gooder, Adina, Bro-in-Law Chris, Dog Penny) needed intense medical treatment or something in some far off distant land, and I was the only person who could go with them and bring them back to health. That's about it.  There isn't a job, sporting event, movie, or anything ordinary that I'd leave the girl of my dreams for. If I ever get her back, I'm certainly not leaving her...Unless the Bucs are in a Game 7 of the Series, I guess...

 

3.)   If you could be a cartoon character, who would you be? What a GREAT question.  Quick sidebar-- during first year, I heard a guy say that he was once asked at a job inteview which superhero he'd like to be, and why.  After much deliberation, I decided on Hawkeye, from the Avengers-- everyone else has too much baggage. Superman's too easy. Batman's parents are dead. Captain America has lost 50 years of his life from being frozen in a block of ice. Hawkeye? Cool costume, cool archery-abilities, he lives in Avengers Mansion, and he bags hot chicks like the Black Widow all the time. Hawkeye's the guy for me. That is, until last summer when he DIED...but I digress. So Cartoon character? Tough one.. I'll disqualify superheroes, cuz that's too easy for me, and instead go with Gaston from Beauty and the Beast.  It'd be great to be that obnoxious and hunky and ridiculous, and good at everything. You know, until the frakkin' Beast drops you off of a castle.  Since he's dead too, I'll punt, and go with Chip of Rescue Rangers fame.  Cool jacket/hat combo, and he's probably got a better-than-even chance of tagging Gadget someday. Gadget is easily the hottest of all cartoon mice.

 

 4.)   Favorite alcoholic drink? Way too broad of a question. I mean, it all depends on what kind of mood I'm in.  If I absolutely HAVE to pick, I would say it's some Theta Chi Jungle Juice, just because it tastes great, wrecks you hard, and the fruit is good, too.  In fact, the more I think about this, the more I feel that aside from the incredible hangover naturally involved with it, this is far and away my favourite.  Though a few wines, like anything made by V. Sattui are REALLY close, especially the Gamay Rouge, Johannesberg Reisling, and Muscat.

 

 5.)   In what way are you least understood?How much time do you have?  People don't truly understand that I exist as some sort of delicate balance between intellectual and fratguy.  I'd just as soon go to the museum and look at classical sculpture as down some brews at the ballpark.  Though many people understand that, I think that there's only a small handful that truly realize that I'm constantly trying to balance these complex halves between comic books and poetry, strip clubs and love songs.  I fear that many people only see one side of my coin, or that even worse, many people think that I have no idea who I am, and thus have no real identity. The truth is, I'm always looking inwardly, so I really think I've got a strong grasp on who I am.  It's just that, I'm so many diametrically opposed things that it's hard to make them all work together.  I've found a few people that understand this (whether they realize it or not) and it's the most gratifying feeling in the world to feel like I don't have to play to a role (alternately of geek and/or fratguy) and can just be ME around them. It's liberating, really. I wish that more people got that.
 

 

And there you have it: the answers to E's questions. Keep in mind, I wrote these on June 7, so some minor points may have shifted. 

 

And on that note, I'll move it right along and finish off my day.  Break time's over, time to get 'er done-- I've got a lot of hours to bill by the end of next month.  Frak.

 

be good to each other,

-apk

 

My Airborne Coffin

Well cats, I'm off to Jonesboro by way of Memphis for an abbreviated vay-cay. I'll be back on Tuesday, hopefully with something from Uram...or at least maybe that Spotlight that Cory hates me for never posting...keep your fingers crossed..

 

also, in case this little puddle jumper (ie: if i'm lucky, they might let me fly it..) doesn't make it...i love you all, and i'll smile down on you from wherever it is we go when we die (probably an island in the middle of the pacific with "a hatch"). 

 

with that, i leave you some of the greatest advice i've ever heard. This is from Moneybags MacPhail, whom I played baseball with at D-Son.  He's got his pilot's license, and sat next to me on my first nervous flight, a similar tin-can flying from H-burg to Cincinnati:

 

"Always sit by the wing if you can. It's the strongest part of the plane, and gives you the most chance for survival."

 

hoping that Rick Vaughan and Willie Mays ("I wonder if there are any pilots") Hayes are on the flight, I leave you.

-apk

ThunderDan40 says: "Tamba! PLAY NICE!! You give him his ball back!"

Like the Team that Will Not be Named, I'm BACK, BABY!

 

It's been a while, of course, but that's due largely to the facts that:

1) I passed the Bar (by ELEVEN points! woot!) and have been busy celebrating

2) It's tough coming up with time to write during the day, and even tougher to come up with free time a night, being I'm in the midst of preparing/getting my ducks in a row for my epic vacation to Jonesboro, AR, coming this weekend.

3) I was at the Happiest of Valleys on Saturday with Kup, Banner, and Grampy.

 

Now, normally, just hanging out with Kup, Banner, and Grampy is more than enough to have a good time. Tack on an amazing experience at Beaver Stadium with 109.800 of my very best friends in the whole wide world, and we're talking an intergalacticly momentous occassion.  It would have been extra cool, too, if Banner and Staubby hadn't left us in the parking lot for two hours, while they tailgated with Banner's folks and didn't tell us, as we eagerly anticipated after-victory debauchery.

 

an actual exchange once they finally showed up:

Banner: You should've known where we were!

Kup:  You should've know where we were, and either called us or come and gotten us!

Staubbie: Our phones are both dead, so we have excuses for not calling you!

apk:  God forbid you borrow someone ELSE'S phone!

Staubbie:  Yeah, like I know either of your numbers off the top of my head!

apk: ....I gave you my card earlier today.

Staubbie: ...it's on there, huh..?  ::pulls out my card:: yup..there it is... ::hangs head::

apk: Defense rests.

 

But alls well that ends well- as once we finally fought our way out of the University, we headed to the Daddy Banner Mansion, ordered pizza, and re-watched the game we had just witnessed on Daddy Banner's GOLORIOUS 487inch HD monstrosity.The best part of the entire night, though, was watching Lou Holtz SERVE that May guy on ESPN as he started saying TTTWNBN was only doing well because JoePA saw the light and got "hip" (who says "hip"?) by retorting with, "Now, I know you're mad because Pitt's having a bad year, but...."

 

Simply. Priceless.

 

There's tons more to discuss, but I'm out of time for now...maybe later, but I've still SO much to do...Like Play NHL '06 for my GameCube. Early Verdict:  First dynasty mode ever that seems more annoying than fun... there's TOO much day-to-day stuff to do, like set practice schedules and build up your coaching staff... so i said screw it, and just went to a regular season mode. On the bright side, games are FAST, and i'm actually learning how to score now. Though I'm afraid that the "medium" level is FAR too easy. And also, the Players Assoc. SUCKS, because none of the rookies are on the game. Meaning: NO SIDNEY CROSBY.  Dumb Fraks.  So I made "The Kid," after, of course, I traded Pallfy, LeClair, et al to the Pens... No Thibault, though. I'm goin with M-A Fleury, and my BOY, Andy Chiodo.  Currently, the verdict is OUT on this one.  If you've not picked up a hockey video game in a long time, and want to try your hand at the new rules, while having the normal quality of an EA Sports game, ALL for the Lo-lo price of only $29.99, I think it's a good move.  We'll see, though. I'll give you more feedback later.

 

Now, I leave you with PART II of the Greatest Football Link of All Time .

 

be good to each other!

-apk

 

ps: I almost forgot to mention how GOOD it is for me to be a sports fan this week!  Not only did the Sox get swept right out of the playoffs (tooting my horn: i went 3-4 in the first round, and actually got the NL DEAD ON), but the Stillers won a positively THRILLING game, TTTWNBN is like, 1st in 19 computer polls (crazy! translation: UM beats us this week), the Patriots are barely .500, the Pirates have a new coach with a (gasp!) winning attitude/record, Yough won it's first Conference Footbal Championship since the Sophran Era when i was in the sixth grade, Pitt is Captiol "T" Terrible, the Angels and Cardinals both advanced, 'Bama's as big a story as TTTWNBN.  The only thing sucking is the Pens, and it's just too early there to care.  Good, GOOD stuff. 

 

also, Paul Posluszny, Be My Dad.

 

 

 

It's apk, ESQUIRE, bitches!

Okay, so I'm not licensed yet, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to pass the background check..

 

Top Five Best Ways to Break the News:

 

5) "And I said, 'Hey Lama, how 'bout a little something, you know, for the effort?' And he says, 'There won't be any money, but from here on out, you shall be known as APK, Esquire.' So I got that going for me ... which is nice."

 

4) "I am Maximus Decimus Meridius, Esquire - Commander of the Northern Armies, General of the Felix Legions, father of a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife, and I will have my vengeance - in this life or the next!"

  

3) "I'm Ted "Theodore" Logan, and this APK, Esquire-- WYLD STALLIONZ RULE!"

 

2) "Next to my kid bein' born, this is the Greatest Night in the History of My Life, and I just want to say to my wife who's at home, YO ADRIENNE!! I DID IT!!"

 

1) "You failed your highness, I am an Esquire. Unlike my father before me."  

 

-So Bet It...Esquire.

 

LINK OF A LIFETIME

-apk, esq.

Do do do DO, Do-do DO do DOOO ...IT'S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN!!!!

I can hear Kurt singing now...

 

Bar Results are tomorrow at 11am.

 

-apk

LINK OF THE DAY: "Sis Boom BA!"

Fellas, I give you the greatest football list ever assembled .

 

 

and congrats to KLE for passing the IL bar!

 

-apk

OCTOBER MADNESS: I Live For This!

Oh, you bet. It's that time! POST-SEASON BASEBALL, bitches!

 

I've got ZERO time right now, so I'll keep this quick, just to get on the record. When all my predictions are right, I'll go back and explain.

 

Here goes:

 

Quick Thoughts:

Braves:  Too old, and too young.  I don't know where the Offense is going to come from.

 

Cardinals:  Decent bullpen, word has it the starters are out of gas. No depth on the bench. Unless Pujols has his coming out party, this isn't ending well.

 

Astros: Can't hit. But in the postseason, great pitching beats great hitting.  Clemens-lovers, kindly refer to his last two Game 7 starts to see why he's no longer a big time postseason pitcher.  (Now that I've jinxed him....)

 

Padres: Riiiiiiight. Peavy can get them a win. Maybe Woody Williams, too-- since they've pulled the Cards.

 

Yankees: Any other year, their bats could carry them. Two problems: they've got no pitching, and Anaheim OWNS them.

 

Angels:  The best team in baseball no one knows about.  Pitchings there. Smallball's there. Big bats are there-- this is the only complete team in the playoffs.

 

Red Sox:  I'm not convinced they have the arms. And sooner or later, someone's got to stop pitching to Ortiz, right?

 

White Sox:  This team doesn't get on base, though their arms can light you up.  They've showed an ability to sack up with their backs against the wall over the last couple weeks. But I'm still not a believer. 

 

that being said:

 

American League

 

Angels over Yankees in 4.

Red Sox over White Sox in 5.

 

Angels over Red Sox in 6.

 

National League

Astros over Bravesin 4

Cardinals over Padres in 3.

 

Astros over Cardinals in 7.

 

World Series

Angels over Astros in 6

 

and there you have it. YOUR Wold Series Champions: The City of Angels Angels of Anaheim.

 

-apk